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邀请女儿的男友一家来家吃饭
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邀请女儿的男友一家来家吃饭# Living
G*G
1 楼
Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
Christmas' EVE.
She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
s*d
2 楼
I have 2 daughters and I will just invite everyone out to a restaurant.
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s*d
3 楼
是个烂坑吧?我居然还很幼稚地跳了.
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G*G
4 楼
That's ok. But you cannot avoid my question.
Please try your best to answer my question.
How can you deal with the issue about American manners when
you join the activity of your kids, if you lack of them?

【在 s*****d 的大作中提到】
: I have 2 daughters and I will just invite everyone out to a restaurant.
avatar
G*G
5 楼
do you really think so?
This article is not my type. But it makes me think a while.
I don't know how our kids think of this issue.
Yesterday, in the family forum, a lady who is still single, complained of
her parents' bad manners, for example, her mother always forgot to close the
door of restroom. She asked us, " should I send my parents home?"
(see more for detail at
http://www.mitbbs.com/mitbbs_article_t.php?board=Family&gid=329
As parents, if you lacked of American manner, how will you talk about this
with
your kids who may eventually accept American manner?
Do you feel sad, if they are embarrassed like the girl in the article?

【在 s*****d 的大作中提到】
: 是个烂坑吧?我居然还很幼稚地跳了.
avatar
q*i
6 楼
所以说平时就要多给孩子讲中国历史文化，增强民族独立性和自豪感，这样才不至于在
美国多元文化中自卑迷失。这一点印度人就做得比较好，我们大学里每年都有南亚文化
节，包括出生在美国的ABI小姑娘都自豪自信地穿着莎丽载歌载舞。一个自尊自信（不
是盲目自大）的民族才会赢得别人的尊重。
avatar
q*i
7 楼

the
去洗手间不知道关门和父亲夹菜给女儿不是一回事吧？前者礼貌修养，不是什么
American manner，也不是说只有美国人才知道去洗手间关门。
文中的父亲如果用公用筷夹菜给女儿就没什么问题。这种普通自然的父爱如果让女儿感
到不自在，我就无语了。

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: do you really think so?
: This article is not my type. But it makes me think a while.
: I don't know how our kids think of this issue.
: Yesterday, in the family forum, a lady who is still single, complained of
: her parents' bad manners, for example, her mother always forgot to close the
: door of restroom. She asked us, " should I send my parents home?"
: (see more for detail at
: http://www.mitbbs.com/mitbbs_article_t.php?board=Family&gid=329
: As parents, if you lacked of American manner, how will you talk about this
: with
avatar
G*G
8 楼
eating in a restaurant for Christmas Eve?
Do you think it suitable for the girl's boyfriend?
Even if eating in a restaurant, there might be other embarrassed situation.
For example, will you plucked a piece of food for your daughter to show
you love her very much?
In China, daughers would feel they are like queens if their parents do so to
them.

【在 s*****d 的大作中提到】
: I have 2 daughters and I will just invite everyone out to a restaurant.
avatar
G*G
9 楼
yes, you are right.
Some students, when they read the article, would said this is about cultural
shock or cultural difference.
But I do not completely agree on it.
It is more about sense of cultural inferiority 文化自卑感.
Some Chinese culture are actually very superior. For example, eating fish
head has a lot of advantages in: 1) not wasted, 2) nutritious.
But...one time when I bought fish with head from Costco and was asked by a
man "do you eat the head?" I felt offensed.

【在 q***i 的大作中提到】
: 所以说平时就要多给孩子讲中国历史文化，增强民族独立性和自豪感，这样才不至于在
: 美国多元文化中自卑迷失。这一点印度人就做得比较好，我们大学里每年都有南亚文化
: 节，包括出生在美国的ABI小姑娘都自豪自信地穿着莎丽载歌载舞。一个自尊自信（不
: 是盲目自大）的民族才会赢得别人的尊重。
avatar
m*y
10 楼
呵呵，雄性动物嘛，精虫上脑时，啥都不管了。何况teenager，能到二垒三垒，就算晚
饭吃的是屎，都想不起来了。
在Safe sex上抓紧就行了。
avatar
w*7
11 楼
不是烂坑，就是那家有14岁女儿的傻缺。屁大点儿找个男朋友是分分秒秒分手的事，父
母一起吃饭简直是扯淡。
avatar
G*G
12 楼
right. the post in the family forum I mentionded is just an example
of generation gap. but even with blood relationship, sometimes conflicts
between parents and kids occur.
If my parents came to vist me and forgot to close the door of restroom, I
wouldn't complain of it at all. Because I can understand them living in the
50s-60s century. But the lady seemed not to understand her parents at all.
The article didn't mention the father used public chopsticks or not. But my
parents always plucked food for me using their own chopsticks. I never felt
uncomfortable.
Should parents use public chopsticks for this?
Should parents pluck food for their daugher in public area, with public
chopsticks or without public chopsticks?

【在 q***i 的大作中提到】
:
: the
: 去洗手间不知道关门和父亲夹菜给女儿不是一回事吧？前者礼貌修养，不是什么
: American manner，也不是说只有美国人才知道去洗手间关门。
: 文中的父亲如果用公用筷夹菜给女儿就没什么问题。这种普通自然的父爱如果让女儿感
: 到不自在，我就无语了。
avatar
G*G
13 楼
age here is another issue. I directly coped it from the article without any
change. I was shocked by the number, 14, too.
I don't know why the author wanted to write her story in this way.
anyway, what if 19 years old daughter? Inviting for Chrismas Eve dinner or
common dinner, or not?
This is not a hole. As I said before, I pointed this out because it made me
think of somethings.

【在 w***7 的大作中提到】
: 不是烂坑，就是那家有14岁女儿的傻缺。屁大点儿找个男朋友是分分秒秒分手的事，父
: 母一起吃饭简直是扯淡。
avatar
l*a
14 楼
为啥中国人请老外在中国人家里吃中国饭，要按照american manner行事？尼玛你们都
他娘的给老子用筷子吃，谁吃的慢谁夹菜掉桌上就是谁缺少manner
自卑能不能有个节制，把孩子也教成自卑自恨的四不像

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
q*i
15 楼

the
my
felt
是这样，我也不会觉得父母用自己的筷子夹菜给女儿有什么问题，大家都是相似年代走
过来的，没那么多讲究。
不过如果是公共场合有外人在的话最好还是配几副公用筷好些。记得以前有笑话说国家
主席李先念招待撒切尔夫人来华国宴时用自己的筷子给客人夹菜，嘴里还说“你家吃，
你家吃。。。”

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: right. the post in the family forum I mentionded is just an example
: of generation gap. but even with blood relationship, sometimes conflicts
: between parents and kids occur.
: If my parents came to vist me and forgot to close the door of restroom, I
: wouldn't complain of it at all. Because I can understand them living in the
: 50s-60s century. But the lady seemed not to understand her parents at all.
: The article didn't mention the father used public chopsticks or not. But my
: parents always plucked food for me using their own chopsticks. I never felt
: uncomfortable.
: Should parents use public chopsticks for this?
avatar
G*G
16 楼
this is what I thought too. but things are very complicated.
This artile I read sounds a true story of a Chinese American girl.

