There is a book "A course in Miracles", maybe it could help. Fight against your mind , think less of yourself, remove any negative thinking patterns, little by little, you can cure yourself, then you can search for a partner.
这个问题其实也没有什么能与不能,美国depression的prevalence是17%-25%by the end of adolescence。难不成这些人都不恋爱结婚? 精神疾病的治疗不想治感冒那么有固定模式(药物,therapy等等),患者自身反而是 最重要的。对于depression的病人,找一个好的girl friend也许可以很好的帮自己从 抑郁中走出来,反之找一个wrong person可能让自己变的更糟。 建议楼主不要考虑太多,生活本身就是一个尝试的过程。
x*r
38 楼
My hudband has social anxiety for long long time. He had been actively XIANg1 Qin1 and when people knows what his medication is, the girls use some other excuse to stop the relationship. He finally gave up after a long list of xiangqin and after of break out of the anxiety (cannot eat, can not sleep, being scared of darkness, cannot drive on highway bridge). Then he found out that gingsen might help, so before he headout for parties etc, he take some gingsen and gradually reduce the medicine. When he gave up looking around, he contact me, he know I had good impression of him, but he didnot date me earlier becaise I am 1 year older than him. he only tell me he does not have strong health and stomach weakness. of course, I thought that is not a problem and I can help since I am a good cook and in biochem field. but a couple of month later, he told me he is taking medication, I asked for the medicine name and search, the medicine also had a lot of side effects, I hesitate, but more importantly I appreciate his character, also being a Yi4 Qi4 girl, I did not do anything, just prayed for three signs 1. he can stop the medicine, 2 he has hold on to his faith 3 he can still have sex drive (don't get me wrong, we did not cross the line, I just read the side effect of medcine is and it might has some possibility of problem) and he told me he was gradually stop the medicine and sounds like he still hold on faith of helping his axiety problem * meaning still pray for taht*
can he claim there is no problem with him, we get married, of course at that time I think the God;s Grace is enough for me and I was healthy and strong. But now I still think it is God Grace, I still respect his character, but occasionally I was a little but doubt that did I really waited and understand the signs or it was just my own interpretion, because 1 I get pregnant immedicately, and my husband who is stubborn insist I should go bacl to china to meet his family , cannanda first to get the visa. and when my daughter was born he is so weak to be of any help and when my son is accidently cometo my womb, he insist we should not have him because it might be girl again, and he can not handle to get third child to be boy. I was feeling insecure during the labor room, because I cannot rely on him too much. also when his parents are here for "help" he di dnot let his parents know he has weak problem, instead he use all his energy to please them and leave me and a 3 year old girl and a 1 month baby struggling around, that hurts my health too. but my health should eventually getting better with baby grow up and I have more sleep. that is fine. and my husband are very nice to the beautiful girl and the bubbling toddler boy, they are happy playing when he get home, also as for the social thing, holding a child/baby help him calm when talking to others or interact with others , so his interperson situation getting better with child accompany. I also try to give him a back touch when I sense he is anxious in talking to others. so it works and every neighbor might think we are beautiful family with mild kids, but I know deep down, I get insecure, of course I know God Grace is still sufficient for me, but I do get upset when my husband get blue and irritate by little girl and might even pat her with strong hand, I got hurted by shield my girl for =not getting the hit. And during his parents visit, he did hit my three times during my nursing monthes, that really hurted me, it still is. usually anxiety man are looking gentle but they are not open mind and are perectionist, they take care friends and parents and care about face more, but with too close wife, it might be another scene. anyway, what I was thinking is it works if you date and marry a mother- feeling like girl, healthy both physi and mentally, it still work, but the girl myst strong enough and has faith to support. go to run