来说说如何和家里的小朋友讨论这次的枪击事件吧 (update一下今 - 未名空间MITBBS历史存档

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来说说如何和家里的小朋友讨论这次的枪击事件吧 (update一下今

来说说如何和家里的小朋友讨论这次的枪击事件吧 (update一下今# Parenting - 为人父母

m*r2012-12-16 08:12

1 楼

谢谢楼下很多人的LINK和建议。
update 一下我家小朋友今天的情况，算是有个交代。
//下午接到她，问她今天过得怎么样，有什么高兴/不高兴的事情么？她想了一下就一
如既往像小麻雀一样汇报在学校和老师一起做SNOWFLAKE；Art Class她做了个小鸟大家
都说好LAHBLAHBLAH。。。
我一看，好像没啥事儿，心里还挺高兴的。回到家到做HOMEWORK，。。一切如常。
吃晚饭的时候，开始来事儿了。
饭桌上，小姑娘忽然发问：Did you hear any news about two bad guys shooting
at an elementary school?
我心里想看来该来的还是来了，问：where did you hear about this?，
她说XXX和XXX（两个常常和她在RECESS TIME 一起玩的好朋友说起的。
我说是有这么回事，是在NY那边，A CRAZY GUY DID THIS。
她开始问：why did he do that?
Me：Because he is crazy。
She:What's the school's name?
Me: XXXXX
She:Did the students see a lots of blood?
Me: Well, I am not so sure.(这个属于不知道怎么答，含糊其辞，敷衍了事)
She: What if it happens to us, should we fight with him?
Me: He has gun, it will be too dangerous to fight with him, a better way is
to run away from him if you can.
She: Can we use Karate to kick him? (显然根本没明白枪是怎么回事儿）
Me: I don't think this will work under this situation. Just run away or
find a safe place to hide out.
She: humm,maybe I can run away from the other door in my classroom which
connects to Mrs.XXX's classroom！I can run very fast. I beat more than 10
people in my PE class!
Me: That sounds great!
然后我就开始照搬今天才看来得专家建议进行宽心教育：说这事儿很少发生的，你们学
校门口就是警察局，消防队，学校还会PRACTICE LOCKDOWN DRILL，小朋友都会很安全
的。。。
我还没说完，她就开始不耐烦听，和我说起她们班一男生今天在班上跳”GangnamStyle
“的事儿，然后让我给她找这舞的VIDEO看。这个话题看来就过去了。
基本上，如果这事情能止于此，不让她接触到更多的细节和画面，应该没有对她有太大
的困扰。谢天谢地。
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
特别是家里有半懂不懂的6，7岁娃的。
上周五娃学校的信上说明了学校还没有‘SHARE THE EVENT WITH THE STUDENT“。
然后提到如果孩子问起如何应对的一些STRATEGIES，比如说：reassure she is safe;
要talk about the tragety in age-appropriate way,；如有必要，turn off the TV,
because Some images are too strong for young children，ETC。。。
我家有个比较敏感，sometimes worry too much的女娃（5岁那年，学校搞earthquake
drill，人家神经比较大条的娃都觉得很FUN，我家的在那之后至少连续两周晚上拉着我
的手不让我离开她房间，不停的担心问我：what if the earthquake happens tonight
?what if I can not find you when it happens? what if you died...的问题。回答
不满意会急得哭。
这次的事件，我觉得是不是如果学校不会正式的SHARE THE EVENT，是不是没有必要和
娃主动提起？不然只会引起她的UPSET是不是？这种人间惨剧，对幼小心灵是很大的冲
击。而且说实话对这种无法防范的人祸，只能按天灾解释，除了说”sometimes bad
things happen“还能说什么呢？

l*a2012-12-16 08:12

2 楼

好像说，对于比较小的小孩，可以不必提起。

;
TV,
earthquake
tonight

【在 m**********r 的大作中提到】

: 谢谢楼下很多人的LINK和建议。
: update 一下我家小朋友今天的情况，算是有个交代。
: //下午接到她，问她今天过得怎么样，有什么高兴/不高兴的事情么？她想了一下就一
: 如既往像小麻雀一样汇报在学校和老师一起做SNOWFLAKE；Art Class她做了个小鸟大家
: 都说好LAHBLAHBLAH。。。
: 我一看，好像没啥事儿，心里还挺高兴的。回到家到做HOMEWORK，。。一切如常。
: 吃晚饭的时候，开始来事儿了。
: 饭桌上，小姑娘忽然发问：Did you hear any news about two bad guys shooting
: at an elementary school?
: 我心里想看来该来的还是来了，问：where did you hear about this?，

