和各国女人约会(中英对照)
White Women
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position
白人女人
第一次约会:你和她吻别互道晚安
第二次约会:你把她摸个遍,或许多占点便宜。
第三次约会:你和她上床,但只能是“传教士”体位。
IRISH WOMEN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
爱尔兰女人
第一次约会:你们俩都彻底喝醉后上床
第二次约会:你们俩都彻底喝醉后上床
第二十周年:你们俩都彻底喝醉后上床
ITALIAN WOMEN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti &meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat
ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of
having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.
意大利女人
第一次约会:你带她去看演出,上一个很贵的饭店;
第二次约会:你见她父母,她妈妈做通心粉加肉丸给你吃;
第三次约会:你们俩上床,她想与你结婚并称要3克拉钻戒;
第五周年:你们已一起有五个孩子,(甚至)厌恶有嘿咻的想法;
第六周年:你给自己找了个小蜜;
JEWISH WOMEN:
First Date: You get terrific headache.
Second Date: You get even more great headache.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get headache again.
犹太女人
第一次约会:你头疼得要命
第二次约会:你头更疼了
第三次约会:你告诉她你将娶她,你头再不会疼。
CHINESE WOMEN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens
again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you've already
realized nothing is ever going to happen.
中国女人
第一次约会:你请她上昂贵的餐厅但啥也没发生;
第二次约会:你请她上更昂贵的餐厅但还是啥也没发生;
第三次约会:你根本就没有第三次因为你知道啥也不会发生。
INDIAN WOMEN:
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.
印度女人
第一次约会:你见她父母
第二次约会:商讨结婚时间
第三次约会:婚礼。
BLACK WOMEN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive
dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.
黑人女人
第一次约会:你请她上特昂贵的餐厅
第二次约会:你请她和她的闺蜜们去特昂贵的餐厅
第三次约会:你付她的房租;
第十次约会:她怀孕了但你不是孩子的爸;
MEXICAN WOMEN:
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and
have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his
girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma,
her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's Boyfriend
and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of
your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along
the Tijuana strip.
墨西哥女人
第一次约会:你请她上昂贵的餐厅,喝醉,然后在她车后座嘿咻;
第二次约会:她怀孕了
第三次约会:她搬进你住的地方;一周后,她妈妈,爸爸,闺蜜,俩个姐妹,兄弟
,及他们所有的孩子,奶奶,父亲的女朋友的妈妈及她的俩个表姐妹,她姐姐的男朋友
和他的仨孩子也搬进来了,从此后你就一直吃米和墨西哥豆,以前温磬的家变成了闹市。
PAKISTANI WOMEN:
First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles,
Friends and entire arab community finds out.
Second Date: You are shot dead.
No third date.
巴基斯坦女人
第一次约会:父,母,兄,弟,姐,妹,堂/表兄妹,叔叔,阿姨,朋友及整个阿
拉伯社区全知道了;
第二次约会:你被爆头;
没有第三次约会。