【在 l**a 的大作中提到】
: 为啥中国人请老外在中国人家里吃中国饭，要按照american manner行事？尼玛你们都
: 他娘的给老子用筷子吃，谁吃的慢谁夹菜掉桌上就是谁缺少manner
: 自卑能不能有个节制，把孩子也教成自卑自恨的四不像
:
: American
avatar
q*i
17 楼

说的没错，这对父母教育孩子有问题。

【在 w***7 的大作中提到】
: 不是烂坑，就是那家有14岁女儿的傻缺。屁大点儿找个男朋友是分分秒秒分手的事，父
: 母一起吃饭简直是扯淡。
avatar
l*a
18 楼
我去超市买了百叶，结账的黑大妈看着百叶，做出要呕吐状，我乐呵呵的跟她说，你没
吃过这个吧，这东西做熟了很好吃的，你不懂，说的黑大妈哑口无言
你至于这么自卑吗，人家问你鱼头要不要吃，你就觉得被冒犯了，说明你自己心里就觉
得吃鱼头是个低等的行为，否则为啥你觉得被冒犯？
比如，如果有个认为你是nerd的人问你，did you attend Yale University？尽管你从
他的口气里可以听出来他在调侃你是nerd，但是因为你心里觉得上名校很厉害很值得骄
傲，你不但不会觉得被冒犯，还会觉得对方是个傻帽，但是到吃鱼头的问题上，你就觉
得自己被人戳中痛处了？

cultural

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: yes, you are right.
: Some students, when they read the article, would said this is about cultural
: shock or cultural difference.
: But I do not completely agree on it.
: It is more about sense of cultural inferiority 文化自卑感.
: Some Chinese culture are actually very superior. For example, eating fish
: head has a lot of advantages in: 1) not wasted, 2) nutritious.
: But...one time when I bought fish with head from Costco and was asked by a
: man "do you eat the head?" I felt offensed.
avatar
l*a
19 楼
什么article，链接

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: this is what I thought too. but things are very complicated.
: This artile I read sounds a true story of a Chinese American girl.
avatar
G*G
20 楼
http://pan.baidu.com/s/1pJv2HqN
It is from American textbook. My friend's daughter's textbook.

【在 l**a 的大作中提到】
: 什么article，链接
avatar
b*x
21 楼
完全同意.

【在 l**a 的大作中提到】
: 我去超市买了百叶，结账的黑大妈看着百叶，做出要呕吐状，我乐呵呵的跟她说，你没
: 吃过这个吧，这东西做熟了很好吃的，你不懂，说的黑大妈哑口无言
: 你至于这么自卑吗，人家问你鱼头要不要吃，你就觉得被冒犯了，说明你自己心里就觉
: 得吃鱼头是个低等的行为，否则为啥你觉得被冒犯？
: 比如，如果有个认为你是nerd的人问你，did you attend Yale University？尽管你从
: 他的口气里可以听出来他在调侃你是nerd，但是因为你心里觉得上名校很厉害很值得骄
: 傲，你不但不会觉得被冒犯，还会觉得对方是个傻帽，但是到吃鱼头的问题上，你就觉
: 得自己被人戳中痛处了？
:
: cultural
avatar
G*G
22 楼
that's right. I agree too.
there is a proverb, saying "if you like a house, you will like the crow on
the roof of it."
If you hate something, you will hate their strength.

【在 b*****x 的大作中提到】
: 完全同意.
avatar
G*G
23 楼
We need to discriminate the cultural shock and sense of cultural inferiority.
文化差异 and 文化自卑

【在 b*****x 的大作中提到】
: 完全同意.
avatar
l*o
24 楼
没看懂，哪里有问题？

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
G*G
25 楼
actually it is not a problem. It's just a feeling.
If your daugher feels sad/embarrassed just because you are Chinese and do
things in Chinese manner, how can you comfort her?

【在 l*****o 的大作中提到】
: 没看懂，哪里有问题？
:
: American
avatar
P*D
26 楼
首先我觉得女孩父母就不该请男孩来吃饭。
如果是大一点的成年孩子，就会懂得要居中调停，要事先主动跟文化有差异的另一方解
释一下。老美没有中文媒体上宣传的那么闭塞无知，他们也知道世界上有不同的文化不
同的习俗，也能尊重或忍受。
我一次跟一个老美熟人吃饭，就聊到table manner。我跟他说，在中国有些地方的习俗
是作客时吃饭吃得越响越有礼貌，因为吃得响被理解为吃得香。老美设想了下，表示他
从小所受教育造成的条件反射会觉得恶心，不过如果事先知道，也能忍下去。
我认为这是个沟通问题。
avatar
l*o
27 楼
这个从小教育就有问题吧，为什么会因为自己父母是chinese而sad/embarrassed? ??

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: actually it is not a problem. It's just a feeling.
: If your daugher feels sad/embarrassed just because you are Chinese and do
: things in Chinese manner, how can you comfort her?
avatar
y*f
28 楼
电影宾虚里有类似的情节，许多美国人都看过。我跟美国人提到这个情节，都表示可以
接受。。。。

【在 P****D 的大作中提到】
: 首先我觉得女孩父母就不该请男孩来吃饭。
: 如果是大一点的成年孩子，就会懂得要居中调停，要事先主动跟文化有差异的另一方解
: 释一下。老美没有中文媒体上宣传的那么闭塞无知，他们也知道世界上有不同的文化不
: 同的习俗，也能尊重或忍受。
: 我一次跟一个老美熟人吃饭，就聊到table manner。我跟他说，在中国有些地方的习俗
: 是作客时吃饭吃得越响越有礼貌，因为吃得响被理解为吃得香。老美设想了下，表示他
: 从小所受教育造成的条件反射会觉得恶心，不过如果事先知道，也能忍下去。
: 我认为这是个沟通问题。
avatar
y*f
29 楼
譚恩美写的，难怪。

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
G*G
30 楼
ask kids.
They won't say or show. But deep in their mind, they sometimes have
complicated
feeling, which parents can feel.



【在 l*****o 的大作中提到】
: 这个从小教育就有问题吧，为什么会因为自己父母是chinese而sad/embarrassed? ??
avatar
G*G
31 楼
You know her?
Is she famous?
Who is she?

【在 y*f 的大作中提到】
: 譚恩美写的，难怪。
:
: American
avatar
y*f
32 楼
喜福会不知道？

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: You know her?
: Is she famous?
: Who is she?
avatar
D*I
33 楼
这是教育自己小孩的问题
需要这么自狠么？你去老印家吃饭老印会以用手抓饼吃饭为羞耻么？

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
G*G
34 楼
no, but I knew it just now.

【在 y*f 的大作中提到】
: 喜福会不知道？
avatar
G*G
35 楼
Your knowledge is abundant.

【在 y*f 的大作中提到】
: 喜福会不知道？
avatar
m*0
36 楼
我觉得，人和人之间，有一个尊重的问题。
既然是邀请女儿的男朋友一家，出于对女儿的尊重，起码也要和她商量一下吧。要不要
邀请，什么时候邀请，电话邀请还是自己说。做什么菜，家里还是外面。对方有什么喜
好，有什么过敏，不吃的东西。我觉得，这是爱的体贴。
己所不欲，勿施于人。父母希望子女如何对待自己，那么也应该同样对待子女。父母不
应该觉得，自己想怎样就怎样，然后孩子必须接受，还要欣然接受。可是，反过来，父
母对于孩子的“坏习惯”，是否也能够欣然接受？如果说，父母觉得自己看不惯的可以
对孩子提出要求“改”，为什么孩子就必须看得惯父母？
一家人需要包容。父母包容子女，子女包容父母。包容不表示，对于一切不合理，可以
改进的，都不说，当看不到。如果说，连最真实的话都不能说，这种感情算好吗？父母
难道需要子女，非常虚伪的对待自己，不跟自己说真心话？如果父母希望子女对自己说
真心话，至少自己要有雅量吧。当子女说了真心话，父母既可暴跳如雷，上纲上线，你
改变的不是子女对你的看法和态度，而是子女以后再也不跟你说自己真实的想法。子女
看到父母，不能说出心里的想法，甚至都不能在脸上表露出来，这是怎样的压抑？
avatar
j*i
37 楼
好不容易搞上个老美女婿，全家光荣，国内亲友也有面子

【在 w***7 的大作中提到】
: 不是烂坑，就是那家有14岁女儿的傻缺。屁大点儿找个男朋友是分分秒秒分手的事，父
: 母一起吃饭简直是扯淡。
avatar
j*i
38 楼
哈哈。以前一个东欧同事跟我谈起美国人擤鼻涕的事，说全世界国家就美国有这种风俗
，恨不得把肠子肚子都喷出来。但是现在也能忍下去

【在 P****D 的大作中提到】
: 首先我觉得女孩父母就不该请男孩来吃饭。
: 如果是大一点的成年孩子，就会懂得要居中调停，要事先主动跟文化有差异的另一方解
: 释一下。老美没有中文媒体上宣传的那么闭塞无知，他们也知道世界上有不同的文化不
: 同的习俗，也能尊重或忍受。
: 我一次跟一个老美熟人吃饭，就聊到table manner。我跟他说，在中国有些地方的习俗
: 是作客时吃饭吃得越响越有礼貌，因为吃得响被理解为吃得香。老美设想了下，表示他
: 从小所受教育造成的条件反射会觉得恶心，不过如果事先知道，也能忍下去。
: 我认为这是个沟通问题。
avatar
p*t
39 楼
If the girl's house is much bigger than the boy's, do you think the boy's
family will feel extremely embarrassed for it?
There are so many scenarios that people feel ashamed. Just get used to it.