y*i2012-12-16 08:12

3 楼

看到有建议说7岁以下的孩子除非问起来不用主动提起
7岁以上 12岁以下
12岁以上
都有建议的不同的说法

;
TV,
earthquake
tonight

【在 m**********r 的大作中提到】

m*r2012-12-16 08:12

4 楼

嗯，我也是打算她不问起，就不提的。看来是对的。

k*e2012-12-16 08:12

5 楼

家有快5岁的娃，没打算提起，尽可能不让她看到相关的报导。如果她从别的地方听说
了，那只能尽可能开导。

y*e2012-12-16 08:12

6 楼

我问了娃如果碰到坏人怎么办
她说：那我也没办法
后来看我很不满意这个回答
说：我碰到坏人就找妈妈
无语了，没有继续探讨

【在 m**********r 的大作中提到】

: 嗯，我也是打算她不问起，就不提的。看来是对的。

m*r2012-12-16 08:12

7 楼

哈，这小朋友好可爱。这是这个年纪很标准的回答啊。呵呵。

【在 y********e 的大作中提到】

: 我问了娃如果碰到坏人怎么办
: 她说：那我也没办法
: 后来看我很不满意这个回答
: 说：我碰到坏人就找妈妈
: 无语了，没有继续探讨

m*j2012-12-16 08:12

8 楼

From our PTA:
"Like all of us, I'm shocked and pained by today's tragic event in Newtown,
Connecticut.
As parents and PTA leaders, we may also have to help our children cope with
scary news. Below are some helpful hints from Mr. Fred Rogers, the creator
of the children's television show Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.
Please feel free to share with your members. For more resources, you can go
to the Fred Rogers Website or to the American Psychological Association.
.....
"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would
say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are
helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my
mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still
so many helpers - so many caring people in this world."
Fred Rogers
.....
Helpful Hints
Do your best to keep the television off, or at least limit how much your
child sees of any news event.
Try to keep yourself calm. Your presence can help your child feel more
secure.
Give your child extra comfort and physical affection, like hugs or snuggling
up together with a favorite book. Physical comfort goes a long way towards
providing inner security. That closeness can nourish you, too.
Try to keep regular routines as normal as possible. Children and adults
count on their familiar pattern of everyday life.
Plan something that you and your child enjoy doing together, like taking a
walk, going on a picnic, having some quiet time, or doing something silly.
It can help to know there are simple things in life that can help us feel
better, in good times and in bad.
Even if children don't mention what they've seen or heard in the news, it
can help to ask what they think has happened. If parents don't bring up the
subject, children can be left with their misinterpretations. You may be
really surprised at how much your child has heard from others.
Focus attention on the helpers, like the police, firemen, doctors, nurses,
paramedics, and volunteers. It's reassuring to know there are many caring
people who are doing all they can to help others in this world.
Let your child know if you're making a donation, going to a town meeting,
writing a letter or e-mail of support, or taking some other action. It can
help children to know that adults take many different active roles and that
we don't give in to helplessness in times of worldwide crisis."

;
TV,
earthquake
tonight

【在 m**********r 的大作中提到】

: 哈，这小朋友好可爱。这是这个年纪很标准的回答啊。呵呵。

s*m2012-12-16 08:12

9 楼

楼主，你看看电视。电视上提供很多建议，反复强调一定要让孩子在上学之前，从家长
那里了解这件事情，这比孩子从同龄人的嘴里听说这样的事情对孩子身心健康的多。作
为家长，不能在自己孩子教育上作鸵鸟啊。

s*m2012-12-16 08:12

10 楼

a*e2012-12-16 08:12

11 楼

一个建议。
大家一定要让孩子明白：手枪对左右移动的物体，命中率很低很低，即使是训练有素的
枪手。不要被电影里那种开枪人就倒的骗人情节错误的让孩子以为面对枪手只能站在那
里等死。如果不幸遇到这样的事件，无法避开枪手，一定要跑起来，哪怕你不知道往哪
里跑，只要跑起来就还有希望。

