n*a
3 楼
He IS funny.
n*a
5 楼
The script I just transcribed based on the caption (with certain improvement)
Hi everybody.
I see a lot of really cocky bumper stickers, you know, like "My son is an
honored student" or "This car climbed Mountain Washington".
I surely want to see some humble ones, like "My son just moved back in with
us" or "I am on Facebook, I have two friends".
So when I drive in certain states in this country, I have to have my papers
ready, because I am an immigrant.
Then I learned that the term "immigrant" has a negative connotation. I think
that's probably why on those immigration papers, the United States
government decided to call us "Aliens".
Sound so much nicer you know: "Hey, we are not here to take your jobs, we
are just here to abduct you."
I heard this from my car radio a program called "This I believe", where
people talk about what they really believe in, and I prepared some material
for that show. And I just want to share it with you guys tonight.
So "This I believe" by Joe Wong.
I believe that if you give a man a fish, he will be totally weeded out.
And I believe that school closing is, for parents, kind of like the
Guantanamo Bay situation.
In the beginning we are like "Yeah it is closed!" "Oh, no! They are coming
here!"
And I believe that "Dominos" is a terrible name for a chain restaurant.
And I believe that the most important thing that Chinese invented is paper,
because before that we only had rock and scissors.
And I believed that laughter is the best medicine, but it's the worst
prescription. "Looks like you have pneumonia. Ha ha ha!"
And I believe that if I were to die in a car accident, I want it to be a
collision with a cement truck. That way immediately after I die, there is a
statue of me.
And I believe that when the lord comes back, he would be driving a car with
a bumper sticker that says "What would I do?"
And he should have his papers ready, because his name is Jesus (pronounced
in Latin not in English because Jesus was not born in USA).
And I believe that God is a woman, because she never forgets anything that
you've ever done. And she'd punish us with vengeance, only because she loves
you.
Thank you so much!
Hi everybody.
I see a lot of really cocky bumper stickers, you know, like "My son is an
honored student" or "This car climbed Mountain Washington".
I surely want to see some humble ones, like "My son just moved back in with
us" or "I am on Facebook, I have two friends".
So when I drive in certain states in this country, I have to have my papers
ready, because I am an immigrant.
Then I learned that the term "immigrant" has a negative connotation. I think
that's probably why on those immigration papers, the United States
government decided to call us "Aliens".
Sound so much nicer you know: "Hey, we are not here to take your jobs, we
are just here to abduct you."
I heard this from my car radio a program called "This I believe", where
people talk about what they really believe in, and I prepared some material
for that show. And I just want to share it with you guys tonight.
So "This I believe" by Joe Wong.
I believe that if you give a man a fish, he will be totally weeded out.
And I believe that school closing is, for parents, kind of like the
Guantanamo Bay situation.
In the beginning we are like "Yeah it is closed!" "Oh, no! They are coming
here!"
And I believe that "Dominos" is a terrible name for a chain restaurant.
And I believe that the most important thing that Chinese invented is paper,
because before that we only had rock and scissors.
And I believed that laughter is the best medicine, but it's the worst
prescription. "Looks like you have pneumonia. Ha ha ha!"
And I believe that if I were to die in a car accident, I want it to be a
collision with a cement truck. That way immediately after I die, there is a
statue of me.
And I believe that when the lord comes back, he would be driving a car with
a bumper sticker that says "What would I do?"
And he should have his papers ready, because his name is Jesus (pronounced
in Latin not in English because Jesus was not born in USA).
And I believe that God is a woman, because she never forgets anything that
you've ever done. And she'd punish us with vengeance, only because she loves
you.
Thank you so much!
r*e
6 楼
Didn't get the 'What would I do?' one.
T*I
8 楼
Very good!
I don't understand the "name is Jesus". Anyone can explain?
got it now "because Jesus was not born in USA"
I don't understand the "name is Jesus". Anyone can explain?
got it now "because Jesus was not born in USA"
n*a
9 楼
I like the "Dominos" joke. I also feel something is not right here. Most
Americans I know understand this one within 3 seconds.
