朱自清《荷塘月色》英译 - 未名空间MITBBS历史存档

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朱自清《荷塘月色》英译

朱自清《荷塘月色》英译# EnglishChat - 鸟语花香

l*r2004-11-23 08:11

1 楼

果然找到了～
The Lotus Pool By Moonlight
By Zhu Ziqing
The last few days have found me very restless. This evening as I sat in the
yard to enjoy the cool, it struck me how different the lotus pool I pass every
day must look under a full moon. The moon was sailing higher and higher up the
heavens, the sound of childish laughter had died away from the lane beyond our
wall, and my wife was in the house patting Juner and humming a lullaby to him.
I quietly slipped on a long gown, and walked out leaving th

l*r2004-11-23 08:11

2 楼

umm, seems the translator felt hard in this part too
月光是隔了树照过来的，高处丛生的灌木，落下参差的斑驳的黑影，却又像是画
在荷叶上。
As the moon shone from behind them, the dense trees on the hills threw
checkered shadows, dark forms loomed like devils, and the sparse, graceful
shadows of willows seemed painted on the lotus leaves.

every
the
our
him.
track
of
azure
And
carried
in
to
sparse,
moonlight
rhythm

【在 l****r 的大作中提到】

: 果然找到了～
: The Lotus Pool By Moonlight
: By Zhu Ziqing
: The last few days have found me very restless. This evening as I sat in the
: yard to enjoy the cool, it struck me how different the lotus pool I pass every
: day must look under a full moon. The moon was sailing higher and higher up the
: heavens, the sound of childish laughter had died away from the lane beyond our
: wall, and my wife was in the house patting Juner and humming a lullaby to him.
: I quietly slipped on a long gown, and walked out leaving th

n*t2004-11-23 08:11

3 楼

我必须承认汉语散文的英译还是很难的。
需要对英语的词汇有很细致的辨析。
而且还不太可能是native english speaker，
因为那样就不太能体会中文的妙处了。

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
好像漏了一句。

【在 l****r 的大作中提到】

: umm, seems the translator felt hard in this part too
: 月光是隔了树照过来的，高处丛生的灌木，落下参差的斑驳的黑影，却又像是画
: 在荷叶上。
: As the moon shone from behind them, the dense trees on the hills threw
: checkered shadows, dark forms loomed like devils, and the sparse, graceful
: shadows of willows seemed painted on the lotus leaves.
:
: every
: the
: our

a*a2004-11-23 08:11

4 楼

Qinghua University, Peking....
a little bit inconsistent?

【在 l****r 的大作中提到】

c*i2004-11-23 08:11

5 楼

估计是古狗出来的那个业余选手翻的。

【在 a***a 的大作中提到】

: Qinghua University, Peking....
: a little bit inconsistent?

c*i2004-11-23 08:11

6 楼

主要是需要读很多英文原著，否则这么酸不拉唧的东西一点儿感觉都没有。

【在 n******t 的大作中提到】

: 我必须承认汉语散文的英译还是很难的。
: 需要对英语的词汇有很细致的辨析。
: 而且还不太可能是native english speaker，
: 因为那样就不太能体会中文的妙处了。
:
: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
: 好像漏了一句。

h*d2004-11-23 08:11

7 楼

As moonlight trickling through the twigs, thicket from high up threw down
its shadow; dark, dappling and disorderly, like drawing on the lotus leaves.
With alliterations even. :D

【在 l****r 的大作中提到】

n*t2004-11-23 08:11

8 楼

Seems disorderly is not that suitable here...

【在 h****d 的大作中提到】

: As moonlight trickling through the twigs, thicket from high up threw down
: its shadow; dark, dappling and disorderly, like drawing on the lotus leaves.
: With alliterations even. :D

h*d2004-11-23 08:11

9 楼

Reason? :D
If you're worried about the apparent negative connotation of "disorderly",
I think it's been neutralized by the rising awareness of eastern aesthetic
perspective. Things can be wonderfully disorderly.

【在 n******t 的大作中提到】

: Seems disorderly is not that suitable here...