;
TV,
earthquake
tonight

【在 m**********r 的大作中提到】

: 哈，这小朋友好可爱。这是这个年纪很标准的回答啊。呵呵。

w*22012-12-16 08:12

12 楼

我家从来不开电视，但我想老大明天上学会听别人说起的。所以今天我跟她讲A crazy
bad guy went to an elementary school and killed some kids on Friday. He was
killed now. Your schools should be safe. -We are on the west coast and
the policy station is only a few minutes away from school. 她没有问几个小孩
死了，只是问我那个学校在哪儿，叫什么，我怎么知道的。
我其实想昨天就说的，但我没有办法平静下来。I am totally shaken by this and
sick to my stomach. Those poors kids. I can't imagine what went through
their minds in those few minutes and how their parents will cope for the
rest of their lives.
My new year resolution is to going to shooting range to practice. It is too
late to ban guns, you may just as well be prepared and ready to fight back.

h*n2012-12-16 08:12

13 楼

9岁女儿老师今天发来的email:
Hello families of XXX,
I'm sorry I am not writing to you until now; I wanted to meet with my third
grade team first to discuss the best thing for the students at this very
difficult time. I have been thinking long and hard about this. I'm so very
sad to have to write this email about discussing the tragedy with your
children. I have been thinking of them all weekend long. I have read all of
the literature sent to us by the district and other concerned community
members. We suspect there will be a lot of talk on the upper yard before
school, so the third grade team decided we will all do duty in the morning.
If I do hear any talk about the tragedy in CT, I will let the children speak
briefly about it at our community circle. I will correct any misinformation
and to reassure them that they are safe at our school and we are all there
to protect them. I want them to be able to express any feelings about the
incident and comfort them in any way that I can. I'm not going to tell them
what to feel, but that it is okay to feel.
I will watch over them, as always, for any changes in behavior or mood.
Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.

m*r2012-12-16 08:12

14 楼

周末两天小朋友在家，家里电视处于休眠状态，呵呵。我也很怕每个台铺天盖地的渲染
（看了心里堵得慌）。
//我倒不是要做鸵鸟，而是在考虑什么方式沟通才是更适合她，虽然我自己也不是很确
定。我家小朋友比较敏感，算是个DEEP-THINKER。如果我像楼下WINDSTAR2012那样说，
我可以想象她之后会有几十个问题和担忧抛出来。我不是很确定一年级的小朋友到底对
这个事件能有多深的理解，会在班级里议论到什么程度。我想如果我刻意对她说出，给
她带来的恐惧不安感有可能是更难消除的。//我还是决定不主动提，但是我明天接她放
学会密切注意她的言语和情绪，她问多少，我就疏导多少。。。

【在 s*******m 的大作中提到】

: 楼主，你看看电视。电视上提供很多建议，反复强调一定要让孩子在上学之前，从家长
: 那里了解这件事情，这比孩子从同龄人的嘴里听说这样的事情对孩子身心健康的多。作
: 为家长，不能在自己孩子教育上作鸵鸟啊。

m*r2012-12-16 08:12

15 楼

谢谢你的建议，非常实用。。学习了。

【在 a**e 的大作中提到】

: 一个建议。
: 大家一定要让孩子明白：手枪对左右移动的物体，命中率很低很低，即使是训练有素的
: 枪手。不要被电影里那种开枪人就倒的骗人情节错误的让孩子以为面对枪手只能站在那
: 里等死。如果不幸遇到这样的事件，无法避开枪手，一定要跑起来，哪怕你不知道往哪
: 里跑，只要跑起来就还有希望。
:
: ;
: TV,
: earthquake
: tonight

m*r2012-12-16 08:12

16 楼

你这个反应正是那个所谓的长枪协会（NRA）想要的结果：时不时出现一下这样的杀戮
，政府不作为，讨论禁枪没有希望，大多数人无奈之下的选择就真的变成：既然没有希
望禁别人的枪，在这么不安全的情形下，那我也要武装好自己才行。。于是枪支再次大
卖，长枪协会生意兴隆。。。

