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zz a joke on English# Translation - 译林
J*s
1
【 以下文字转载自 LoveNLust 讨论区 】
发信人: JeanIris (Iris), 信区: LoveNLust
标 题: 唱 忆秦娥
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Sat May 21 10:58:56 2011, 美东)
谢谢大家!
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T*y
2
Yesterday some friend mentioned this, and I googled it to know the full
article. If you haven't read it before, enjoy now. :-)
============================================
The English Language
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.
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g*i
3
非常有意思!
请问“当当的”是梨花大鼓的鼓点么?
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wh
4
nice.
"English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France"
这俩不知道。谁发明的?

Language?

【在 T*******y 的大作中提到】
: Yesterday some friend mentioned this, and I googled it to know the full
: article. If you haven't read it before, enjoy now. :-)
: ============================================
: The English Language
: Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
: Let's face it
: English is a stupid language.
: There is no egg in the eggplant
: No ham in the hamburger
: And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

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R*e
5

无知的问:这是什么戏种。。。?
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T*y
6
I pondered upon them earlier, as well. Just now I googled for the
answers, and there were so many stories!
=================================================
Here are some answers:
http://www.thenibble.com/reviews/main/breadstuffs/english-muffi
The English muffin, first called a “toaster crumpet.” was invented in 1894 by a British immigrant to New York, Samuel Bath Thomas. Immediately embraced as a more elegant alternative to toast, it was served at fine hotels and ultimately became a mainstay of American breakfast cuisine.
The Brits did not invent the English muffin—in fact, they had never heard of it until the 1990s, when Best Foods, a unit of international conglomerate Unilever, bought the S.B. Thomas brand† and began exporting it to the U.K.
Here's another story that's contrary to the above answer. Anyway, I don't know which is true:
http://www.kitchenproject.com/history/EnglishMuffin.htm
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090724213150AARQJ
'Frenching' is actually the technique of cutting something into long strips rather than a description of where Fries originate. In fact the process of deep-frying potatoes in oil originated in Spain but the modern French Fry was developed in Belgium.
I did see other websites mentioning this Belgium origin or Spain origin:
http://www.funtrivia.com/askft/Question75166.html

【在 wh 的大作中提到】
: nice.
: "English muffins were not invented in England
: French fries were not invented in France"
: 这俩不知道。谁发明的?
:
: Language?

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J*s
7
京韵,lol

【在 R*******e 的大作中提到】
: 赞
: 无知的问:这是什么戏种。。。?

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b*s
8
哈哈,Hagen-Dazs哪里的……

【在 wh 的大作中提到】
: nice.
: "English muffins were not invented in England
: French fries were not invented in France"
: 这俩不知道。谁发明的?
:
: Language?

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J*s
9
吉他打得点子
滥竽充数鼓点儿吧

【在 g*****i 的大作中提到】
: 非常有意思!
: 请问“当当的”是梨花大鼓的鼓点么?

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T*y
10
Brooklyn, NY.

【在 b*s 的大作中提到】
: 哈哈,Hagen-Dazs哪里的……
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a*d
11
高手,我亏啦,早知道上周录,还少丢点脸。吉他尾音太丰富,跟大鼓的弦子(是这么
叫吧)两股劲。

【在 J******s 的大作中提到】
: 吉他打得点子
: 滥竽充数鼓点儿吧

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b*s
12
最先在Bronx创办,在Brooklyn开的第一家店……

【在 T*******y 的大作中提到】
: Brooklyn, NY.
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S*9
13
赞原创!赞因陋就简!终于有奔传统曲艺的了……
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T*y
14
okay, you are so NIU! :-)

【在 b*s 的大作中提到】
: 最先在Bronx创办,在Brooklyn开的第一家店……
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R*e
15
还是自己配乐,再赞!

【在 J******s 的大作中提到】
: 吉他打得点子
: 滥竽充数鼓点儿吧

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c*g
16
中文也不遑多让。清+明, 端+午 词和构词元件意思差够远。

Language?

【在 T*******y 的大作中提到】
: Yesterday some friend mentioned this, and I googled it to know the full
: article. If you haven't read it before, enjoy now. :-)
: ============================================
: The English Language
: Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
: Let's face it
: English is a stupid language.
: There is no egg in the eggplant
: No ham in the hamburger
: And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

avatar
q*m
17
谢科普!!
盼多奔!!!
;)

【在 J******s 的大作中提到】
: 京韵,lol
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T*y
18
En. The famous ones are 射 and 矮。

【在 c********g 的大作中提到】
: 中文也不遑多让。清+明, 端+午 词和构词元件意思差够远。
:
: Language?

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q*m
19
期待阿紫的大鼓,吼吼吼。。。

【在 a**d 的大作中提到】
: 高手,我亏啦,早知道上周录,还少丢点脸。吉他尾音太丰富,跟大鼓的弦子(是这么
: 叫吧)两股劲。

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l*l
20
有意思!谢谢分享:-)

Language?

【在 T*******y 的大作中提到】
: En. The famous ones are 射 and 矮。
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i*i
21
赞!
我喜欢那句 魂恩恩恩散 :D

【在 J******s 的大作中提到】
: 【 以下文字转载自 LoveNLust 讨论区 】
: 发信人: JeanIris (Iris), 信区: LoveNLust
: 标 题: 唱 忆秦娥
: 发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Sat May 21 10:58:56 2011, 美东)
: 谢谢大家!

