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斯人如桂:剪不断理还乱是爱的哀愁

斯人如桂:剪不断理还乱是爱的哀愁

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(十四)剪不断理还乱

彼特拉克的《歌集》第129首:

爱引导着我,思绪万千,

翻越重山,因为每条燃烧的路

都搅乱了平静的生活。

如果孤独的坡上有小溪或喷泉,

如果两座丘陵之间有一个幽暗的山谷,

苦恼的心会在那儿平静下来:

而且,被爱情所邀,

或微笑,或哭泣,或恐惧或安逸:

我的心追随着她,脸又随心走

时而沉郁,时而明朗,

情绪阴晴不定:

所以情场老手见到我这幅模样

会说:“他被爱火燃烧着,不知所措。”

Love leads me on, from thought to thought,

from mountain to mountain, since every path blazed

proves opposed to the tranquil life.

If there is a stream or a fountain on a solitary slope,

if a shadowed valley lies between two hills,

the distressed soul calms itself there:

and, as Love invites it to,

now smiles, or weeps, or fears, or feels secure:

and my face that follows the soul where she leads

is turbid and then clear,

and remains only a short time in one mode:

so that a man expert in such a life would say

at the sight of me: 'He is on fire, and uncertain of his state.'

 

我在高山上和蛮荒的树林里

找到休息处:每个有人烟的地方

是我眼中的凡俗之敌。

每走一步,脑海中就冒出一个

关于她的新念想,将我的痛苦

化成喜悦,因为她:

而且由于,我常常希望

改变这种苦甜交加的生活

我说:“也许爱在拯救你

为了更好的将来:

也许你对另一个人好,对自己却很残忍”。

我叹息着,继续说:

“这是真的吗?为何会这样?何时开始的?”

I find some repose in high mountains

and in savage woods: each inhabited place

is the mortal enemy of my eyes.

At every step a new thought of my lady

is born, which often turns the suffering

I bear to joy, because of her:

and, as often as I wish

to alter my bitter and sweet life,

I say: 'Perhaps Love is saving you

for a better time:

perhaps you are dear to another, hateful to yourself.'

And with this, sighing, I continue:

‘Now can this be true? And how? And when?'

 

有时我会停留在高高的松树或山丘

的阴影下,伫立在第一块石头上

满脑子想着她那张可爱的脸。

回过神来,我发现自己的胸口

被悔恨的泪水打湿了:然后我说:“哎,

你来找谁,你与谁分开了呢!”

只要我能坚持

把散漫的思绪集中在第一个想法上,

凝视着她,忘了我自己,

我觉得爱离我如此之近

我的灵魂甚至对自己的错误感到满意:

我在很多地方见过她,她如此可爱,

我所要求的不会比上次的错误更多。

Sometimes I stop where a high pine tree or a hill

provides shade, and on the first stone

I trace in my mind her lovely face.

When I come to myself, I find my chest

wet with pity: and then I say: 'Ah, alas,

what are you come to, and what are you parted from!'

But as long as I can keep

my wandering mind fixed on that first thought,

and gaze at her, and forget myself,

I feel Love so close to me

that my soul is satisfied with its own error:

I see her in many places and so lovely,

that I ask no more than that my error last.

 

许多次我在这里见到栩栩如生的她

(现在,谁会相信我呢?)在清澈的水里

在绿草地,在山毛榉树干上,

在洁白的云朵里,形象如此多变,勒达

肯定会说她的女儿黯然失色了,

和星星一样,太阳被其光线遮挡:

我走过的地方越原始

经过的海岸越荒凉,

脑海里描绘的她就越美丽。

当真实打消了

那个甜蜜的错误,我仍然坐在那儿全身发凉,

如同一块活石上的死石,

以一个思考、哭泣和写作的男人形象出现。

Many times I have seen here vividly

(now, who will believe me?) in clear water

and on green grass, and in a beech trunk,

and in a white cloud, so made that Leda

would surely have said her daughter was eclipsed,

like a star the sun obscures with its rays:

and the wilder the place I find

and the more deserted the shore,

the more beautifully my thoughts depict her.

Then when the truth dispels

that sweet error, I still sit there chilled,

the same, a dead stone on living stone,

in the shape of a man who thinks and weeps and writes.

 

我感到一种强烈的渴望将我引到

最高和最有用的山峰

其他山脉的阴影无法落到这里:

我在那儿开始用眼睛衡量

我的痛苦,哭泣着,释放

凝结在心中的愁云

当我思考着并看到

我与她可爱的脸之间的距离,

总是那么近,又那么遥远

然后我轻声哭泣:

“哎,你知道什么!也许在某个地方

她正在为你的缺席而叹气”。

这个想法让灵魂释怀。

I feel a sole intense desire draw me

where the shadow of no other mountain falls,

towards the highest and most helpful peak:

from there I begin to measure out my suffering

with my eyes, and, weeping, to release

the sorrowful cloud that condenses in my heart,

when I think and see,

what distance parts me from her lovely face,

which is always so near to me, and so far.

Then softly I weep to myself:

'Alas, what do you know! Perhaps somewhere

now she is sighing for your absence.'

And the soul takes breath at this thought.

 

歌,在山上飘扬

那里的天空更加宁静和快乐,

你会在奔腾的溪流旁再次看到我,

那里有芬芳的月桂树

连微风都带着香。

那儿有我的心,那颗被她偷走的心:

在这里你只能看到我的幽灵。

Song, beyond the mountain,

there where the sky is more serene and joyful,

you will see me once more by a running stream,

where the breeze is fragrant

with fresh and perfumed laurel.

There is my heart, and she who steals it from me:

here you can only see my ghost.

 

诗歌中的月桂象征着纯洁。彼特拉克引用了希腊神话中勒达的故事,承认他的百转千回的思念中夹杂着很多性幻想。勒达是斯巴达王之妻,宙斯变身天鹅与勒达调情。勒达生下两枚鹅蛋,一个鹅蛋裂开,里面出来海伦的哥哥卡斯托耳与波吕丢刻斯,另一个鹅蛋裂开,出来海伦和克吕泰涅斯特拉。意大利庞贝古城挖掘出来的壁画里就有“勒达与天鹅”(Leda and the Swan)题材,表达出人类对性爱的渴望与追求。彼特拉克见到劳拉“在清澈的水里,在绿草地,在山毛榉树干上,在洁白的云朵里,形象如此多变”,连勒达都大为惊叹,他于此含蓄地表示了自己对有着一头金发的劳拉的肉体的渴望。1348年劳拉离世时,诗人痛苦万分。后来,在《给后人的信》中,诗人写道:“我年轻时,我曾一直和那无法抵抗的,但是纯洁的,我唯一的爱,斗争。如果不是她的早逝,我会继续斗争下去,(斗争)痛苦,但是对我有益的。斗争把那团火熄灭。我常常希望我能说我完全自由于肉体的欲望了,但是我知道,那样我是在说谎。”

(达芬奇的《勒达与天鹅》)

 

作者谦虚地认为收集在《歌集》中的爱情诗是他一生捋不清的混乱思想与情感的写照,所以称其为“支离破碎的俗语诗”。可世间最刻骨铭心的相思,不都是“剪不断理还乱”的吗?

 

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来源: 文学城-南小鹿
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