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
G*G
40 楼
Conflict exists anywhere.
Tolerating sometimes is easier said than done.
anyway, this is a big topic. We can keep talking about it til we die
and still couldn't find the answer to it.

【在 m******0 的大作中提到】
: 我觉得，人和人之间，有一个尊重的问题。
: 既然是邀请女儿的男朋友一家，出于对女儿的尊重，起码也要和她商量一下吧。要不要
: 邀请，什么时候邀请，电话邀请还是自己说。做什么菜，家里还是外面。对方有什么喜
: 好，有什么过敏，不吃的东西。我觉得，这是爱的体贴。
: 己所不欲，勿施于人。父母希望子女如何对待自己，那么也应该同样对待子女。父母不
: 应该觉得，自己想怎样就怎样，然后孩子必须接受，还要欣然接受。可是，反过来，父
: 母对于孩子的“坏习惯”，是否也能够欣然接受？如果说，父母觉得自己看不惯的可以
: 对孩子提出要求“改”，为什么孩子就必须看得惯父母？
: 一家人需要包容。父母包容子女，子女包容父母。包容不表示，对于一切不合理，可以
: 改进的，都不说，当看不到。如果说，连最真实的话都不能说，这种感情算好吗？父母
avatar
t*0
41 楼
她的父母居然不为自己女儿外发感到羞耻？

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
k*4
42 楼
搞不懂为什么总有人英语写的这么烂还喜欢全英文回帖。
avatar
t*0
43 楼
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。
但这不是重点。

【在 q***i 的大作中提到】
:
: 说的没错，这对父母教育孩子有问题。
avatar
G*G
44 楼
it seems you have something to say but...

【在 t**********0 的大作中提到】
: 但这不是重点。
: 但这不是重点。
: 但这不是重点。
: 但这不是重点。
: 但这不是重点。
: 但这不是重点。
: 但这不是重点。
: 但这不是重点。
: 但这不是重点。
: 但这不是重点。
avatar
w*m
45 楼
美国是最宽容的民族，对别家的民族文化风俗最感兴趣，
难看，有啥难看的，对老美来说，这是大开眼界
我们家家都爱啃鱼头
我们家家吃饭端着碗
我们家家上厕所不关门
avatar
a*o
46 楼
hehe... 14 years old?
I will do whatever to rid that boy.... ;)

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
G*G
47 楼
I think it is not propriate to post here this kind of message.
I may withdraw it and repost it in family forum or somewhere else.

【在 a******o 的大作中提到】
: hehe... 14 years old?
: I will do whatever to rid that boy.... ;)
:
: American
avatar
N*M
48 楼
I wouldn't cause embarrassment for the daughter, because I will fillet the
fish and then cook it, every one will get a piece.

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
G*G
49 楼
filleting is good way to avoid it.
But what we are talking about here
actually is,
1) do we really need to avoid this kind of embarrassment or not?
2) if such an embarrassment occurs, how can we comfort our kids,
how can we teach/parent them?
Filleting is actually not the core of the question.
You can avoid it today by filleting.
Can you avoid all of them?
Can you guarantee that there is no an embarrassment happening in the future?

【在 N*******M 的大作中提到】
: I wouldn't cause embarrassment for the daughter, because I will fillet the
: fish and then cook it, every one will get a piece.
:
: American
avatar
p*t
50 楼
I already gave you an answer in a previous post. It seems that you didn't
get the point.
The scenario discussed is a tiny embarrassment, no matter how you exaggerate
it. If such an accidental misbehavior (which is actually not) causes the
girl feel no where to go, what is going to happen if her family is much
poorer, or she is less beautiful than some? Kill herself? If she has all
upper hands on her side, should the boy kill himself instead?
The parents should teach the kids to get used to different situations. We'll
try our best to avoid the embarrassment and comfort the girl, but also let
her know there is no perfect world.

future?

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: filleting is good way to avoid it.
: But what we are talking about here
: actually is,
: 1) do we really need to avoid this kind of embarrassment or not?
: 2) if such an embarrassment occurs, how can we comfort our kids,
: how can we teach/parent them?
: Filleting is actually not the core of the question.
: You can avoid it today by filleting.
: Can you avoid all of them?
: Can you guarantee that there is no an embarrassment happening in the future?
avatar
N*M
51 楼
Totally agree.

exaggerate
ll
let

【在 p********t 的大作中提到】
: I already gave you an answer in a previous post. It seems that you didn't
: get the point.
: The scenario discussed is a tiny embarrassment, no matter how you exaggerate
: it. If such an accidental misbehavior (which is actually not) causes the
: girl feel no where to go, what is going to happen if her family is much
: poorer, or she is less beautiful than some? Kill herself? If she has all
: upper hands on her side, should the boy kill himself instead?
: The parents should teach the kids to get used to different situations. We'll
: try our best to avoid the embarrassment and comfort the girl, but also let
: her know there is no perfect world.
avatar
N*M
52 楼
The art of communication.
I don't agree the use of word 'avoid' here.
Serving fillet fish is a much better option than serving the whole fish in a
formal dinner. Even if you do serve a whole fish, then make sure each
person gets his/her own fish. So do we always focus on 'avoid' or seek
better alternatives?

future?

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: filleting is good way to avoid it.
: But what we are talking about here
: actually is,
: 1) do we really need to avoid this kind of embarrassment or not?
: 2) if such an embarrassment occurs, how can we comfort our kids,
: how can we teach/parent them?
: Filleting is actually not the core of the question.
: You can avoid it today by filleting.
: Can you avoid all of them?
: Can you guarantee that there is no an embarrassment happening in the future?
avatar
p*t
53 楼
She tends to exaggerate. common knowledge.
her first book joy luck club is ok. other books are crap at best.

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: You know her?
: Is she famous?
: Who is she?
avatar
p*t
54 楼
亲耳听外f的女性朋友说f过白人就不想再搞国人
外f真很无语

【在 t**********0 的大作中提到】
: 她的父母居然不为自己女儿外发感到羞耻？
:
: American
avatar
h*c
55 楼
为什么embarrassed?
中国人在家邀请吃中国饭 多好 为什么lack of America manner?
爸妈做女儿最喜欢吃的 多好的父母
想了半天。没觉得父母有什么不对 .
如果boy家是一中国人 大家觉得有什么不对么？，
那boy 家是美国人 为什么就不一样呢?