too
late to ban guns, you may just as well be prepared and ready to fight back

【在 w**********2 的大作中提到】

: 我家从来不开电视，但我想老大明天上学会听别人说起的。所以今天我跟她讲A crazy
: bad guy went to an elementary school and killed some kids on Friday. He was
: killed now. Your schools should be safe. -We are on the west coast and
: the policy station is only a few minutes away from school. 她没有问几个小孩
: 死了，只是问我那个学校在哪儿，叫什么，我怎么知道的。
: 我其实想昨天就说的，但我没有办法平静下来。I am totally shaken by this and
: sick to my stomach. Those poors kids. I can't imagine what went through
: their minds in those few minutes and how their parents will cope for the
: rest of their lives.
: My new year resolution is to going to shooting range to practice. It is too

k*n2012-12-16 08:12

17 楼

我也决定孩子不问，我不主动提。不过我们跟孩子谈了学校的各种安全防火演习。孩子
倒是冒似知道如何处理

w*p2012-12-16 08:12

18 楼

The Crisis Management Institute has put together a document to help parents
talk to their children about the Sandy Hook incident.
http://www.katyisd.org/communications/Documents/Talking-With-Yo

d*t2012-12-16 08:12

19 楼

We did talk with her but more focused on how to self-survive in this kind of
situation. 4 things we shared with her. First, get yourself buckled while
driving is more important than worrying about crazy people shot in public
randomly. Car accident kills the most people everyday. Second, focusing
while you walking and crossing street. Third, do not talk with strangers and
how to ask for help in public. Finally, keep yourself really invisible in
this kind of situation and tried to be calm. Standing there screaming is the
worst decision.
Anyway, we thought it's a good communication. She was not scared and did ask
us some good questions. Our girl is 9 years old.

w*22012-12-16 08:12

20 楼

I support some form of gun control but it doesn't stop me from arming myself
. Be realistic.

【在 m**********r 的大作中提到】

: 你这个反应正是那个所谓的长枪协会（NRA）想要的结果：时不时出现一下这样的杀戮
: ，政府不作为，讨论禁枪没有希望，大多数人无奈之下的选择就真的变成：既然没有希
: 望禁别人的枪，在这么不安全的情形下，那我也要武装好自己才行。。于是枪支再次大
: 卖，长枪协会生意兴隆。。。
:
: too
: late to ban guns, you may just as well be prepared and ready to fight back

l*a2012-12-16 08:12

21 楼

你说的都是common sense...

of
and
the
ask

【在 d*****t 的大作中提到】

: We did talk with her but more focused on how to self-survive in this kind of
: situation. 4 things we shared with her. First, get yourself buckled while
: driving is more important than worrying about crazy people shot in public
: randomly. Car accident kills the most people everyday. Second, focusing
: while you walking and crossing street. Third, do not talk with strangers and
: how to ask for help in public. Finally, keep yourself really invisible in
: this kind of situation and tried to be calm. Standing there screaming is the
: worst decision.
: Anyway, we thought it's a good communication. She was not scared and did ask
: us some good questions. Our girl is 9 years old.

d*t2012-12-16 08:12

22 楼

不然呢，你打算说点啥深层次的？

【在 l******a 的大作中提到】

: 你说的都是common sense...
:
: of
: and
: the
: ask

i*o2012-12-16 08:12

23 楼

【在 d*****t 的大作中提到】

: 不然呢，你打算说点啥深层次的？

b*t2012-12-16 08:12

24 楼

顺便讲下概率吧，车祸死掉的人比枪击的多多了。

l*g2012-12-16 08:12

25 楼

我家老大刚好6岁，新闻看的我难受死了，哭了好几次。总是想如果是发生在我儿子身
上，我可能过不去了。
没有主动和他说发生了什么事，我家那个神经比较大条，总感觉他对这个世界还处于懵
懵懂懂，我不知如何启口说。后来看新闻实在忍不住了，就把他抱过来，问题如果有人
开枪怎么办，他毫不在乎的说那我就run away，哎......

l*a2012-12-16 08:12

26 楼

美国人选择不说的比较多.
我还是说了,可能吓着了已经.我家没TV.

;
TV,
earthquake
tonight

【在 m**********r 的大作中提到】