感情靠谱还是理智靠谱?# Piebridge - 鹊桥
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The Cycle of Domestic Violence
http://www.domesticviolenceroundtable.org/domestic-violence-cyc
In 1979, psychologist Lenore Walker found that many violent relationships
follow a common pattern or cycle. The entire cycle may happen in one day or
it may take weeks or months. It is different for every relationship and not
all relationships follow the cycle—many report a constant stage of siege
with little relief.
This cycle has three parts:
Tension building phase—Tension builds over common domestic issues like
money, children or jobs. Verbal abuse begins. The victim tries to control
the situation by pleasing the abuser, giving in or avoiding the abuse. None
of these will stop the violence. Eventually, the tension reaches a boiling
point and physical abuse begins.
Acute battering episode—When the tension peaks, the physical violence
begins. It is usually triggered by the presence of an external event or by
the abuser’s emotional state—but not by the victim’s behavior. This means
the start of the battering episode is unpredictable and beyond the victim’
s control. However, some experts believe that in some cases victims may
unconsciously provoke the abuse so they can release the tension, and move on
to the honeymoon phase.
The honeymoon phase—First, the abuser is ashamed of his behavior. He
expresses remorse, tries to minimize the abuse and might even blame it on
the partner. He may then exhibit loving, kind behavior followed by apologies
, generosity and helpfulness. He will genuinely attempt to convince the
partner that the abuse will not happen again. This loving and contrite
behavior strengthens the bond between the partners and will probably
convince the victim, once again, that leaving the relationship is not
necessary.
This cycle continues over and over, and may help explain why victims stay in
abusive relationships. The abuse may be terrible, but the promises and
generosity of the honeymoon phase give the victim the false belief that
everything will be all right.
http://www.domesticviolenceroundtable.org/domestic-violence-cyc
In 1979, psychologist Lenore Walker found that many violent relationships
follow a common pattern or cycle. The entire cycle may happen in one day or
it may take weeks or months. It is different for every relationship and not
all relationships follow the cycle—many report a constant stage of siege
with little relief.
This cycle has three parts:
Tension building phase—Tension builds over common domestic issues like
money, children or jobs. Verbal abuse begins. The victim tries to control
the situation by pleasing the abuser, giving in or avoiding the abuse. None
of these will stop the violence. Eventually, the tension reaches a boiling
point and physical abuse begins.
Acute battering episode—When the tension peaks, the physical violence
begins. It is usually triggered by the presence of an external event or by
the abuser’s emotional state—but not by the victim’s behavior. This means
the start of the battering episode is unpredictable and beyond the victim’
s control. However, some experts believe that in some cases victims may
unconsciously provoke the abuse so they can release the tension, and move on
to the honeymoon phase.
The honeymoon phase—First, the abuser is ashamed of his behavior. He
expresses remorse, tries to minimize the abuse and might even blame it on
the partner. He may then exhibit loving, kind behavior followed by apologies
, generosity and helpfulness. He will genuinely attempt to convince the
partner that the abuse will not happen again. This loving and contrite
behavior strengthens the bond between the partners and will probably
convince the victim, once again, that leaving the relationship is not
necessary.
This cycle continues over and over, and may help explain why victims stay in
abusive relationships. The abuse may be terrible, but the promises and
generosity of the honeymoon phase give the victim the false belief that
everything will be all right.
