为你千万遍---读《追风筝的人》

劳动节长周末，在家找书看时，看到书架子上的一本落了不少灰尘的小说The Kite Runner《追风筝的人》，想起那是女儿高中同学送给她的，那位同学的父母是从巴基斯坦移民来的。看着书封面顶部的"纽约时报最佳畅销书"的字样，我掸去灰尘，花了一个周末读完了它。It's sn easy read.

 

小说以二十世纪七十年代阿富汗首都喀布尔为主要背景，讲述了一个发生在富裕家庭的故事。Amir就是这富家的独子，母亲生下他就去世了。 他有一个小他一岁、情同手足的玩伴Hassan，两人从小一起长大，如果说Amir开口说的第一个字是爸爸Baba, 那么Hassan开口说的第一个字是Amir。他们生活在同一个屋檐下(广义上)，喝着同一个奶妈的奶水长大。不同的是，Hassan是Amir家仆人的儿子， 并不住在他家的洋房里，住的是后院简易的平房里。 少爷Amir理所当然地享受着Hassan和Hassan爸爸Ali的服侍。他每天上学前的早餐和衣裤是Hassan准备，他没人玩的时候，是Hassan无怨无悔陪其左右，陪他玩耍。 少爷Amir去上学了，Hassan在家做家事，没有学上，他大字不识，却是Amir故事的忠实听众。

 

Amir的父亲是个远近闻名的富商，不仅生意做得好，好善乐施，接济四邻百姓，还是人们心中的"打虎英雄"。不料儿子Amir却生性懦弱，与父亲期盼中的刚毅男孩相去甚远，让父亲十分失望。 Amir虽然胆小，却热爱写作，写得一手好文，总想因此得到父亲赏识，而父亲却从不对递上来的稿子正眼瞧一眼。父子间的这种疏远、僵硬关系让Amir非常渴望父爱，渴望得到父亲对自己的认可。

 

这样的机会终于来了。一年一度的放风筝比赛要在Amir十二岁那年的冬天举行。Amir是个放风筝的高手，有Hassan做他的搭档，两人配合默契，一个管天一个管线，一个放风筝，一个在最终风筝下落后追逐着它的方向捡回风筝，因为胜利者一定要以风筝在握为准。那一次比赛，Amir赢了，他的风筝在百余只风筝中脱颖而出，鏖战群雄，成了最后一只飘荡在蓝天上的风筝。结束后，Hassan一个人跑着去捡风筝。Amir等不来Hassan，就只身去寻找，却不料看见了悲惨的一幕。Hassan被三个少年恶霸围住在小巷里，欲夺走风筝。死死把风筝抱在怀里不放的Hassan，最后被那个为首的无赖鸡奸了。而这一幕被Amir看到了，懦弱的他选择了逃离现场，可从此却无法面对自己。Hassan的时常出现，连同他看到的那条斑斑血迹的裤子，像幽灵一样拷问着他的良心，让他痛苦纠结，不能自拔。

 

十三岁生日那年，因着放风筝冠军的荣耀，父亲邀请了四百多人，在自己的大豪宅里为Amir举办了盛大的生日party， 并送给他一只高档手表。被愧疚心、自卑心折磨得无地自容无法逃脱的他，却把手表和收到的一些现金偷偷放在Hassan的席子下面，以此栽赃Hassan，达到撵他走的目的。Hassan明知是栽赃陷害，为了Amir却承认了下来。Hassan的爸爸知道内情后，执意要离开了主人家。一个大雨如注的早晨，父子俩离开了这个他们视之为家的地方，离开了喀布尔，投奔乡下亲戚家。 一个为你(Amir)千遍万遍也愿意( For you, a thousand times over")的Hassan从此远走他乡，不再相见。

 

故事读到这里，我感动涕零。为Hassan的遭遇，他的忠诚、善良而动容。 他就像作者说的一只羔羊，任人宰割，不知抗争，牺牲自己成全主人。

 

