b*s
2 楼
顿姐啊,你理解错了我说的“原谅”的含义。
“原谅”绝对不是赞成或支持别人的狗血行为,而是不再让这些行为一直困扰你或影响
你的情绪。你原谅不原谅,与他们无关,只和你自己有关。
你的愤怒我可以理解,但每一次责备他们或者在网上写这些经历,你就relive一次那些
狗血情节,受伤害最大的人还是你。我们这些看客在旁边说几句你前夫/John/熟丸子是
混账,对你其实没有任何实际的帮助,还加强你的受害者心态。而victm mentality 是
一种很无奈的心态,因为你会觉得自己对局面没有控制力,但事已至此,发生的事已经
发生了,如果总是想着为什么老天偏会下冰雹打烂我的窗子,还不如把旧窗子扔到垃圾
堆里去,去搞扇更坚固的新窗子。
为什么要给那些人,那些事这么大的影响力,事情过去多年还让你花费时间和精力去责
备他们?如果你因为这些人和事,从此一直愤世嫉俗,反而因此错过良缘,那不是非常
不值得?除非你抱着“只要搞臭他们,我不介意耽误自己"的心态,那我要说,你太太太
抬举那些人了。
我觉得顿姐是个有才有貌而且骨子里还满传统和地道的女人(不会为卡为钱结婚),因
为这些年的遭遇而变得有些偏激。把这些事情放下真的是放过你自己,而不是他们。天
网恢恢,疏而不漏。做了亏心事的人终究会有报应。你自己过得好最重要,何苦把自己
和ex/John/熟丸子绑一块儿?
“原谅”绝对不是赞成或支持别人的狗血行为,而是不再让这些行为一直困扰你或影响
你的情绪。你原谅不原谅,与他们无关,只和你自己有关。
你的愤怒我可以理解,但每一次责备他们或者在网上写这些经历,你就relive一次那些
狗血情节,受伤害最大的人还是你。我们这些看客在旁边说几句你前夫/John/熟丸子是
混账,对你其实没有任何实际的帮助,还加强你的受害者心态。而victm mentality 是
一种很无奈的心态,因为你会觉得自己对局面没有控制力,但事已至此,发生的事已经
发生了,如果总是想着为什么老天偏会下冰雹打烂我的窗子,还不如把旧窗子扔到垃圾
堆里去,去搞扇更坚固的新窗子。
为什么要给那些人,那些事这么大的影响力,事情过去多年还让你花费时间和精力去责
备他们?如果你因为这些人和事,从此一直愤世嫉俗,反而因此错过良缘,那不是非常
不值得?除非你抱着“只要搞臭他们,我不介意耽误自己"的心态,那我要说,你太太太
抬举那些人了。
我觉得顿姐是个有才有貌而且骨子里还满传统和地道的女人(不会为卡为钱结婚),因
为这些年的遭遇而变得有些偏激。把这些事情放下真的是放过你自己,而不是他们。天
网恢恢,疏而不漏。做了亏心事的人终究会有报应。你自己过得好最重要,何苦把自己
和ex/John/熟丸子绑一块儿?
b*s
4 楼
不太明白你说的利用和原谅是什么关系
m*u
5 楼
幸亏没碰。这钱不赚怎么了。
s*i
6 楼
what you are saying is to let go and forget.
It's not about forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a lot harder than you think.
To err is human, to forgive, divine.
When the wound is still open and bleeding, when repressed anger has not
dissipated, there is no true forgiveness.
Time can heal, wounds heal and anger fades.
What helps the most is the wrong doer's sincere repentance and apology.That
would help a lot for the victim to heal and move on.
This is also an important thing for a healthy relationship. When you have
done something wrong, said something hurtful, admit it and apologize so
resentment doesn't accumulate within your partner.