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d*e
22
###此帖已应当事人要求删除###

【在 T*******y 的大作中提到】
: En. The famous ones are 射 and 矮。
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J*s
23
其实那个地方我本来想儿化的,不过觉得又太那个了,哈哈
于是乎多加了几个恩...........
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T*y
24
hehe, I guess so. It's an American friend who mentioned a couple of lines to
me, and I gooled to find out this whole piece. There's no author mentioned.

【在 d**e 的大作中提到】
: ###此帖已应当事人要求删除###
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T*y
25
Here's more:
================================================
Things to ponder
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy
liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the
doors?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height
, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn
on the headlights?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards as it is forwards?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment,
but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
If a black box in a plane is indestructible, why can't they make the whole
plane out of it?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down
the volume on the radio?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why is there an expiry date on my sour cream container?
Why call it a building if it's already been built?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?
If the front of your car says 'DODGE', do you really need a horn?
What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Do blind Eskimos heave seeing-eye sled dogs?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special
Olympics?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Why call it "take" a dump, when you leave something behind?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why do we call it a hot water heater if the water is already hot?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Is there another word for thesaurus?
Is the color orange called that because it's the color of the fruit of the
same name, or was the fruit called orange because that's its color? Which
came first, the color or the fruit?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the
water?
How can there be self-help "groups"?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it
considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still
grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their
stomach?
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it
on the cost of living.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Why is a pear called a pear when there is only one?
What do they pack Styrofoam in?
Why did God give men nipples?
Is grass really greener on the other side?
Do boxer shorts box?
Why do you wear a pair of panties and only one bra?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Why is it called a "near miss" when you don't hit something?
When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs?
Before the light bulb was invented, what appeared over peoples heads when
they had an idea?
If you spin an Oriental person around and around, does he become
disorientated?
If a vegetable goes into a coma, is it called a person?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why does the word monosyllabic contain five syllables?
If you wear an antennae to a wedding, would the reception be better?
Why is abbreviated such a long word?
If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box what color would it change to?
Why do people point to their wrist when they want to know the time? Do I
point to my crotch when I want to know where the bathroom is?
Why is there an 's' in lisp?
If you were scared half to death twice, would you be 3/4 dead or 100% dead?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain
silent?
If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest end up drowning as well?
What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered
plant?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no
woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If you asked a librarian where the books on self help were would they tell
you, or would that defeat the purpose?
If ATM stands for Automatic Teller Machine, why do we call it an ATM machine
? And if PIN stands for Personal Identification Number, why do we call it a
PIN number?
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wh
26
那为啥叫Hagen-Daz啊?德国人创的吗?

【在 b*s 的大作中提到】
: 最先在Bronx创办,在Brooklyn开的第一家店……
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wh
27
多谢多谢,好玩。

1894 by a British immigrant to New York, Samuel Bath Thomas. Immediately
embraced as a more elegant alternative to toast, it was served at fine
hotels and ultimately became a mainstay of American breakfast cuisine.
of it until the 1990s, when Best Foods, a unit of international
conglomerate Unilever, bought the S.B. Thomas brand† and began
exporting it to the U.K.
know which is true:

【在 T*******y 的大作中提到】
: I pondered upon them earlier, as well. Just now I googled for the
: answers, and there were so many stories!
: =================================================
: Here are some answers:
: http://www.thenibble.com/reviews/main/breadstuffs/english-muffi
: The English muffin, first called a “toaster crumpet.” was invented in 1894 by a British immigrant to New York, Samuel Bath Thomas. Immediately embraced as a more elegant alternative to toast, it was served at fine hotels and ultimately became a mainstay of American breakfast cuisine.
: The Brits did not invent the English muffin—in fact, they had never heard of it until the 1990s, when Best Foods, a unit of international conglomerate Unilever, bought the S.B. Thomas brand† and began exporting it to the U.K.
: Here's another story that's contrary to the above answer. Anyway, I don't know which is true:
: http://www.kitchenproject.com/history/EnglishMuffin.htm
: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090724213150AARQJ

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s*y
28
外来的和尚好念经,呵呵

【在 wh 的大作中提到】
: 那为啥叫Hagen-Daz啊?德国人创的吗?
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T*y
29
hehe, 精辟! It's a man-made word simply to sound foreign.

【在 s*******y 的大作中提到】
: 外来的和尚好念经,呵呵
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a*m
30
LOL

Language?

【在 T*******y 的大作中提到】
: Yesterday some friend mentioned this, and I googled it to know the full
: article. If you haven't read it before, enjoy now. :-)
: ============================================
: The English Language
: Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
: Let's face it
: English is a stupid language.
: There is no egg in the eggplant
: No ham in the hamburger
: And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

avatar
a*m
31
Aren't all words man-made? ^_^

【在 T*******y 的大作中提到】
: hehe, 精辟! It's a man-made word simply to sound foreign.
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wh
32
啊原来是自创的啊,我以为是个姓名啥的,哈哈。

【在 T*******y 的大作中提到】
: hehe, 精辟! It's a man-made word simply to sound foreign.
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T*y
33
wh mm is very understanding ah. I should have said that it was self-made.
hehe, I wiki-ed it to know. I don't guarantee anything ah. :-)

【在 wh 的大作中提到】
: 啊原来是自创的啊,我以为是个姓名啥的,哈哈。
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wh
34
你要负责的啊,你说啥我就信啥的啊……哈哈。

【在 T*******y 的大作中提到】
: wh mm is very understanding ah. I should have said that it was self-made.
: hehe, I wiki-ed it to know. I don't guarantee anything ah. :-)

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b*s
35
忽悠哈欧的人啊……

【在 wh 的大作中提到】
: 那为啥叫Hagen-Daz啊?德国人创的吗?
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