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how is this email?

how is this email?# EnglishChat - 鸟语花香

s*h2006-11-20 08:11

1 楼

this is an email i'm going to send to my phd committee members. could you
please read it and give me comments? thanks!!!
****************************************************************************
****
Dear professors,
This is Shenandoah. You are receiving this email because you are on my PhD
committee. I am writing to let you know that I am planning to take my
written preliminary exam at the beginning of next semester, for which I will
need to answer questions given from each of my committee m

n*e2006-11-20 08:11

2 楼

you need a serious rewrite.

a*y2006-11-20 08:11

3 楼

Indeed.

【在 n*******e 的大作中提到】

: you need a serious rewrite.

p*x2006-11-20 08:11

4 楼

你们学校有writing center么? 他们能帮你免费修改文章.

**
will
more

【在 s********h 的大作中提到】

: this is an email i'm going to send to my phd committee members. could you
: please read it and give me comments? thanks!!!
: ****************************************************************************
: ****
: Dear professors,
: This is Shenandoah. You are receiving this email because you are on my PhD
: committee. I am writing to let you know that I am planning to take my
: written preliminary exam at the beginning of next semester, for which I will
: need to answer questions given from each of my committee m

s*h2006-11-20 08:11

5 楼

really?? cry~~~~~~

【在 n*******e 的大作中提到】

: you need a serious rewrite.

s*h2006-11-20 08:11

6 楼

i don't know. maybe there is but this is just a short email. Does it worth
the bother?

【在 p*x 的大作中提到】

: 你们学校有writing center么? 他们能帮你免费修改文章.
:
: **
: will
: more

a*y2006-11-20 08:11

7 楼

try to be less straightforward and more polite...

【在 s********h 的大作中提到】

: really?? cry~~~~~~

s*h2006-11-20 08:11

8 楼

oh...i understand, but can you give an example of more polite expression?
Thank you!

【在 a*********y 的大作中提到】

: try to be less straightforward and more polite...

n*e2006-11-20 08:11

9 楼

**
will
more
could you tell me what you're trying to say?
we are more than happen to re-write it for you... right here.

【在 s********h 的大作中提到】

s*h2006-11-20 08:11

10 楼

oh, thank you!
I just want to let the professors know that I'm going to take the exam and I
need their questions. They will need to know my backgound to make those
questions, so I mentioned a little bit about that in the second paragraph.
Now does it make more sense? I'm sorry for my confusing writing. :p

【在 n*******e 的大作中提到】

:
: **
: will
: more
: could you tell me what you're trying to say?
: we are more than happen to re-write it for you... right here.

s*d2006-11-20 08:11

11 楼

i think it is all right. not sure why they all want you to rewrite.

**
will
more

【在 s********h 的大作中提到】

s*h2006-11-20 08:11

12 楼

oh, really?! This is such an encouragement to me! Thank you so much!
but do you think the "refer to" in the last sentence is all right? And how
is "Dear professors"? Is it polite enough?

【在 s**d 的大作中提到】

: i think it is all right. not sure why they all want you to rewrite.
:
: **
: will
: more

b*a2006-11-20 08:11

13 楼

给老师写信最好一对一，mass email俺是觉得不大礼貌

【在 s********h 的大作中提到】

: oh, really?! This is such an encouragement to me! Thank you so much!
: but do you think the "refer to" in the last sentence is all right? And how
: is "Dear professors"? Is it polite enough?

s*d2006-11-20 08:11

14 楼

I think your "refer to" was all right.
and i think you can "dear professors" them. hehe.

【在 s********h 的大作中提到】

: oh, really?! This is such an encouragement to me! Thank you so much!
: but do you think the "refer to" in the last sentence is all right? And how
: is "Dear professors"? Is it polite enough?