【在 b******s 的大作中提到】
: 顿姐啊,你理解错了我说的“原谅”的含义。
: “原谅”绝对不是赞成或支持别人的狗血行为,而是不再让这些行为一直困扰你或影响
: 你的情绪。你原谅不原谅,与他们无关,只和你自己有关。
: 你的愤怒我可以理解,但每一次责备他们或者在网上写这些经历,你就relive一次那些
: 狗血情节,受伤害最大的人还是你。我们这些看客在旁边说几句你前夫/John/熟丸子是
: 混账,对你其实没有任何实际的帮助,还加强你的受害者心态。而victm mentality 是
: 一种很无奈的心态,因为你会觉得自己对局面没有控制力,但事已至此,发生的事已经
: 发生了,如果总是想着为什么老天偏会下冰雹打烂我的窗子,还不如把旧窗子扔到垃圾
: 堆里去,去搞扇更坚固的新窗子。
: 为什么要给那些人,那些事这么大的影响力,事情过去多年还让你花费时间和精力去责
It's not about forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a lot harder than you think.
To err is human, to forgive, divine.
When the wound is still open and bleeding, when repressed anger has not
dissipated, there is no true forgiveness.
Time can heal, wounds heal and anger fades.
What helps the most is the wrong doer's sincere repentance and apology.That
would help a lot for the victim to heal and move on.
This is also an important thing for a healthy relationship. When you have
done something wrong, said something hurtful, admit it and apologize so
resentment doesn't accumulate within your partner.
【在 b******s 的大作中提到】
: 顿姐啊,你理解错了我说的“原谅”的含义。
: “原谅”绝对不是赞成或支持别人的狗血行为,而是不再让这些行为一直困扰你或影响
: 你的情绪。你原谅不原谅,与他们无关,只和你自己有关。
: 你的愤怒我可以理解,但每一次责备他们或者在网上写这些经历,你就relive一次那些
: 狗血情节,受伤害最大的人还是你。我们这些看客在旁边说几句你前夫/John/熟丸子是
: 混账,对你其实没有任何实际的帮助,还加强你的受害者心态。而victm mentality 是
: 一种很无奈的心态,因为你会觉得自己对局面没有控制力,但事已至此,发生的事已经
: 发生了,如果总是想着为什么老天偏会下冰雹打烂我的窗子,还不如把旧窗子扔到垃圾
: 堆里去,去搞扇更坚固的新窗子。
: 为什么要给那些人,那些事这么大的影响力,事情过去多年还让你花费时间和精力去责
a*y
8 楼
那应该叫做“放下”。
讲“原谅”,意思一般还是说,可以继续跟对方打交道
【在 b******s 的大作中提到】
: 顿姐啊,你理解错了我说的“原谅”的含义。
: “原谅”绝对不是赞成或支持别人的狗血行为,而是不再让这些行为一直困扰你或影响
: 你的情绪。你原谅不原谅,与他们无关,只和你自己有关。
: 你的愤怒我可以理解,但每一次责备他们或者在网上写这些经历,你就relive一次那些
: 狗血情节,受伤害最大的人还是你。我们这些看客在旁边说几句你前夫/John/熟丸子是
: 混账,对你其实没有任何实际的帮助,还加强你的受害者心态。而victm mentality 是
: 一种很无奈的心态,因为你会觉得自己对局面没有控制力,但事已至此,发生的事已经
: 发生了,如果总是想着为什么老天偏会下冰雹打烂我的窗子,还不如把旧窗子扔到垃圾
: 堆里去,去搞扇更坚固的新窗子。
: 为什么要给那些人,那些事这么大的影响力,事情过去多年还让你花费时间和精力去责
讲“原谅”,意思一般还是说,可以继续跟对方打交道
【在 b******s 的大作中提到】
: 顿姐啊,你理解错了我说的“原谅”的含义。
: “原谅”绝对不是赞成或支持别人的狗血行为,而是不再让这些行为一直困扰你或影响
: 你的情绪。你原谅不原谅,与他们无关,只和你自己有关。
: 你的愤怒我可以理解,但每一次责备他们或者在网上写这些经历,你就relive一次那些
: 狗血情节,受伤害最大的人还是你。我们这些看客在旁边说几句你前夫/John/熟丸子是
: 混账,对你其实没有任何实际的帮助,还加强你的受害者心态。而victm mentality 是
: 一种很无奈的心态,因为你会觉得自己对局面没有控制力,但事已至此,发生的事已经
: 发生了,如果总是想着为什么老天偏会下冰雹打烂我的窗子,还不如把旧窗子扔到垃圾
: 堆里去,去搞扇更坚固的新窗子。
: 为什么要给那些人,那些事这么大的影响力,事情过去多年还让你花费时间和精力去责
c*a
9 楼
这个股票牛X啊。一天就完成了别的股票需要几个星期才能完成的任务。
它今后就不着急了。慢慢晃悠就行。
拿在高位的也别不用急,位差并不大,没几天就出水了。
它今后就不着急了。慢慢晃悠就行。
拿在高位的也别不用急,位差并不大,没几天就出水了。
b*s
10 楼
What I am saying is let go and free herself, not forget.
Yes, the other person's apology is helpful, but do not count on that for her
recovery-----that is holding herself hostage on other people's behavior,
which she has no control whatsoever.
Louise Hay has a good point about forgiveness in her book " You Can Do It
":
"No matter how justified you feel you are, no matter what " they " did, if
you insist on holding on tho the past, then you will never be free. ....
When you blame another, you give your own power away because you are
