Thanks a lot, JeanIris!
I agree that asking this question here is a short-cut, which may not give me
the complete answer. Well, I am glad for what I have heard so far, and I
can leave it open for now.
It's good to know this word pāramitās, it's translated as 波罗密 ah. I
thought that the Jackfruit was called that name (波罗蜜, one word difference
), and I thought that maybe people were joking about something earlier. LOL.
Also, thanks for sharing your experiences, that's why I think that a
romantic relationship is the best vehicle for one's practice, as it brings
out the most inner self.
I'd say a bit more on this topic. Sometimes the conflicts feel like a fight
between contradicting ideas all at the conscious level.
For instance, one may get hurt when hearing something, and yet he does not
think that he should feel that way, but rather he'd think that he should
take the high road and let it go. However, the hurt feeling does not go. Why?
Because all feelings are just what they are, and they can't be reasoned away
, denied, bargained with, or buried away. They can only be released after
they are fully felt. Such release has to be done at the subconscious level
as well.
There's a book "The One Thing Holding You Back: Unleashing the Power of
Emotional Connection" by Raphael Cushnir, which is very good to talk about
how to feel one's emotion fully to release its energy. He called this
approach "2 by 2", and he's been helping many patients.
I find The Work to be compatible or have a similar motive to Raphael's
approach though. In The Work, the first step is to write out all the hurt
feelings without any reservation or any kindness, don't try to be a nice
person then, this step effectively draws out all the hidden hurt feelings,
instead of pushing them away. Then after experiencing them all, the turn-
around thoughts bring out the clarity of the reality, and it's a very
delightful place to be in.
Meditation would also help.