Americans I know understand this one within 3 seconds.
n*s
17 楼
Anyone explain this line: "I believe that if you give a man a fish, he will
be totally weeded out."
be totally weeded out."
n*s
18 楼
I saw it last night in live. Rewatch it cleared a few things out. Thanks for
posting.
posting.
A*8
19 楼
英语里面有一句谚语"If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you
teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime." 而 "weed out" 有一点“优胜
劣汰”的感觉。所以把这两个合起来就明白了...
不过英语里面的这个谚语其实来自中文“授之以鱼不如授之以渔”,其原文有人说是出自《老子》
原文:“授人以鱼,不如授之以渔,授人以鱼只救一时之及,授人以渔则可解一生之需。” 不过老子原文里面
好像并没有这样的话,而且从语言角度看,这话也太“现代汉语”了,根本不符合老子的风格。
will
【在 n***s 的大作中提到】
: Anyone explain this line: "I believe that if you give a man a fish, he will
: be totally weeded out."
teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime." 而 "weed out" 有一点“优胜
劣汰”的感觉。所以把这两个合起来就明白了...
不过英语里面的这个谚语其实来自中文“授之以鱼不如授之以渔”,其原文有人说是出自《老子》
原文:“授人以鱼,不如授之以渔,授人以鱼只救一时之及,授人以渔则可解一生之需。” 不过老子原文里面
好像并没有这样的话,而且从语言角度看,这话也太“现代汉语”了,根本不符合老子的风格。
will
【在 n***s 的大作中提到】
: Anyone explain this line: "I believe that if you give a man a fish, he will
: be totally weeded out."
k*n
20 楼
I think it's a movie God Father reference. In mafia culture, a dead fish is
a warning that you will be killed soon.
you
出自《老子》
需。” 不过老子原文里面
子的风格。
【在 A*******8 的大作中提到】
: 英语里面有一句谚语"If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you
: teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime." 而 "weed out" 有一点“优胜
: 劣汰”的感觉。所以把这两个合起来就明白了...
: 不过英语里面的这个谚语其实来自中文“授之以鱼不如授之以渔”,其原文有人说是出自《老子》
: 原文:“授人以鱼,不如授之以渔,授人以鱼只救一时之及,授人以渔则可解一生之需。” 不过老子原文里面
: 好像并没有这样的话,而且从语言角度看,这话也太“现代汉语”了,根本不符合老子的风格。
:
: will
a warning that you will be killed soon.
you
出自《老子》
需。” 不过老子原文里面
子的风格。
【在 A*******8 的大作中提到】
: 英语里面有一句谚语"If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you
: teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime." 而 "weed out" 有一点“优胜
: 劣汰”的感觉。所以把这两个合起来就明白了...
: 不过英语里面的这个谚语其实来自中文“授之以鱼不如授之以渔”,其原文有人说是出自《老子》
: 原文:“授人以鱼,不如授之以渔,授人以鱼只救一时之及,授人以渔则可解一生之需。” 不过老子原文里面
: 好像并没有这样的话,而且从语言角度看,这话也太“现代汉语”了,根本不符合老子的风格。
:
: will
k*o
21 楼
no,这个应该是字幕错误。不是weeded out,而是weirded out。就是说,
你没事给人一条鱼,那个人会觉得很诡异。
you
出自《老子》
需。” 不过老子原文里面
子的风格。
【在 A*******8 的大作中提到】
: 英语里面有一句谚语"If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you
: teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime." 而 "weed out" 有一点“优胜
: 劣汰”的感觉。所以把这两个合起来就明白了...
: 不过英语里面的这个谚语其实来自中文“授之以鱼不如授之以渔”,其原文有人说是出自《老子》
: 原文:“授人以鱼,不如授之以渔,授人以鱼只救一时之及,授人以渔则可解一生之需。” 不过老子原文里面
: 好像并没有这样的话,而且从语言角度看,这话也太“现代汉语”了,根本不符合老子的风格。
:
: will
你没事给人一条鱼,那个人会觉得很诡异。
you
出自《老子》
需。” 不过老子原文里面
子的风格。
【在 A*******8 的大作中提到】
: 英语里面有一句谚语"If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you
: teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime." 而 "weed out" 有一点“优胜
: 劣汰”的感觉。所以把这两个合起来就明白了...