placing responsibility for your feelings on someone else. People in your
life may behave in ways that trigger uncomfortable responses in you. However
, they didn't get into your mind and create the buttons that have been
pushed. ...In other words, you learn to consciously choose rather than
simply react....
The reality of true forgiveness lies in setting yourself free from the
pain. It's simply an act of releasing yourself from the negative energy
that you've chosen to hold on to.
Also, forgiveness doesn't mean allowing the painful behaviors or
actions of another to continue in your life.....
No matter what your reasons are for having bitter, unforgiving feelings,
you can go beyond them. You have a choice. You can choose to stay stuck and
resentful, or you can do yourself a favor by willing forgiving what happened
in the past; letting it go; and then moving on to create a new life. "
That
【在 s**i 的大作中提到】
: what you are saying is to let go and forget.
: It's not about forgiveness.
: Forgiveness is a lot harder than you think.
: To err is human, to forgive, divine.
: When the wound is still open and bleeding, when repressed anger has not
: dissipated, there is no true forgiveness.
: Time can heal, wounds heal and anger fades.
: What helps the most is the wrong doer's sincere repentance and apology.That
: would help a lot for the victim to heal and move on.
: This is also an important thing for a healthy relationship. When you have
Yes, the other person's apology is helpful, but do not count on that for her
recovery-----that is holding herself hostage on other people's behavior,
which she has no control whatsoever.
Louise Hay has a good point about forgiveness in her book " You Can Do It
":
"No matter how justified you feel you are, no matter what " they " did, if
you insist on holding on tho the past, then you will never be free. ....
When you blame another, you give your own power away because you are
placing responsibility for your feelings on someone else. People in your
life may behave in ways that trigger uncomfortable responses in you. However
, they didn't get into your mind and create the buttons that have been
pushed. ...In other words, you learn to consciously choose rather than
simply react....
The reality of true forgiveness lies in setting yourself free from the
pain. It's simply an act of releasing yourself from the negative energy
that you've chosen to hold on to.
Also, forgiveness doesn't mean allowing the painful behaviors or
actions of another to continue in your life.....
No matter what your reasons are for having bitter, unforgiving feelings,
you can go beyond them. You have a choice. You can choose to stay stuck and
resentful, or you can do yourself a favor by willing forgiving what happened
in the past; letting it go; and then moving on to create a new life. "
That
【在 s**i 的大作中提到】
: what you are saying is to let go and forget.
