撑腰 Vs 放手# Parenting - 为人父母
x*r
1 楼
孩子总会在学校磕磕碰碰，有冲突有矛盾的。
但是，什么时候家长要给孩子撑腰， 什么时候应该放手让孩子自己处理呢？
这个问题，我始终不知道怎么回答.
昨天, 我回到家, 10岁的儿子就告诉我, 他在学校和同学吵架了.老师将会通知家长.
(到底是因为老师告诉家长他才告诉我, 还是他本来就会告诉我呢? 无从探寻.)
总之我让他复述了一遍事情的经过. 大概是同班一个一直欺负他的女生昨天又tease他，
老师当时不在， 所以他就写了个条子准备告诉老师，结果有好事者告诉了该女生，以
至于该女生冲过来嚷嚷他mean, teacher's pet....他也嚷嚷回去了...这是老师进来了
, 看到他们在吵,就批评了儿子. 儿子觉得特别不公平。
后妈我是从来没有去给孩子撑过腰。一般出现这种情况，包括上次我看到另外一个女生
不停地打儿子， 然后儿子还手， 一直都是觉得应该先批评自己的孩子的。
但是看到版上大家讨论过一定要给孩子撑腰。 我就决定给老师发封信问一下，表示关
注。
结果刚打开信箱,就发现老师的email已经到了：
Today was a difficult day at school for 儿子. He was quite upset when I
returned to the classroom after a meeting, and I found that he was crying in
the hall. The adults at school spoke with the students involved, and we
are addressing this and will get back to you soon. 儿子 seemed to leave
school much calmer after he spoke with me and Mrs. Gates for a half hour. Be
assured that we are addressing this, and will get back to you soon.
虽然我很心疼“that he was crying in the hall“，看完老师的信，我好像又没脾气
了。唉， 我就是个软包子：（
当时我是给老师回信了：
Dear Mrs. xxx:
Thanks so much for bring this up to me. I really appreciate the open
communication from you.
I have heard the gist of 儿子's version of this incident and was impressed
with the procedure school staff took to ensure truthful and complete
recreation of the incident.
As a mom, I care a lot about 儿子's experience at school, especially
around handling conflict. I trust you will be tough but fair with this
situation, while I am willing to be further involved when needed.
Regards,
xxx
老师后来就没再回信.现在也没消息,今天是half day, 学校放学了。
你们说我的回信是不是太软弱了？ 我现在是不是应该跟进一下？或者说,我该怎么给孩
子撑腰呢?
但是，什么时候家长要给孩子撑腰， 什么时候应该放手让孩子自己处理呢？
这个问题，我始终不知道怎么回答.
昨天, 我回到家, 10岁的儿子就告诉我, 他在学校和同学吵架了.老师将会通知家长.
(到底是因为老师告诉家长他才告诉我, 还是他本来就会告诉我呢? 无从探寻.)
总之我让他复述了一遍事情的经过. 大概是同班一个一直欺负他的女生昨天又tease他，
老师当时不在， 所以他就写了个条子准备告诉老师，结果有好事者告诉了该女生，以
至于该女生冲过来嚷嚷他mean, teacher's pet....他也嚷嚷回去了...这是老师进来了
, 看到他们在吵,就批评了儿子. 儿子觉得特别不公平。
后妈我是从来没有去给孩子撑过腰。一般出现这种情况，包括上次我看到另外一个女生
不停地打儿子， 然后儿子还手， 一直都是觉得应该先批评自己的孩子的。
但是看到版上大家讨论过一定要给孩子撑腰。 我就决定给老师发封信问一下，表示关
注。
结果刚打开信箱,就发现老师的email已经到了：
Today was a difficult day at school for 儿子. He was quite upset when I
returned to the classroom after a meeting, and I found that he was crying in
the hall. The adults at school spoke with the students involved, and we
are addressing this and will get back to you soon. 儿子 seemed to leave
school much calmer after he spoke with me and Mrs. Gates for a half hour. Be
assured that we are addressing this, and will get back to you soon.
虽然我很心疼“that he was crying in the hall“，看完老师的信，我好像又没脾气
了。唉， 我就是个软包子：（
当时我是给老师回信了：
Dear Mrs. xxx:
Thanks so much for bring this up to me. I really appreciate the open
communication from you.
I have heard the gist of 儿子's version of this incident and was impressed
with the procedure school staff took to ensure truthful and complete
recreation of the incident.
As a mom, I care a lot about 儿子's experience at school, especially
around handling conflict. I trust you will be tough but fair with this
situation, while I am willing to be further involved when needed.
Regards,
xxx
老师后来就没再回信.现在也没消息,今天是half day, 学校放学了。
你们说我的回信是不是太软弱了？ 我现在是不是应该跟进一下？或者说,我该怎么给孩
子撑腰呢?