: 不过英语里面的这个谚语其实来自中文“授之以鱼不如授之以渔”,其原文有人说是出自《老子》
: 原文:“授人以鱼,不如授之以渔,授人以鱼只救一时之及,授人以渔则可解一生之需。” 不过老子原文里面
: 好像并没有这样的话,而且从语言角度看,这话也太“现代汉语”了,根本不符合老子的风格。
:
: will
A*8
27 楼
For parents if the school is closed they do not have to take their children
to school or get them from school. So it is less work. But then if school is
closed, the children will stay home, and the parents need to take care of
them and they can't enjoy their free day.
If Guantanamo bay is closed, Americans feel that it is one less burden for
whatever reason they choose. But then they realize the closing of Guantanamo
bay means that the prisoners will be brought back to a facility within the
continental US. Then it will be an inconvenience for Americans.
You see the analogy then.
can
【在 k*****n 的大作中提到】
: the Guantanamo bay closing and school closing don't seem very matching, can
: you explain?
to school or get them from school. So it is less work. But then if school is
closed, the children will stay home, and the parents need to take care of
them and they can't enjoy their free day.
If Guantanamo bay is closed, Americans feel that it is one less burden for
whatever reason they choose. But then they realize the closing of Guantanamo
bay means that the prisoners will be brought back to a facility within the
continental US. Then it will be an inconvenience for Americans.
You see the analogy then.
can
【在 k*****n 的大作中提到】
: the Guantanamo bay closing and school closing don't seem very matching, can
: you explain?
k*n
28 楼
You may need to have kid of school age to get this joke.
children
is
Guantanamo
the
【在 A*******8 的大作中提到】
: For parents if the school is closed they do not have to take their children
: to school or get them from school. So it is less work. But then if school is
: closed, the children will stay home, and the parents need to take care of
: them and they can't enjoy their free day.
: If Guantanamo bay is closed, Americans feel that it is one less burden for
: whatever reason they choose. But then they realize the closing of Guantanamo
: bay means that the prisoners will be brought back to a facility within the
: continental US. Then it will be an inconvenience for Americans.
: You see the analogy then.
:
children
is
Guantanamo
the
【在 A*******8 的大作中提到】
: For parents if the school is closed they do not have to take their children
: to school or get them from school. So it is less work. But then if school is
: closed, the children will stay home, and the parents need to take care of
: them and they can't enjoy their free day.
: If Guantanamo bay is closed, Americans feel that it is one less burden for
: whatever reason they choose. But then they realize the closing of Guantanamo
: bay means that the prisoners will be brought back to a facility within the
: continental US. Then it will be an inconvenience for Americans.
: You see the analogy then.
:
n*a
36 楼
最正宗的Bible其实是拉丁语的,Jesus = Iesus,中世纪圣经只有拉丁语的,较正式的
英语圣经是斯图亚特王朝以后才定下来的。
拉丁语已经没人说的,西班牙语是现代日常用的语言里最接近古拉丁语的。Latino,呵
呵。
这地方也是双关,一方面提示Jesus的出身(Jesus肯定是alien),一方面讽刺Arizona那几个州针对移民(尤
其是Latino移民)的苛法。
【在 A*******8 的大作中提到】
: 很多西语裔的人喜欢用Jesus这个名字,其实都是同一个词,但是西语发音就是视频里
: 他说的那个发音。因为很多racial profiling的人会看到西裔就怀疑是外国人。所以是
: 嘲讽美国人对西裔的racial profiling.
英语圣经是斯图亚特王朝以后才定下来的。
拉丁语已经没人说的,西班牙语是现代日常用的语言里最接近古拉丁语的。Latino,呵
呵。
这地方也是双关,一方面提示Jesus的出身(Jesus肯定是alien),一方面讽刺Arizona那几个州针对移民(尤
其是Latino移民)的苛法。
【在 A*******8 的大作中提到】
: 很多西语裔的人喜欢用Jesus这个名字,其实都是同一个词,但是西语发音就是视频里
: 他说的那个发音。因为很多racial profiling的人会看到西裔就怀疑是外国人。所以是
: 嘲讽美国人对西裔的racial profiling.