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
c*s
56 楼
什么乱七八糟的帖子，臆想一种情况，然后开始自恨，明显有病吗。
avatar
a*a
57 楼
我不觉得这对父母做的有什么大错
若是我的女儿将来找老外做男朋友（她也爱吃鱼眼睛），我认为根本没必要遮掩，爱吃
鱼眼睛怎么了？
这对父母没有反对，没有高调的破坏，而是主动请他们过来吃饭，我觉得挺好的。未必
他们就觉得我们非常怪异，老外见识也没那么短。
avatar
a*a
58 楼
这个是肯定的，我觉得父母一定一定会跟女儿商量，弄什么菜，哪天请，要不要请之类的
你从哪里知道父母没告诉女儿呢？没跟女儿商量呢？

【在 m******0 的大作中提到】
: 我觉得，人和人之间，有一个尊重的问题。
: 既然是邀请女儿的男朋友一家，出于对女儿的尊重，起码也要和她商量一下吧。要不要
: 邀请，什么时候邀请，电话邀请还是自己说。做什么菜，家里还是外面。对方有什么喜
: 好，有什么过敏，不吃的东西。我觉得，这是爱的体贴。
: 己所不欲，勿施于人。父母希望子女如何对待自己，那么也应该同样对待子女。父母不
: 应该觉得，自己想怎样就怎样，然后孩子必须接受，还要欣然接受。可是，反过来，父
: 母对于孩子的“坏习惯”，是否也能够欣然接受？如果说，父母觉得自己看不惯的可以
: 对孩子提出要求“改”，为什么孩子就必须看得惯父母？
: 一家人需要包容。父母包容子女，子女包容父母。包容不表示，对于一切不合理，可以
: 改进的，都不说，当看不到。如果说，连最真实的话都不能说，这种感情算好吗？父母
avatar
N*s
59 楼
14岁懂个屁还邀请对方家长。象楼上有人说的safe sex 就行了。

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
G*G
60 楼
how about other food, such as celery?
Do we need to give each person his or her own celery?
If we need to separate all food, why not just open a buffet dinner?

a

【在 N*******M 的大作中提到】
: The art of communication.
: I don't agree the use of word 'avoid' here.
: Serving fillet fish is a much better option than serving the whole fish in a
: formal dinner. Even if you do serve a whole fish, then make sure each
: person gets his/her own fish. So do we always focus on 'avoid' or seek
: better alternatives?
:
: future?
avatar
G*G
61 楼
same feeling.
She said she got shocked by her mother telling her that her mother had
three daughers before she moved to the U.S.
Do you believe that?

【在 p*****t 的大作中提到】
: She tends to exaggerate. common knowledge.
: her first book joy luck club is ok. other books are crap at best.
avatar
G*G
62 楼
good questions. I don't like this article.
But this will be a problem when our kids grow up.
How to properly educate them about this is urgently needed.
As I mentioned before, this is not cultural difference. It is sense of
cultural inferiority. 文化自卑感
A lot of Chinese have this problem today.

【在 h******c 的大作中提到】
: 为什么embarrassed?
: 中国人在家邀请吃中国饭 多好 为什么lack of America manner?
: 爸妈做女儿最喜欢吃的 多好的父母
: 想了半天。没觉得父母有什么不对 .
: 如果boy家是一中国人 大家觉得有什么不对么？，
: 那boy 家是美国人 为什么就不一样呢?
:
: American
avatar
G*G
63 楼
The first generation's knowledge about American culture is nearly zero.
They actually learn it from their kids.
One of my friends even asked his daughter to teacher him English everyday.

类的

【在 a*****a 的大作中提到】
: 这个是肯定的，我觉得父母一定一定会跟女儿商量，弄什么菜，哪天请，要不要请之类的
: 你从哪里知道父母没告诉女儿呢？没跟女儿商量呢？
avatar
y*u
64 楼
是。

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: good questions. I don't like this article.
: But this will be a problem when our kids grow up.
: How to properly educate them about this is urgently needed.
: As I mentioned before, this is not cultural difference. It is sense of
: cultural inferiority. 文化自卑感
: A lot of Chinese have this problem today.
avatar
p*9
65 楼
这整个事件父母EQ太低了：父母要负责全部，毕竟那只是14岁的小女孩
1）这么个小情侣首先就不要请
2）既然请了征求女儿意见，做点客人喜欢吃的，按美式也可以。要给女儿吃鱼眼睛随
便哪天都可以。不用吓着客人。等熟悉了以后，吃鸡屁股都没问题。布什因为他们是白
人就这么做，而是待人接物的EQ
3）这么低EQ父母，在国外养出个自恨的女儿，不奇怪。怎么安慰也没用，长期教育的
问题。
avatar
G*G
66 楼
this article which is published in Elementary textbook
may be a faked one.
the author is notorous of making up stories.

【在 p**********9 的大作中提到】
: 这整个事件父母EQ太低了：父母要负责全部，毕竟那只是14岁的小女孩
: 1）这么个小情侣首先就不要请
: 2）既然请了征求女儿意见，做点客人喜欢吃的，按美式也可以。要给女儿吃鱼眼睛随
: 便哪天都可以。不用吓着客人。等熟悉了以后，吃鸡屁股都没问题。布什因为他们是白
: 人就这么做，而是待人接物的EQ
: 3）这么低EQ父母，在国外养出个自恨的女儿，不奇怪。怎么安慰也没用，长期教育的
: 问题。
avatar
M*e
67 楼
14岁小孩呀呀找什么男朋友，还外f，父母教育绝对有问题
avatar
z*i
68 楼
想起来以前的一个电影或电视剧 农村的父亲送儿子到城里学堂 每周去给儿子送钱或吃
的 但儿子很怕同学见到父亲。
养这样的孩子 很寒心 不如老老实实在家种田算了。

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
l*n
69 楼
请美国人吃饭就别弄啥鱼眼睛啦，美国人不会吐鱼刺，万一噎着了怎么办？家长在美国
住了这么多年说实话对美国人应该有点基本的了解，请客就做点美式中餐，事先跟孩子
交流一下，别让小孩子觉得不自然。
不过说实话这都不算个事，所有的teenager都有觉得自己父母embarrassing的时候，家
长好好教育疏通。
avatar
B*y
70 楼
Christmas eve 对于美国人来说，是家庭团聚big event.一般会与祖父母，或者兄弟姐
妹几个家庭晚餐。
去一家素未晤面，还是处于puppy love的女朋友家吃饭?
真能作啊！
如果是真的，两家也算门当户对，一样傻x的家庭了。有什么好尴尬滴。
avatar
g*k
71 楼
这么多回帖，没有发现楼主一直用的英文，而且口气不友好。自卑自恨的厉害。

【在 l**a 的大作中提到】
: 为啥中国人请老外在中国人家里吃中国饭，要按照american manner行事？尼玛你们都
: 他娘的给老子用筷子吃，谁吃的慢谁夹菜掉桌上就是谁缺少manner
: 自卑能不能有个节制，把孩子也教成自卑自恨的四不像
:
: American
avatar
c*d
72 楼
用筷子吃没问题，用自己的筷子给别人夹菜，好像也不是什么“中国风俗”，就是乡巴
佬因为自己到别人家不敢放开胆量想吃什么吃什么，就以为别人到自己家也这样。
有点教养的人家，不强迫别人吃自己认为好吃的东西。人家自己不去夹，可能说明人家
不喜欢。
吃饭时嘴唇不能吧嗒吧嗒地出声，这也不是“美国风俗”吧？
难道你们家里可以像猪吃食一样，满屋子一片“吧嗒”声？

【在 l**a 的大作中提到】
: 为啥中国人请老外在中国人家里吃中国饭，要按照american manner行事？尼玛你们都
: 他娘的给老子用筷子吃，谁吃的慢谁夹菜掉桌上就是谁缺少manner
: 自卑能不能有个节制，把孩子也教成自卑自恨的四不像
:
: American
avatar
G*G
73 楼
I am wondering which parts of my messages made you think this way.

【在 g*****k 的大作中提到】
: 这么多回帖，没有发现楼主一直用的英文，而且口气不友好。自卑自恨的厉害。
avatar
H*r
74 楼
从小就外 F

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
u*x
75 楼
要是我女儿敢找老外 老子打断她的腿！ 一边打一边说 教你tm的老讲英文！

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
a*8
76 楼
我会从小教育我孩子有宽阔的心胸接受多元化的生活习惯。就算在美国，也可以有自己
家里的传统，在家里为什么一定要american manner？而且我不觉得你的问题是问题，
如果孩子觉得父母夹菜让人尴尬，那他／她自己就应该从平时做起，也就不会在客人来
是出这档事情。

the

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: do you really think so?
: This article is not my type. But it makes me think a while.
: I don't know how our kids think of this issue.
: Yesterday, in the family forum, a lady who is still single, complained of
: her parents' bad manners, for example, her mother always forgot to close the
: door of restroom. She asked us, " should I send my parents home?"
: (see more for detail at
: http://www.mitbbs.com/mitbbs_article_t.php?board=Family&gid=329
: As parents, if you lacked of American manner, how will you talk about this
: with
avatar
p*u
77 楼
没有american manner就没有，什么大不了的？这点自信都没有养什么孩子？美国家长
还没有中国manner啊!

