[转载]关于婚姻的幽默和名言（中英文) (转载)# Joke - 肚皮舞运动
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【 以下文字转载自 Family 讨论区 】
发信人: neohorizon (horizon), 信区: Family
标 题: [转载]关于婚姻的幽默和名言（中英文)
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Sat Mar 22 14:53:15 2014, 美东)
婚姻幽默（中英文)
"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her."
如果有人搶了你的老婆，最好的報復就是讓他留著。
Lee Majors (美國電影明星---李.梅 朁/span>)
"After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can'
t face each other, but still they stay together."
結婚後夫妻就像一個硬幣的兩面；他們不但不能面對面，而且還分不開。
Al Gore (克林頓當總統時的副總統---阿 朁/span> 戈 朁/span>)
"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a
bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
不管怎麼樣，還是結婚的好。如果你找到一個好太太，你會很幸福。假如你找到一個壞
的，你會成為一個哲學家。
Socrates (古希臘的思想家、哲學家，教育家---蘇格拉底)
"Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them."
女人給了男人做大事的激勵和靈感，同時又給了男人完成大事的阻力。
Mike Tyson (前美國拳王---麥克.泰森)
"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What
does a woman want?"
有一個好問題我總是沒答案；那就是“女人到底想要什麼？”
George Clooney (美國著名演員---喬治 克魯尼)
"I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me."
我跟我太太才說了幾個字，她卻回了我一段長篇大論。
Bill Clinton (美國前總統----比 朁/span> 克林頓)
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a
restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and
dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
有人問我婚姻能維持這麼長的秘密。我們每個星期去餐館兩次。晚餐有 T光，音樂，和
跳舞。她星期二去，我星期五去。
George W. Bush (美國前總統----小布希)
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
我不怕恐怖分子。我已經結婚兩年了。
Rudy Giuliani (前紐約市911事件時的市長---魯迪.朱利安尼)
"Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up."
有兩個秘密能讓你的婚姻圓滿：
1. 當你錯時，馬上認錯。
2. 當你對時，閉上嘴巴。
Shaquille O’Neal (美國籃球巨星---沙奎 朁/span>.奧尼 朁/span>)
"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once..."
最有效的方法記住你太太的生日就是先忘掉一次。
Kobe Bryant (美國籃球巨星----科比 布萊恩特)
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
我太太和我都高高興興的過了二十年，然後我們相遇了。
Alec Baldwin (美國電影明星----亞歷克 鮑德溫)
"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."一個好太太當她是
錯的時候總是原諒她的丈夫。
Barack Obama (美國總統----歐巴馬)
"Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy."
婚姻是唯一與敵人睡在一張床上的戰 帯Ⅻ/span>
Tommy Lee (美國老牌電影明星----湯米.李)
"First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
有個人驕傲的說 “我的太太是天使！”
另一個 到的人說 “你真幸撸∥业倪钪 br />
Jimmy Kimmel (美國著名電視節目主持
人----吉米.金米 朁/span>)
“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first?”
Husband replies, “That's the reason why the world's a mess today, because a
lady went first!”
“親愛的，女士優先又怎麼了？”丈夫回答說，”今天世界亂成這個樣子就是因為有個
女的先來了！“
David Letterman (美國電視著名脫口秀主持人----大衛.萊特曼)
SEND THIS TO FRIENDS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH......AND TO THOSE LADIES WITH
A SENSE OF HUMOUR WHO CAN HANDLE IT!!!!!!!
請轉送給你的朋友，以及那些有幽默感的女士，讓他們開懷一笑!!!
发信人: neohorizon (horizon), 信区: Family
标 题: [转载]关于婚姻的幽默和名言（中英文)
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Sat Mar 22 14:53:15 2014, 美东)
婚姻幽默（中英文)
"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her."
如果有人搶了你的老婆，最好的報復就是讓他留著。
Lee Majors (美國電影明星---李.梅 朁/span>)
"After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can'
t face each other, but still they stay together."
結婚後夫妻就像一個硬幣的兩面；他們不但不能面對面，而且還分不開。
Al Gore (克林頓當總統時的副總統---阿 朁/span> 戈 朁/span>)
"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a
bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
不管怎麼樣，還是結婚的好。如果你找到一個好太太，你會很幸福。假如你找到一個壞
的，你會成為一個哲學家。
Socrates (古希臘的思想家、哲學家，教育家---蘇格拉底)
"Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them."
女人給了男人做大事的激勵和靈感，同時又給了男人完成大事的阻力。
Mike Tyson (前美國拳王---麥克.泰森)
"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What
does a woman want?"
有一個好問題我總是沒答案；那就是“女人到底想要什麼？”
George Clooney (美國著名演員---喬治 克魯尼)
"I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me."
我跟我太太才說了幾個字，她卻回了我一段長篇大論。
Bill Clinton (美國前總統----比 朁/span> 克林頓)
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a
restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and
dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
有人問我婚姻能維持這麼長的秘密。我們每個星期去餐館兩次。晚餐有 T光，音樂，和
跳舞。她星期二去，我星期五去。
George W. Bush (美國前總統----小布希)
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
我不怕恐怖分子。我已經結婚兩年了。
Rudy Giuliani (前紐約市911事件時的市長---魯迪.朱利安尼)
"Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up."
有兩個秘密能讓你的婚姻圓滿：
1. 當你錯時，馬上認錯。
2. 當你對時，閉上嘴巴。
Shaquille O’Neal (美國籃球巨星---沙奎 朁/span>.奧尼 朁/span>)
"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once..."
最有效的方法記住你太太的生日就是先忘掉一次。
Kobe Bryant (美國籃球巨星----科比 布萊恩特)
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
我太太和我都高高興興的過了二十年，然後我們相遇了。
Alec Baldwin (美國電影明星----亞歷克 鮑德溫)
"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."一個好太太當她是
錯的時候總是原諒她的丈夫。
Barack Obama (美國總統----歐巴馬)
"Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy."
婚姻是唯一與敵人睡在一張床上的戰 帯Ⅻ/span>
Tommy Lee (美國老牌電影明星----湯米.李)
"First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
有個人驕傲的說 “我的太太是天使！”
另一個 到的人說 “你真幸撸∥业倪钪 br />
Jimmy Kimmel (美國著名電視節目主持
人----吉米.金米 朁/span>)
“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first?”
Husband replies, “That's the reason why the world's a mess today, because a
lady went first!”
“親愛的，女士優先又怎麼了？”丈夫回答說，”今天世界亂成這個樣子就是因為有個
女的先來了！“
David Letterman (美國電視著名脫口秀主持人----大衛.萊特曼)
SEND THIS TO FRIENDS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH......AND TO THOSE LADIES WITH
A SENSE OF HUMOUR WHO CAN HANDLE IT!!!!!!!
請轉送給你的朋友，以及那些有幽默感的女士，讓他們開懷一笑!!!