往事随风 (w English)
5/8
当车辆在拥挤的高速上随着缓缓的车流接上另一条高速时，车道开始通畅无阻，车速也随之加快。很快，一个从高速公路一侧拔地而起的熟悉建筑扑入眼帘，醒目的红色，顶部尖尖的三角在不起眼地转动着。
这个再熟悉不过的标志性建筑是一个大型的棒球场，我以前无数次经过过。只是疫情下很少出门，也好久没走这条道了，这次它的出现却意外地掀起了我记忆的一角。
我问某人，还记得那一年你带女儿来这里看棒球比赛，我公司给的贵宾席票?
某人点点头回答着，"记得的，好像看过两次。"
那是2008年金融风暴来临前的一两年。公司曾经风光无限，老总有直升机，公司准备上市，旗下还sponsor了球队，因此员工有幸拿到包厢的票。记得一个员工一次最多可以有两张票，而我不懂棒球，就让某人带着女儿去看。只记得那时还在上小学抑或是刚刚上初中的女儿看完球，回来兴奋地叽叽呱呱说着，她和爸爸那天是如何坐在绝佳的位置上一边欣赏着球赛，一边不停地吃着有人送过来的chips，drinks等。这或许是她早年的人生中鲜有的一两次被当作贵宾似接待的moments。而这样的时光随着金融风暴，随着公司的倒闭一起湮灭了。不经意间，十几年过去了， 女儿已经长大成人，离开了家。。。
"好像还带她去看过hockey" ，某人看着高速公路另一侧的冰球大楼加了一句。
"你好像还带她去听过一场现场的演唱会。记得她好像还写过一篇短文--如何的人挤人，如何被两边疯狂的人群架起来，脚都不能着地，一度感觉要窒息。。。" 我一边挖着记忆中可怜的一些残片，一边补充着。
那一刻，我们都庆幸能在她的生命中留下了这些除了学习、除了比赛之外值得记忆的闲暇时光，这或许是我们留给她legacy的一部分，珍贵，不可替代。而这一点在过了这么多年后才深刻意识到。。。
车辆继续向前，不久又看到自己来美后重新读书的校园。靠近高速公路的那一侧校园在搭建着parking building, 而我脑海里涌动着更多的是那一个个夜晚，某人开车送我去上学，下课后再开车把我接回家的一幕幕。那时的我不会开车，后来学车又出了状况，因此某人不让我开车，宁愿一趟趟地送一趟趟地接，期间也搭去同一个学校上学的邻居的车。就这样一送一接两年多，晚上七点左右的课，下课十点左右，去的路上高速永远很堵，回来的路上天总是黑漆漆的，而每次接送，女儿都坐在后座的car seat上。。。还有周六一大早，某人送我去另一个local college补修数学课，一修一上午，下课后，又是他带着女儿来接，有时手里还拎着买的盒饭。。。
那些曾经没有身份，一家人拮据过日子的时光远去了，而每每想起，又会触动泪腺，想着如果能给女儿更好的童年，更多美好的记忆该有多好，而今条件好了，孩子却大了，我们自己也老了。
那一日爬了那里一个regional park的山。疫情下很少去这样的park, parking fee 不知何时起从$5涨到$7。
公园里盛开的玫瑰。
从山顶俯瞰远处的城市
山中喧闹的野花
爬时感觉有六十度的坡
回望六十度的山坡
山中依稀可见的野花
下山途中碰见的幸福的狗狗：
If it were not for a certain Chinese medicine said to be helpful for the gallbladder, we would not be driving northbound to a city more than thirty minutes away, a city we haven’t been to for years. The traffic on the freeway was bad, more crowded than what I remember on a regular pre-pandemic Saturday. The scenes on both sides of freeway do not seem to change much: bare and dull California mountains in the distance, low residential homes below, and tall commercial buildings by the freeway. Amid neatly trimmed towering palm trees are some prominent company logos, standing there invariably for more than a decade now. Blue jacarandas are in full bloom, and their violet-colored flowers are dazzling in the sun. Then a red giant erected A- shaped billboard came to my sight, triggering a reminiscence of the time when with the two suite tickets from my company, he and our daughter went to watch a baseball game here. I remembered a young and excited face after the game. She must have had a good time watching balls flying in front of her, cheering with the crowds, while sitting in a shaded suite with snacks and drinks being served continuously.
He chimed in, saying that they watched a hockey game together possibly in a stadium across the freeway. And a live concert he took her to, where the wildly roaring audience almost squeezed her short of breath, and for a time her feet were off the ground…
I don’t know how much she remembers, and how she looks upon her past 18 years living with us. We lived a thrifty life in the first decade, struggling with our legal status and financials. And like any Chinese mom, I pushed her at both curricular and extracurricular activities, stripping her much of the spare time. But even so, life then was still punctuated with many happy hours,
More memories flooded in, and tears started welling up in my eyes as we drove by the familiar campus, where I studied for more than two years for a degree. Unable to drive, I was chauffeured by him three nights a week to and fro, with our little daughter sitting in the back in her car seat…..
Soon we arrived at the destination, and we decided to visit a regional park first before shopping for the medicine. Like any southern CA valleys and mountains, the trails are dusty and gravelly, but we were rewarded with a bird’s view of the city after a sweating and laborious ascent of the 60 degree slope to the top. The cities spread in front of us, swaths of white-roofed buildings mixed with orange- roofed homes. Some May flowers linger in the heat while most are seeding and withering. We hiked more than 11000 steps that day.