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
a*8
78 楼
就是这个理！尊重各自的文化习俗生活方式。

【在 p****u 的大作中提到】
: 没有american manner就没有，什么大不了的？这点自信都没有养什么孩子？美国家长
: 还没有中国manner啊!
:
: American
avatar
m*t
79 楼
Amy Tan的短篇小说Fish Cheeks，里面用第一人称讲自己当时喜欢上了白人牧师的儿子
（在现实中，Tan的父亲自己是牧师）。
故事里来吃饭的不仅有男孩子一家，还有女孩自己的亲戚们，作者用夸张的方式描述了
亲戚们喧哗着站起来从桌子另一遍夹菜，嘬筷子，大声打嗝等各种所谓Chinese
manners...看了一眼Amy Tan的biography，其中说Tan的母亲"was the daughter of an
upper-class Shanghai family"，好奇她如果能看到这篇小说的话，对这些Chinese
manners是怎样的看法
avatar
m*t
80 楼
当然，还有一个可能的解释就是女孩的父母和亲戚们都是故意的...
avatar
c*d
81 楼
Amy Tan
avatar
d*n
82 楼
都家里了，当然按家里的习俗了。爱来不来。
外面随你泡吧怎么的，家里就是要吃皮蛋吃凤爪。

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
n*s
83 楼
Now, this is a smart answer.

【在 m*****t 的大作中提到】
: 当然，还有一个可能的解释就是女孩的父母和亲戚们都是故意的...
avatar
r*a
84 楼
中国人在中文论坛跟中国人讲话，在别人都用中文的情况下，为什么一定要用英文回复
呢？中文键盘不好使？不是judge你，只是表示不理解。
不知到你看过Meeting the Parents没有，即便都是白人，南方和北方的亲家之间见面
，也是各种尴尬。我想很多teens，甚至成年人都为自己的家长感到难堪过。个人觉得
最好的心态是接受差异，用友善的幽默感让大家对事情一笑而过。这个对十几岁的小孩
可能有点难，但是家长应该可以起到表率作用。很多时候，小题大做可能让孩子把小小
的不愉快放大成心灵阴影。
至于你说的文化自卑感，我似乎能从你的字里行间读到。也难怪，我们中国人从小接受
的教育，就是西方各方面是先进的，中国是落后的。可是人性是相通的，人和人之间，
文化和文化之间，有区别，但是并不是高低上下的区别，懂得尊重，才不会自卑，才不
会拜高踩低。

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: I am wondering which parts of my messages made you think this way.
avatar
l*s
85 楼
根本不会请
男方父母请才正常
avatar
b*n
86 楼


【在 l**a 的大作中提到】
: 为啥中国人请老外在中国人家里吃中国饭，要按照american manner行事？尼玛你们都
: 他娘的给老子用筷子吃，谁吃的慢谁夹菜掉桌上就是谁缺少manner
: 自卑能不能有个节制，把孩子也教成自卑自恨的四不像
:
: American
avatar
b*n
87 楼
女儿是个傻逼， 父母不教
avatar
N*M
88 楼
建议大家都看一看美国喜剧《人人都爱雷蒙德》Everybody Loves Raymond.
里面尽是些家庭之间的尴尬.

【在 r****a 的大作中提到】
: 中国人在中文论坛跟中国人讲话，在别人都用中文的情况下，为什么一定要用英文回复
: 呢？中文键盘不好使？不是judge你，只是表示不理解。
: 不知到你看过Meeting the Parents没有，即便都是白人，南方和北方的亲家之间见面
: ，也是各种尴尬。我想很多teens，甚至成年人都为自己的家长感到难堪过。个人觉得
: 最好的心态是接受差异，用友善的幽默感让大家对事情一笑而过。这个对十几岁的小孩
: 可能有点难，但是家长应该可以起到表率作用。很多时候，小题大做可能让孩子把小小
: 的不愉快放大成心灵阴影。
: 至于你说的文化自卑感，我似乎能从你的字里行间读到。也难怪，我们中国人从小接受
: 的教育，就是西方各方面是先进的，中国是落后的。可是人性是相通的，人和人之间，
: 文化和文化之间，有区别，但是并不是高低上下的区别，懂得尊重，才不会自卑，才不
avatar
T*c
89 楼
forget about 'comfort' her, u already suck and failed as a parent if ur
little girl think so

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: actually it is not a problem. It's just a feeling.
: If your daugher feels sad/embarrassed just because you are Chinese and do
: things in Chinese manner, how can you comfort her?
avatar
l*t
90 楼
原来伱会中文

inferiority.

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: We need to discriminate the cultural shock and sense of cultural inferiority.
: 文化差异 and 文化自卑
avatar
x*u
91 楼
一个鱼头就压出藏在皮袍下的小你来，歪好歪好
avatar
x*i
92 楼
拜托先查一下lack和lack of的用法。实在看不下去了。

That's ok. But you cannot avoid my question.Please try your best to answer
my question.H........

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: That's ok. But you cannot avoid my question.
: Please try your best to answer my question.
: How can you deal with the issue about American manners when
: you join the activity of your kids, if you lack of them?
avatar
r*n
93 楼
一看题目就知道对方一定是高贵的外族人。为了验证，进来读了前面几句，果然...

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
l*t
94 楼
Can you delete the "of" following the "lack" in your post先？读起来真别扭。

American
★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 7.8

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
s*g
95 楼
It is actually a Jewish tradition :)

to

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: eating in a restaurant for Christmas Eve?
: Do you think it suitable for the girl's boyfriend?
: Even if eating in a restaurant, there might be other embarrassed situation.
: For example, will you plucked a piece of food for your daughter to show
: you love her very much?
: In China, daughers would feel they are like queens if their parents do so to
: them.
avatar
s*n
96 楼
如果女儿已经是适婚年龄，她父母在这件事上没做错。但从根源上看，她父母对女儿的
教育不够，让女儿对父母的家庭文化和母国文化产生了某种意义上的歧视。这种对文化
乃至血缘的歧视，会造成孩子自卑的心态，对以后的发展不利。极端的例子就是加州的
那个混血变态。
女儿可以接受美国manner，但更要学会尊重他人的文化，特别是自己父母文化中的
manner。从这件事看，女儿缺乏对父母文化的认同和尊重，比较自卑，做父母的应该及
时补课，做相关的教育。
另一个角度看，如果女儿男友和他家庭不知道尊重其他文化的manner，特别是女友家庭
的文化的话，这种人也是不会尊重他女儿的，早分早好。
自然，如果女儿还小的话，Safe Sex或No Sex也是很重要的教育。

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
t*r
97 楼
It does not a matter what you do.
It becomes a matter if you cannot accept yourself.
It is your house, and she is your daughter. Just do it proudly and encourage
everybody to do it too. Even your daughter feels shame, it is her choice,
and she is living her life. Should you change yourself for your daughter?
Yes, but you shouldn't change yourself for a wrong reason. Parents should
drive, not just serve.
It is ok to have differences even in the same family, just do your
Chinese way proudly with dignity. You have no one to cheat but yourself.
avatar
j*e
98 楼
严重同意。感觉楼主就是到这儿练英语来了。编个故事，制造个话题。
故事最奇怪的地方是邀请14岁女儿的小男友一家来过圣诞夜，在老美眼里这绝对比吃鱼
眼睛，吃鱼嘴，夹菜等等等还要怪异。别说圣诞夜，就是双方父母碰头吃个饭都很古怪。
吃鱼眼睛的老中过圣诞夜绝对是装逼。装逼的老中不会在老外面前吃鱼眼睛。
女儿知道家里吃鱼眼睛还敢请男友来家里，同时不给爸妈打预防针，绝对是个傻叉。

【在 k********4 的大作中提到】
: 搞不懂为什么总有人英语写的这么烂还喜欢全英文回帖。
avatar
y*f
99 楼
这是个作家写的小说。

怪。

【在 j*******e 的大作中提到】
: 严重同意。感觉楼主就是到这儿练英语来了。编个故事，制造个话题。
: 故事最奇怪的地方是邀请14岁女儿的小男友一家来过圣诞夜，在老美眼里这绝对比吃鱼
: 眼睛，吃鱼嘴，夹菜等等等还要怪异。别说圣诞夜，就是双方父母碰头吃个饭都很古怪。
: 吃鱼眼睛的老中过圣诞夜绝对是装逼。装逼的老中不会在老外面前吃鱼眼睛。
: 女儿知道家里吃鱼眼睛还敢请男友来家里，同时不给爸妈打预防针，绝对是个傻叉。
avatar
G*U
100 楼
14岁请吃个什么饭？
难道不是给他看下gun collection 就行了。