故事讲到这里，却只有小说的一半，高潮还在下面。不久，俄国军队入侵阿富汗。Amir父子不得已背井离乡，从阿富汗逃亡到巴基斯坦，又辗转到了美国。后来父亲得癌症去世了。二十年后，38岁的Amir应约再次赴阿富汗，却得知了一个天大的秘密: Hassan是他的half brother, 同父异母的兄弟。Amir这才回想起父亲对Hassan的种种关怀和爱抚，同时也想起父亲曾经告诫过他的一句话，这世界上唯一的罪是偷窃: "When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal a wife's right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone's right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness. There is no act more wretched than stealing."当你杀害一个人，你偷走一条性命，你偷走他妻子身为人妇的权利，夺走他子女的父亲。当你说谎时，你偷走别人知道真相的权利。当你欺骗时，你偷走公平的权利。没有比偷窃更罪大恶极令人痛心疾首了的。    

 

而他父亲自己不也是一个罪人吗？他偷人，偷了一个跟了他四十年的仆人的老婆，最后眼睁睁地看着自己的亲儿子绝尘而去，至死也没有再见一面。他带着这个秘密，这样的负罪心死去，而Hassan至死也不知情。这是何等的罪孽啊。

 

小说到这里写得是成功的，至少煽动了我一个读者的情感。他把爱与罚，罪与赎，正义和邪恶，谎言背叛与诚实忠诚，刻画得淋漓尽致，同时又把他们置身于历史背景下，向全世界描述阿富汗人民曾经拥有的安定生活，战争的生灵涂炭，战后的满目疮痍千疮百孔，根深蒂固的强烈种族歧视，和由此带给弱势群体的无边挣扎和痛苦，让画面交叠，让人性的善恶呈现，让人对社会底层人民的遭遇扼腕长叹。

 

小说一度在《纽约时报》的排行榜上居高不下而名噪一时，作为第一本介绍阿富汗的英文小说，作为第一代移民，一个15岁才踏上美国国土的作者，这样的语言，这样的文笔无可挑剔。然而，后半截故事(讲移民)的编排写作却有落入俗套之嫌，给人好莱坞似结局的生硬感。而作者本人的亲美立场 ，比如小说里借父亲之口说出的，这世界上只有三位可以被称之为堂堂君子的人，一是美国，二是英国，三是以色列， 加上小说的一些猎奇性或许都为这本小说的畅销起到推波助燃的功效。

 

 

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09/04/2019 Journal

 I woke up to a warm and muggy morning. Having accustomed to the dry and mild summer here in southern CA, I know that an autumn morning like this is a barometer of another sweltering day. After breakfast was served and done, I entered the closet for the change. A striped dress of white and black came to my sight.  For the whole summer, dresses have been hanging idly in the closet, as wearing them in the cool weather is an option, plus most daytime is spent in an air-conditioned office.  But today may be the day to put it on, I told myself.  
The morning breeze caressed my naked arms, fluttering the skirt hem as I walked towards the office building. It will be another workday, not much to look forward to. But a change of attire somehow brought forth a change of mood, not just the feel of lightness. Some kind compliments added on that. For a moment, I was reminded of the summers in China, where girls are more dressed up in skirts or dresses, floral or solid color, with myriad patterns and styles. Thanks to them, my youth and summers were remembered as colorful.
After lunch, I was about to rest in the car for a while.  The scorching sun, with the moist in the air, turned the parking lot to a sizzling ground.  The car, after being baked in the sun for a morning, was like an oven now. I moved it to a shady spot under a tree and rolled down all the windows. The wind from the street dispersed the heat a little bit, but it was far from enough to keep me in the car. I got out and walked back in the heat to the office without a desired nap.
As I hit the keyboard to unlock the screen, the beautiful desktop picture beckoned me welcomingly. It's a new one today, equally breathtaking as the last one.  These wonderfully imbedded photos, periodically changing and alternating, transport me to the distant land, where flowers bloom next to the crimson-colored soaring stones or the undulating mountains, as shown here. Unknown the places are to me and most of which I may never physically be able to step on in my life, viewing it alone gives me a getaway and some imaginations. My eyes lingered as I relished at the scenes.

 

 

I had my second tooth crown yesterday. The first one was done a couple of months ago, as a root- canaled tooth asked for it. But this one has an option of being filled or crowned. The dentist suggested a crown, of course, and I did not question it. Hopefully the crown protects the tooth as he claimed, and that the crown could last at least ten years before it wears out.
It is September now, three more months to go before the year draws to a close. Then it will be another year……