婚姻，阴影及其它

Marriage and Shadow

Reading on a phycologist made me thinking. Then I shared my thoughts with a friend who is experiencing hardships with her marriage:

It is through a marriage, or any intimate relationships, that we discover our true selves.

Most of the conflicts in a marriage are caused by our shadows. Those shadows were developed at the early years and they remained as unconscious dominating our behaviors and thoughts.

Running away from a marriage is actually running away from the truth and our true self.

It may not be correct that a marriage is depressing. It could be the truth that two individuals need to grow together and hold up a marriage.

A marriage help us identify our shadow and can also support us to grow out of the shadow only if and when you are ready.

Growing up is the main goal, a good marriage comes along the way. It is not vice versa.

Engagement

In the movie “Sleepless in Seattle”, there is a scene when Anny announced “Walter and I are engaged!” People were happily cheering and clapping. Although, Anny met Sam eventually, an engagement is such a crucial and exciting decision. Getting engaged and getting married are life’s milestones. However, I would think there is another engagement which is equally, if not more, important, which is the engagement with oneself. And the Vow may goes like “No matter rain or shine, no matter healthy or ill, there should always be unconditional acceptance and appreciation.

Soul Mate

I think there are five key qualifications of a soulmate. They can be put into a simple abbreviation: LAUGH (Listening, Accompanying, Understanding, Guiding and Humour). Nevertheless, the best candidate of this role would likely to be oneself.

Memories

I ever made a joke. Our brain is thousand times more powerful and reliable than a fridge. Food saved in a fridge may be kept fresh for a few weeks; memories created by our brain will remain vivid for life. Memories are precious. They are the proof of one’s life. No memories, no living. The memories could be scene, sound, smell, taste; and also could be intense feelings and emotions. Some memories are stored easily- images are kept with pictures, sound are recorded on CDs and e-storage devices. I am wondering how can we save the memories of  smell and taste? Furthermore, where to kept all feelings and emotions that have been experienced at each life stage.