American

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
e*8
101 楼
同意，johncrane。我觉得LZ根本就不懂美国。美国人啊，吃快餐的，吃甜食的。有条
件的美国人，全世界旅游，吃鱼眼会吓到他们，呵呵。他们又不是欧洲贵族，或者是新
英格兰地区的某些故意模仿欧洲贵族的美国家庭除外。建议LZ多看些美剧，各种各样的
肥皂剧，这样比一厢情愿的猜美国人的心思要实在得多。

怪。

【在 j*******e 的大作中提到】
: 严重同意。感觉楼主就是到这儿练英语来了。编个故事，制造个话题。
: 故事最奇怪的地方是邀请14岁女儿的小男友一家来过圣诞夜，在老美眼里这绝对比吃鱼
: 眼睛，吃鱼嘴，夹菜等等等还要怪异。别说圣诞夜，就是双方父母碰头吃个饭都很古怪。
: 吃鱼眼睛的老中过圣诞夜绝对是装逼。装逼的老中不会在老外面前吃鱼眼睛。
: 女儿知道家里吃鱼眼睛还敢请男友来家里，同时不给爸妈打预防针，绝对是个傻叉。
avatar
s*1
102 楼
首先不会支持女儿这么早谈恋爱。
其次只会邀请男生，不会邀请全家。
再次会尽量做简单的美式中餐，地道中餐做起来很麻烦。
再再次如果女儿为我的任何行为感到难堪，我觉得是自己没有教育好。文化的差异没有
什么难堪的，女儿应该帮忙解释，而不是急着感到难堪。其实我没有看出这父亲哪里做
的很不对的。
avatar
S*t
103 楼
总结的不错， 能奇葩的在中文居家论坛练英语的，和故事里的奇葩父母基本属于差不
多水平的。
不论文化背景：这得多没脑的父母，会邀请14岁女儿的男朋友全家来家里过平安夜。是
不是再要加套情趣内衣给女儿做圣诞礼物。
论文化背景：这得多无脑的人，邀请老美来家里吃饭吃蒸全鱼？怎么不上清蒸甲鱼，那
东西大补。
总结：这是一对无脑夫妻，生长在这种家庭的确很悲哀。
最后加一点自己的想法：应该教育小孩对自己华人身份骄傲，我们有悠久的历史，太多
的优秀杰出的文化习惯，当然也有不少陋习。做父母本来就是一个重新学习，再次自我
发展提升的过程，作为父母一个很重要的责任就是怎样去芜存菁地把我们优良的文化传
统和人生感悟传承给下一代，让自己的儿女自信自立的成长。每次我听到某些家长沾沾
自喜地说：我们在家不说中文，小孩子中文说不好，我其实深深地为他们的悲哀。在这
种环境中长大的孩子大多会为自己华人的身份感到自卑，而造成这种局面的就是父母。

怪。

【在 j*******e 的大作中提到】
: 严重同意。感觉楼主就是到这儿练英语来了。编个故事，制造个话题。
: 故事最奇怪的地方是邀请14岁女儿的小男友一家来过圣诞夜，在老美眼里这绝对比吃鱼
: 眼睛，吃鱼嘴，夹菜等等等还要怪异。别说圣诞夜，就是双方父母碰头吃个饭都很古怪。
: 吃鱼眼睛的老中过圣诞夜绝对是装逼。装逼的老中不会在老外面前吃鱼眼睛。
: 女儿知道家里吃鱼眼睛还敢请男友来家里，同时不给爸妈打预防针，绝对是个傻叉。
avatar
a*t
104 楼
ABC多自恨是真的
自恨也就算了,还特别看不得国内过来的同龄第一代.总以为自己和白人主流走得更近,
有种莫名其妙的心理优越感

【在 q***i 的大作中提到】
: 所以说平时就要多给孩子讲中国历史文化，增强民族独立性和自豪感，这样才不至于在
: 美国多元文化中自卑迷失。这一点印度人就做得比较好，我们大学里每年都有南亚文化
: 节，包括出生在美国的ABI小姑娘都自豪自信地穿着莎丽载歌载舞。一个自尊自信（不
: 是盲目自大）的民族才会赢得别人的尊重。
avatar
a*t
105 楼
同意, 全世界稀奇古怪的吃食多了. 英国人自以为高大上, 苏格兰人爱尔兰人还都吃羊
内脏的
日本人吃生鱼本来也不见得有多文明的说,而且还不卫生. 现在日式寿司店照样遍布北美

【在 e*****8 的大作中提到】
: 同意，johncrane。我觉得LZ根本就不懂美国。美国人啊，吃快餐的，吃甜食的。有条
: 件的美国人，全世界旅游，吃鱼眼会吓到他们，呵呵。他们又不是欧洲贵族，或者是新
: 英格兰地区的某些故意模仿欧洲贵族的美国家庭除外。建议LZ多看些美剧，各种各样的
: 肥皂剧，这样比一厢情愿的猜美国人的心思要实在得多。
:
: 怪。
avatar
a*t
106 楼
难怪,ABC女自卑自恨的典型啊

【在 y*f 的大作中提到】
: 譚恩美写的，难怪。
:
: American
avatar
a*t
107 楼
ABC女十个九外F,父母等不及女儿18岁就恨不得把女儿往白人怀里送呢

【在 t**********0 的大作中提到】
: 她的父母居然不为自己女儿外发感到羞耻？
:
: American
avatar
k*9
108 楼
整个贴子乱七八糟，可能我英文不太好，没看懂LZ想表达的意思。
这根本就是个坑！！！
avatar
a*t
109 楼
看到现在这个回复最全最靠谱

【在 p**********9 的大作中提到】
: 这整个事件父母EQ太低了：父母要负责全部，毕竟那只是14岁的小女孩
: 1）这么个小情侣首先就不要请
: 2）既然请了征求女儿意见，做点客人喜欢吃的，按美式也可以。要给女儿吃鱼眼睛随
: 便哪天都可以。不用吓着客人。等熟悉了以后，吃鸡屁股都没问题。布什因为他们是白
: 人就这么做，而是待人接物的EQ
: 3）这么低EQ父母，在国外养出个自恨的女儿，不奇怪。怎么安慰也没用，长期教育的
: 问题。
avatar
a*t
110 楼
嘿嘿,下次和我不感冒的白人一起吃饭,我就摆这种manner,吓死他们

【在 m*****t 的大作中提到】
: 当然，还有一个可能的解释就是女孩的父母和亲戚们都是故意的...
avatar
w*g
111 楼
用共用筷子的话我觉得没什么问题。用父母自己的筷子的话我也不能接受。
于其说是文化问题，我觉得更是个卫生问题。不用公筷/公勺是老中的一个陋习。
至于楼主的问题我无解。

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
z*n
112 楼
中式吃饭用公筷啥的本身就打破了吃饭的流畅性，且一会就混乱了，经常有人用完公筷
接着用公筷吃饭。发现后伸舌头偷偷放回去
中餐这种吃饭房市本身就不适合洁癖的

【在 w***g 的大作中提到】
: 用共用筷子的话我觉得没什么问题。用父母自己的筷子的话我也不能接受。
: 于其说是文化问题，我觉得更是个卫生问题。不用公筷/公勺是老中的一个陋习。
: 至于楼主的问题我无解。
avatar
L*s
113 楼
明显是外F啊...
avatar
T*9
114 楼
口水下来了。。。。。