k*o
37 楼
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=weirded+out
别乱联想了,在日常美国生活中,你拿条鲜鱼送给你美国同事朋友,人家会
觉得你weird/creepy,所以收到鱼的美国人会weirded out。
【在 n*********a 的大作中提到】
: 没听说过weird out这个idiom。
: weeded out本意应该是被淘汰、完蛋的意思吧,和鱼的关系来自"授之鱼不如授之渔"这
: 个说法。
: 不过Joe Wang应该是加了个双关:就是鱼闻着味儿太大,被熏晕过去的意思,这意思来
: 自吸大麻(weed)被熏晕(out)。
别乱联想了,在日常美国生活中,你拿条鲜鱼送给你美国同事朋友,人家会
觉得你weird/creepy,所以收到鱼的美国人会weirded out。
【在 n*********a 的大作中提到】
: 没听说过weird out这个idiom。
: weeded out本意应该是被淘汰、完蛋的意思吧,和鱼的关系来自"授之鱼不如授之渔"这
: 个说法。
: 不过Joe Wang应该是加了个双关:就是鱼闻着味儿太大,被熏晕过去的意思,这意思来
: 自吸大麻(weed)被熏晕(out)。
A*8
39 楼
我觉得还是他的笑话写得不够好,还有一个原因就是他的发音有的时候也影响理解。尤
其这种现场的笑话其实是不应该推敲的,就是一个基于常识的直接反应。如果我们分析
了这么多还不能够大成一致,只能说明要么这个笑话写得不好,要么我们都想得太多了。
那几个州针对移民(尤
【在 n*********a 的大作中提到】
: 最正宗的Bible其实是拉丁语的,Jesus = Iesus,中世纪圣经只有拉丁语的,较正式的
: 英语圣经是斯图亚特王朝以后才定下来的。
: 拉丁语已经没人说的,西班牙语是现代日常用的语言里最接近古拉丁语的。Latino,呵
: 呵。
: 这地方也是双关,一方面提示Jesus的出身(Jesus肯定是alien),一方面讽刺Arizona那几个州针对移民(尤
: 其是Latino移民)的苛法。
其这种现场的笑话其实是不应该推敲的,就是一个基于常识的直接反应。如果我们分析
了这么多还不能够大成一致,只能说明要么这个笑话写得不好,要么我们都想得太多了。
那几个州针对移民(尤
【在 n*********a 的大作中提到】
: 最正宗的Bible其实是拉丁语的,Jesus = Iesus,中世纪圣经只有拉丁语的,较正式的
: 英语圣经是斯图亚特王朝以后才定下来的。
: 拉丁语已经没人说的,西班牙语是现代日常用的语言里最接近古拉丁语的。Latino,呵
: 呵。
: 这地方也是双关,一方面提示Jesus的出身(Jesus肯定是alien),一方面讽刺Arizona那几个州针对移民(尤
: 其是Latino移民)的苛法。
相关阅读
关于建立新华人组织的两点建议 (转载)"Protesters Pound ABC Studios, Call for Jimmy Kimmel's Firing"为什么ABC声明是11月8日(动过手脚)老将们倒行逆施只能被海外华人彻底唾弃 (转载)大战了一上午,手都累了 (转载)我共的最新大杀器 (转载)看了买买提的帖子我想游行游到阳痿洗洗睡吧,鸡毛发表的压根就不是种族主义言论~【ABC玩花样越描越黑】声明日期倒签:不诚信不合法(附完整截图证据)一个哥儿们写的反驳,我觉得觉得不错,大家可以参考一下总算看清美国猪的真面目了捐款一共才3000多?一家贫困线的百分之一? (转载)Boston Metro已经登Kimmel广告了(有照片)我觉得游行可以常态化,每个周六都进行,每次游行5000米 (转载)Kimmel事件还是暂时让他平息吧,但是尊严的斗争不会停止Re: 如何让老美体会我们的感受-欢迎提议 (转载)唉,又是一个悲惨的外*, 连命都丢了【⊙﹏⊙b】无名女尸惊人说话游行后感受, 在美国的大陆人长相衣着真丑。 (转载)这次汉奸老将外F大游行的一个生动比喻