: It's not about forgiveness.
: Forgiveness is a lot harder than you think.
: To err is human, to forgive, divine.
: When the wound is still open and bleeding, when repressed anger has not
: dissipated, there is no true forgiveness.
: Time can heal, wounds heal and anger fades.
: What helps the most is the wrong doer's sincere repentance and apology.That
: would help a lot for the victim to heal and move on.
: This is also an important thing for a healthy relationship. When you have
a*y
12 楼
这里有个基本的问题,就是扯现在这些经历对顿姐是否造成pain,是否有愤怒感。
这可纯粹是个主观感受的问题,你得先confirm这个。
如果不造成pain,也就无所谓recover了吧
her
It
【在 b******s 的大作中提到】
: What I am saying is let go and free herself, not forget.
: Yes, the other person's apology is helpful, but do not count on that for her
: recovery-----that is holding herself hostage on other people's behavior,
: which she has no control whatsoever.
: Louise Hay has a good point about forgiveness in her book " You Can Do It
: ":
: "No matter how justified you feel you are, no matter what " they " did, if
: you insist on holding on tho the past, then you will never be free. ....
: When you blame another, you give your own power away because you are
: placing responsibility for your feelings on someone else. People in your
这可纯粹是个主观感受的问题,你得先confirm这个。
如果不造成pain,也就无所谓recover了吧
her
It
【在 b******s 的大作中提到】
: What I am saying is let go and free herself, not forget.
: Yes, the other person's apology is helpful, but do not count on that for her
: recovery-----that is holding herself hostage on other people's behavior,
: which she has no control whatsoever.
: Louise Hay has a good point about forgiveness in her book " You Can Do It
: ":
: "No matter how justified you feel you are, no matter what " they " did, if
: you insist on holding on tho the past, then you will never be free. ....
: When you blame another, you give your own power away because you are
: placing responsibility for your feelings on someone else. People in your
g*n
13 楼
赶走daytrader,炒消息的,然后开始涨。
j*1
17 楼
原谅不等于我同意你的看法,也不等于我以后会跟你打什么交道,我原谅你是我对你之
前对我的损害作出了一个了结,不再追究。这是对自己负责任的一个表现。 因为背着
一堆仇恨真的很累。只有放下才能得到解脱。原谅也是放下的意思。
前对我的损害作出了一个了结,不再追究。这是对自己负责任的一个表现。 因为背着
一堆仇恨真的很累。只有放下才能得到解脱。原谅也是放下的意思。
Y*X
19 楼
Mark 2:7-11 (Wey) "Why does this man use such words?" they said; "He is
blaspheming. Who can pardon sins but One--that is, God?"... Jesus asked them
, "Which is easier?--to say to this paralytic, 'Your sins are pardoned,' or
to say, 'Rise, take up your mat, and walk?' But that you may know that the
Son of Man has authority on earth to pardon sins"--He turned to the
paralytic, and said, "To you I say, 'Rise, take up your mat and go home.'"
Mat 6:12 (TEB) "Forgive us the wrongs that we have done, as we forgive the
wrongs others have done us."
Luke 6:37 (NIV) "...Forgive, and you will be forgiven."
Mat 6:14-15 (NIV) "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your
heavenly Father will also forgive you. But, if you do not forgive men their
sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
blaspheming. Who can pardon sins but One--that is, God?"... Jesus asked them
, "Which is easier?--to say to this paralytic, 'Your sins are pardoned,' or
to say, 'Rise, take up your mat, and walk?' But that you may know that the
Son of Man has authority on earth to pardon sins"--He turned to the
paralytic, and said, "To you I say, 'Rise, take up your mat and go home.'"
Mat 6:12 (TEB) "Forgive us the wrongs that we have done, as we forgive the
wrongs others have done us."