【在 d****n 的大作中提到】
: 都家里了，当然按家里的习俗了。爱来不来。
: 外面随你泡吧怎么的，家里就是要吃皮蛋吃凤爪。
:
: American
avatar
S*l
115 楼
这是一本书，一个有inferior complex的女ABC写的书里的一节。
属于teenage时代的insecurity, 那个年纪，哪个不是觉得自己家人家庭自己的一切都
有丢人之处的。这个又加上了面对强势文化的自卑。
有点没有对自己identity的自信。
好像后来的意思是终于接受自己了，反省这一段自恨来着。

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
S*l
117 楼
基本上是编的。
avatar
m*8
118 楼
用筷子在嘴里祸拢半天然后给人去夹菜。
实在是比较恶心。中国文化最糟粕的地方。还有一群举着“自恨”大旗的祥林嫂哭天抢
地满地打滚。
中国文化要想流传下去不被抛弃，必须要隐恶扬善。这么简单的道里都不懂。
中国人里面也有劣质的一批。打着中国文化的旗号，为自己的恶习辩解。
神马鸡巴叫自恨？NMB明治革新是不是自恨？戊戌变法也可以算是自恨？
最终也躲不过进化的碾压。

【在 w***g 的大作中提到】
: 用共用筷子的话我觉得没什么问题。用父母自己的筷子的话我也不能接受。
: 于其说是文化问题，我觉得更是个卫生问题。不用公筷/公勺是老中的一个陋习。
: 至于楼主的问题我无解。
avatar
G*G
119 楼
Is it not allowed within family members?
how about kissing?

【在 m********8 的大作中提到】
: 用筷子在嘴里祸拢半天然后给人去夹菜。
: 实在是比较恶心。中国文化最糟粕的地方。还有一群举着“自恨”大旗的祥林嫂哭天抢
: 地满地打滚。
: 中国文化要想流传下去不被抛弃，必须要隐恶扬善。这么简单的道里都不懂。
: 中国人里面也有劣质的一批。打着中国文化的旗号，为自己的恶习辩解。
: 神马鸡巴叫自恨？NMB明治革新是不是自恨？戊戌变法也可以算是自恨？
: 最终也躲不过进化的碾压。
avatar
G*G
120 楼
She really faked the whole story.
check the bio page at the link, saying
"By the time Amy was fifteen, her father and older brother had died of brain
tumors."

【在 S*******l 的大作中提到】
: Amy Tan 的 fish cheeks.
: http://redroom.com/member/amy-tan/writing/fish-cheeks
: 好像出书了。
avatar
m*8
121 楼
父亲对女儿嘴对嘴的kissing?
Can you find somethings less disgusting?

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Is it not allowed within family members?
: how about kissing?
avatar
G*G
122 楼
come on. do you know what is disgusting and what is not disgusting?
What is wrong if a father uses his chopstick to take some food for his
daughters, sons or wife? We can kiss each other in a family, but we cannot
take food for each other using our own chopsticks..

【在 m********8 的大作中提到】
: 父亲对女儿嘴对嘴的kissing?
: Can you find somethings less disgusting?
avatar
m*8
123 楼
这家白人真恶心

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: come on. do you know what is disgusting and what is not disgusting?
: What is wrong if a father uses his chopstick to take some food for his
: daughters, sons or wife? We can kiss each other in a family, but we cannot
: take food for each other using our own chopsticks..
avatar
i*k
124 楼
用这么生僻的单词？

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: I think it is not propriate to post here this kind of message.
: I may withdraw it and repost it in family forum or somewhere else.
avatar
i*k
125 楼
是美国课本里的你认为是真实的ABC女孩经历的事情？
不觉得有多大代表性真实性。看看中国课本里写的美国的故事有多大代表性真实性？

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: http://pan.baidu.com/s/1pJv2HqN
: It is from American textbook. My friend's daughter's textbook.
avatar
i*k
126 楼
是啊，所以觉得真实性不大。

【在 B**********y 的大作中提到】
: Christmas eve 对于美国人来说，是家庭团聚big event.一般会与祖父母，或者兄弟姐
: 妹几个家庭晚餐。
: 去一家素未晤面，还是处于puppy love的女朋友家吃饭?
: 真能作啊！
: 如果是真的，两家也算门当户对，一样傻x的家庭了。有什么好尴尬滴。
avatar
i*k
127 楼
嗯，刚看几行的第一感觉，女孩爸爸想拆散他们，或者让男孩自己撤退。

【在 m*****t 的大作中提到】
: 当然，还有一个可能的解释就是女孩的父母和亲戚们都是故意的...
avatar
i*k
128 楼
LZ你第一页还说认为是真实的故事，现在又说可能是编的。是大家的讨论让你想法改变
了？
发信人: GoooG (pumpkin), 信区: Living
标 题: Re: 邀请女儿的男友一家来家吃饭
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Tue Jun 17 11:20:18 2014, 美东)
this is what I thought too. but things are very complicated.
This artile I read sounds a true story of a Chinese American girl.

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: this article which is published in Elementary textbook
: may be a faked one.
: the author is notorous of making up stories.
avatar
i*k
129 楼
LZ你拿这么一篇看着很假的文章让大家讨论文化差异顺应美国礼仪，本身已经说明问题
了。

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: I am wondering which parts of my messages made you think this way.
avatar
s*1
130 楼
说得好。

【在 r****a 的大作中提到】
: 中国人在中文论坛跟中国人讲话，在别人都用中文的情况下，为什么一定要用英文回复
: 呢？中文键盘不好使？不是judge你，只是表示不理解。
: 不知到你看过Meeting the Parents没有，即便都是白人，南方和北方的亲家之间见面
: ，也是各种尴尬。我想很多teens，甚至成年人都为自己的家长感到难堪过。个人觉得
: 最好的心态是接受差异，用友善的幽默感让大家对事情一笑而过。这个对十几岁的小孩
: 可能有点难，但是家长应该可以起到表率作用。很多时候，小题大做可能让孩子把小小
: 的不愉快放大成心灵阴影。
: 至于你说的文化自卑感，我似乎能从你的字里行间读到。也难怪，我们中国人从小接受
: 的教育，就是西方各方面是先进的，中国是落后的。可是人性是相通的，人和人之间，
: 文化和文化之间，有区别，但是并不是高低上下的区别，懂得尊重，才不会自卑，才不
avatar
l*r
131 楼
我很好奇是哪里的中国人会愿意吃得很响。。。

★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 8.2.2

【在 P****D 的大作中提到】
: 首先我觉得女孩父母就不该请男孩来吃饭。
: 如果是大一点的成年孩子，就会懂得要居中调停，要事先主动跟文化有差异的另一方解
: 释一下。老美没有中文媒体上宣传的那么闭塞无知，他们也知道世界上有不同的文化不
: 同的习俗，也能尊重或忍受。
: 我一次跟一个老美熟人吃饭，就聊到table manner。我跟他说，在中国有些地方的习俗
: 是作客时吃饭吃得越响越有礼貌，因为吃得响被理解为吃得香。老美设想了下，表示他
: 从小所受教育造成的条件反射会觉得恶心，不过如果事先知道，也能忍下去。
: 我认为这是个沟通问题。
avatar
G*G
132 楼
yes. that's right. My English is not good. After we talked further, I
changed.

