I don't have experience with co-sleeping so I don't know if my answer is
correct on this.
However, I think at 10 months of age, babies shouldn't need to be fed at
night. Have you ever tried to let her drink a bottle to see how many ounces
is she taking?
For my baby, since I was a pumping mom, we always fed by bottles. He wouldn
't drink very much. So we ruled out hunger--he just wanted the comfort of
the bottle, but not the milk itself.
Sleep training is tough on the parents. When you do this, you and your
entire family MUST be prepared that there are going to be a few nights that
you get less sleep than you just stop training. This is when you need to be
firm and stand your ground. You shouldn't change your standards on the
baby because "you are lazy" or "you want the entire family to sleep better".
I think it's a great sign that your husband wants to train also. You and
him must unite, and let your parents know calmly and firmly, this is
something that you DO NOT want her to intervene. Explain to her, we love
the baby very much and it is going to work out.
You must believe in yourself and the baby. I think sending mixed messages
is a big no no--like how she has to cry herself out when going to sleep, but
in the middle of the night mom is going to feed.
My two cents on sleep training is that all other helps are marginal, the
single most important thing is to be able to stand the crying.
Ferber said if you try it for 1 week or so, and it gets worse after a week,
the baby is not ready. You can stop and re-evaluate at that point. In the
mean time, be consistent, don't get her. You don't want all her crying and
efforts go to waste do you?
I have a good friend who just went through this, too. Her baby used to wake
up every hour at night. She texted me yesterday that her baby was sleeping
through the night and they are all very happy. She said the 1st night,
baby cried on and off all night.
Oh, and there is sleep regression. Ferber said, maybe the first 3 days,
things get better. Then the 4th night, baby might even cry more, this is
normal. Just keep trying, with in a week, 2 weeks tops, she will sleep
through the night.
Good luck to you again.