Luke 6:37 (NIV) "...Forgive, and you will be forgiven."
Mat 6:14-15 (NIV) "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your
heavenly Father will also forgive you. But, if you do not forgive men their
sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
s*i
20 楼
Right, when the person who wronged you is out of your life, this is a way of
forgiving. A self initiated closure.
If that person, for whatever reason, be he your life partner, spouse etc, is
part of your life, then forgiveness has to come from both parties proper
action.
Without true repentance and forgiveness, the hurt and resentment are not
resolved but repressed, buried and temporarily ignored. It festers
underneath the normalcy of daily life and may implode with much bigger force
sometime down the road.
【在 j*******1 的大作中提到】
: 原谅不等于我同意你的看法,也不等于我以后会跟你打什么交道,我原谅你是我对你之
: 前对我的损害作出了一个了结,不再追究。这是对自己负责任的一个表现。 因为背着
: 一堆仇恨真的很累。只有放下才能得到解脱。原谅也是放下的意思。
forgiving. A self initiated closure.
If that person, for whatever reason, be he your life partner, spouse etc, is
part of your life, then forgiveness has to come from both parties proper
action.
Without true repentance and forgiveness, the hurt and resentment are not
resolved but repressed, buried and temporarily ignored. It festers
underneath the normalcy of daily life and may implode with much bigger force
sometime down the road.
【在 j*******1 的大作中提到】
: 原谅不等于我同意你的看法,也不等于我以后会跟你打什么交道,我原谅你是我对你之
: 前对我的损害作出了一个了结,不再追究。这是对自己负责任的一个表现。 因为背着
: 一堆仇恨真的很累。只有放下才能得到解脱。原谅也是放下的意思。
b*s
21 楼
问题是,那些人没有理由还留在她的生活里啊。即使是作为孩子的生父,老顿还要和前
夫打交道,她和前夫作为夫妻的缘分早就终结了;至于其他那些没名没分的虾兵蟹将,
就更没有纠缠的必要了。
of
is
force
【在 s**i 的大作中提到】
: Right, when the person who wronged you is out of your life, this is a way of
: forgiving. A self initiated closure.
: If that person, for whatever reason, be he your life partner, spouse etc, is
: part of your life, then forgiveness has to come from both parties proper
: action.
: Without true repentance and forgiveness, the hurt and resentment are not
: resolved but repressed, buried and temporarily ignored. It festers
: underneath the normalcy of daily life and may implode with much bigger force
: sometime down the road.
夫打交道,她和前夫作为夫妻的缘分早就终结了;至于其他那些没名没分的虾兵蟹将,
就更没有纠缠的必要了。
of
is
force
【在 s**i 的大作中提到】
: Right, when the person who wronged you is out of your life, this is a way of
: forgiving. A self initiated closure.
: If that person, for whatever reason, be he your life partner, spouse etc, is
: part of your life, then forgiveness has to come from both parties proper
: action.
: Without true repentance and forgiveness, the hurt and resentment are not
: resolved but repressed, buried and temporarily ignored. It festers
: underneath the normalcy of daily life and may implode with much bigger force
: sometime down the road.
Y*X
27 楼
现在不是让任何人,接受任何的宗教,现在我们讲的是道理,为什么那么多人都接受宗
教,因为他们有个共同点,就是很大一部分讲的都是做人的道理。不是说其他人不明白
道理,但是就算明白道理,很多时候都需要旁观者提醒, 而旁观者需要用普遍人能接
受的道理才能说服当事人,我所谓的“普遍人能接受的道理”就是宗教里的教导。
教,因为他们有个共同点,就是很大一部分讲的都是做人的道理。不是说其他人不明白
道理,但是就算明白道理,很多时候都需要旁观者提醒, 而旁观者需要用普遍人能接
受的道理才能说服当事人,我所谓的“普遍人能接受的道理”就是宗教里的教导。
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