【在 i*****k 的大作中提到】
: LZ你第一页还说认为是真实的故事，现在又说可能是编的。是大家的讨论让你想法改变
: 了？
: 发信人: GoooG (pumpkin), 信区: Living
: 标 题: Re: 邀请女儿的男友一家来家吃饭
: 发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Tue Jun 17 11:20:18 2014, 美东)
: this is what I thought too. but things are very complicated.
: This artile I read sounds a true story of a Chinese American girl.
avatar
o*l
133 楼
英文的帖子俺一概跳过。

【在 r****a 的大作中提到】
: 中国人在中文论坛跟中国人讲话，在别人都用中文的情况下，为什么一定要用英文回复
: 呢？中文键盘不好使？不是judge你，只是表示不理解。
: 不知到你看过Meeting the Parents没有，即便都是白人，南方和北方的亲家之间见面
: ，也是各种尴尬。我想很多teens，甚至成年人都为自己的家长感到难堪过。个人觉得
: 最好的心态是接受差异，用友善的幽默感让大家对事情一笑而过。这个对十几岁的小孩
: 可能有点难，但是家长应该可以起到表率作用。很多时候，小题大做可能让孩子把小小
: 的不愉快放大成心灵阴影。
: 至于你说的文化自卑感，我似乎能从你的字里行间读到。也难怪，我们中国人从小接受
: 的教育，就是西方各方面是先进的，中国是落后的。可是人性是相通的，人和人之间，
: 文化和文化之间，有区别，但是并不是高低上下的区别，懂得尊重，才不会自卑，才不
avatar
N*M
134 楼
现在中国国宴上，中国领导人还会给客人搛菜吗？ 吃饱后还会打响嗝并介绍说是中国
传统吗？
avatar
y*u
135 楼
用公筷儿。菜量少，吃半饱，不响嗝。会帮客人剔牙。

【在 N*******M 的大作中提到】
: 现在中国国宴上，中国领导人还会给客人搛菜吗？ 吃饱后还会打响嗝并介绍说是中国
: 传统吗？
avatar
z*n
136 楼
这些不算啥，最牛的是，毛主席，邓书记和外国人讲话都一边讲一边吐痰，所以以前接
见国外领导人座位旁边都有个痰盂

【在 N*******M 的大作中提到】
: 现在中国国宴上，中国领导人还会给客人搛菜吗？ 吃饱后还会打响嗝并介绍说是中国
: 传统吗？
avatar
N*M
137 楼
我问的是现在， 2013年， 2014年.

【在 z*********n 的大作中提到】
: 这些不算啥，最牛的是，毛主席，邓书记和外国人讲话都一边讲一边吐痰，所以以前接
: 见国外领导人座位旁边都有个痰盂
avatar
a*7
138 楼
It's Chinese manner, deal with it, SB
avatar
a*7
139 楼
你能仔细看看百度网盘里的textbook跟你打的字，你能说without any change？

any
me

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: age here is another issue. I directly coped it from the article without any
: change. I was shocked by the number, 14, too.
: I don't know why the author wanted to write her story in this way.
: anyway, what if 19 years old daughter? Inviting for Chrismas Eve dinner or
: common dinner, or not?
: This is not a hole. As I said before, I pointed this out because it made me
: think of somethings.
avatar
a*7
140 楼
原文里似乎是说她跟minister的儿子谈恋爱，圣诞节父母请minister一家来吃晚饭
没觉得是她父母请她男朋友一家来啊
说不定他父母根本不知道他们是男女朋友啊

【在 m******0 的大作中提到】
: 我觉得，人和人之间，有一个尊重的问题。
: 既然是邀请女儿的男朋友一家，出于对女儿的尊重，起码也要和她商量一下吧。要不要
: 邀请，什么时候邀请，电话邀请还是自己说。做什么菜，家里还是外面。对方有什么喜
: 好，有什么过敏，不吃的东西。我觉得，这是爱的体贴。
: 己所不欲，勿施于人。父母希望子女如何对待自己，那么也应该同样对待子女。父母不
: 应该觉得，自己想怎样就怎样，然后孩子必须接受，还要欣然接受。可是，反过来，父
: 母对于孩子的“坏习惯”，是否也能够欣然接受？如果说，父母觉得自己看不惯的可以
: 对孩子提出要求“改”，为什么孩子就必须看得惯父母？
: 一家人需要包容。父母包容子女，子女包容父母。包容不表示，对于一切不合理，可以
: 改进的，都不说，当看不到。如果说，连最真实的话都不能说，这种感情算好吗？父母
avatar
a*7
141 楼
而且篡改了原文
还自诩without any change，以为大家都懒得看原文么？
自己跟原作者编故事有的一拼啊

【在 g*****k 的大作中提到】
: 这么多回帖，没有发现楼主一直用的英文，而且口气不友好。自卑自恨的厉害。
avatar
d*y
142 楼
这个英文，不可能是美国教科书里面出来的。

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: Today, I read an article. A daughter at age 14 fell in love with an American
: boy. Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit for
: Christmas' EVE.
: She became embarrassed. Her parents lacked of American manner.
: Her mother cooked her favorite food -- steamed crappie for the daughter.
: During dinner, her father poked his chopsticks just below the fish eye and
: plucked out the soft meat. "Amy, your favorite," father said, offering her
: the tender fish cheek. But the girl just wanted to disappear.
: If you were her parents at that moments, what could you do to comfort her?
avatar
G*G
143 楼
the minister family is Amy's boyfriend's family.
My version: "Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit
for Christmas' EVE"
I didn't make any change because the boy's family IS the minister family,
which is shown in the original novel,
"my parents had invited the minister's family over for Christmas Eve dinner."

【在 a******7 的大作中提到】
: 原文里似乎是说她跟minister的儿子谈恋爱，圣诞节父母请minister一家来吃晚饭
: 没觉得是她父母请她男朋友一家来啊
: 说不定他父母根本不知道他们是男女朋友啊
avatar
a*7
144 楼
你标题是“女儿的男友一家”
原文是“minister's family”
角度完全不一样

visit
dinner."

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: the minister family is Amy's boyfriend's family.
: My version: "Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit
: for Christmas' EVE"
: I didn't make any change because the boy's family IS the minister family,
: which is shown in the original novel,
: "my parents had invited the minister's family over for Christmas Eve dinner."
avatar
a*7
145 楼
你这个不是英语的语感问题
是人类的语感问题

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: the minister family is Amy's boyfriend's family.
: My version: "Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit
: for Christmas' EVE"
: I didn't make any change because the boy's family IS the minister family,
: which is shown in the original novel,
: "my parents had invited the minister's family over for Christmas Eve dinner."
avatar
a*7
146 楼
呵呵

main

【在 G***G 的大作中提到】
: the minister family is Amy's boyfriend's family.
: My version: "Her Chinese parents decided to invite the boy's family to visit
: for Christmas' EVE"
: I didn't make any change because the boy's family IS the minister family,
: which is shown in the original novel,
: "my parents had invited the minister's family over for Christmas Eve dinner."
avatar
m*t
147 楼
没忍住再掺合一句，原文开头：
I fell in love with the minister's son the winter I turned fourteen. He was
not Chinese, but as white as Mary in the manger. For Christmas I prayed
for this blond-haired boy, Robert, and a slim new American nose.
When I found out that my parents had invited the minister's family over for
Christmas Eve dinner, I cried. ...
看第一段最后一句，故事里的白人男生不是女孩的男朋友，没有和她谈恋爱，只能说是
一个暗恋对象而已
另外顺便放篇批判Amy Tan成名作《喜福会》以及其电影的文，感兴趣的人可以看看，
略有点意思（用Amy Tan+orientalism随便搜索出来的，呵呵）：
http://lum3838.blogspot.com/2010/05/orientalism-in-joy-luck-clu
avatar
G*G
148 楼
the author who posted the comments is a beautiful girl.

was
for

【在 m*****t 的大作中提到】
: 没忍住再掺合一句，原文开头：
: I fell in love with the minister's son the winter I turned fourteen. He was
: not Chinese, but as white as Mary in the manger. For Christmas I prayed
: for this blond-haired boy, Robert, and a slim new American nose.
: When I found out that my parents had invited the minister's family over for
: Christmas Eve dinner, I cried. ...
: 看第一段最后一句，故事里的白人男生不是女孩的男朋友，没有和她谈恋爱，只能说是
: 一个暗恋对象而已
: 另外顺便放篇批判Amy Tan成名作《喜福会》以及其电影的文，感兴趣的人可以看看，
: 略有点意思（用Amy Tan+orientalism随便搜索出来的，呵呵）：
avatar
a*u
149 楼
赞

exaggerate
★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 8.7

【在 p********t 的大作中提到】
: I already gave you an answer in a previous post. It seems that you didn't
: get the point.
: The scenario discussed is a tiny embarrassment, no matter how you exaggerate
: it. If such an accidental misbehavior (which is actually not) causes the
: girl feel no where to go, what is going to happen if her family is much
: poorer, or she is less beautiful than some? Kill herself? If she has all
: upper hands on her side, should the boy kill himself instead?
: The parents should teach the kids to get used to different situations. We'll
: try our best to avoid the embarrassment and comfort the girl, but also let
: her know there is no perfect world.
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