APAD: Be there or be square
Meaning:
Turn up to an event or be boring or no fun and be left out and excluded.
Background:
The common phrase `be there or be square' is believed to originate in the
jazz scene in the United States in the 1950s.
Before this time, the word square was used to depict anything straightforward
and measured, in contrast to the off-beat jamming sessions of jazz music, so
in the 1940s, the term `square' was used to refer to someone who failed to
appreciate jazz music, and someone who was seen as out of touch with the
trend.
The phrase `be there or be square' was popularised by the 1950s. The meaning
of the phrase `be there or be square' expanded over time to mean `be there or
be someone who doesn't appreciate trending counter culture', or in other
words, someone who isn't cool. With its catchy rhythmic appeal, it's no
surprise the phrase caught on.
Since its use in the jazz scene, the phrase has come up again and again in
other contexts, including in the 1960s disco scene, and later in the 1970s
and 1980s the punk rock scene.
If you don't wish to offend someone by saying that they are boring or uncool,
it would be best to avoid this phrase and to use an alternative phrase
instead, such as `I hope you can make it'.
The phrase `be there or be square' is best used when you expect the person or
people to turn up to the event in question.
- www.phrases.org.uk [edited]
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The gym hosted seminars a couple of times per year, and members enjoyed
discounts to the annual camp taught by BJJ luminaries. Not everyone took the
opportunities, however. Chris, my old training partner, stopped going after a
year.
"The professors were great and their skills amazing. It was only that their
teachings went in one ear out the other and I'd forget the lessons in three
weeks," he griped.
"What about the camaraderie? The stills sure show folks having a great time," I
reminded him.
"While soaked in the buddy-buddy vibes and the oneness of the tribe, you forget
lieutenant Tessio's parting shot, that it was only business!" he snorted. "To
truly know people, you have to watch how they treat those who can't do anything
for them."
"That's true," I have to concede. "But no pressure for you?"
"Me? I'm not dying to belong. I'm an old bird addicted to the joy of missing
out. I won't be there, I'd rather be square!"