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黄西 Joe Wong on Letterman 03/30/2012 with English subtitle
avatar
y*p
2
笑了。

【在 k*****n 的大作中提到】
: 看不看得懂?
avatar
n*a
3
He IS funny.
avatar
d*e
4
re

【在 n*********a 的大作中提到】
: He IS funny.
avatar
n*a
5
The script I just transcribed based on the caption (with certain improvement)
Hi everybody.
I see a lot of really cocky bumper stickers, you know, like "My son is an
honored student" or "This car climbed Mountain Washington".
I surely want to see some humble ones, like "My son just moved back in with
us" or "I am on Facebook, I have two friends".
So when I drive in certain states in this country, I have to have my papers
ready, because I am an immigrant.
Then I learned that the term "immigrant" has a negative connotation. I think
that's probably why on those immigration papers, the United States
government decided to call us "Aliens".
Sound so much nicer you know: "Hey, we are not here to take your jobs, we
are just here to abduct you."
I heard this from my car radio a program called "This I believe", where
people talk about what they really believe in, and I prepared some material
for that show. And I just want to share it with you guys tonight.
So "This I believe" by Joe Wong.
I believe that if you give a man a fish, he will be totally weeded out.
And I believe that school closing is, for parents, kind of like the
Guantanamo Bay situation.
In the beginning we are like "Yeah it is closed!" "Oh, no! They are coming
here!"
And I believe that "Dominos" is a terrible name for a chain restaurant.
And I believe that the most important thing that Chinese invented is paper,
because before that we only had rock and scissors.
And I believed that laughter is the best medicine, but it's the worst
prescription. "Looks like you have pneumonia. Ha ha ha!"
And I believe that if I were to die in a car accident, I want it to be a
collision with a cement truck. That way immediately after I die, there is a
statue of me.
And I believe that when the lord comes back, he would be driving a car with
a bumper sticker that says "What would I do?"
And he should have his papers ready, because his name is Jesus (pronounced
in Latin not in English because Jesus was not born in USA).
And I believe that God is a woman, because she never forgets anything that
you've ever done. And she'd punish us with vengeance, only because she loves
you.
Thank you so much!
avatar
r*e
6
Didn't get the 'What would I do?' one.
avatar
n*a
7
That implies, in the nowadays world, even God can't do nothing.

【在 r***e 的大作中提到】
: Didn't get the 'What would I do?' one.
avatar
T*I
8
Very good!
I don't understand the "name is Jesus". Anyone can explain?
got it now "because Jesus was not born in USA"
avatar
n*a
9
I like the "Dominos" joke. I also feel something is not right here. Most
Americans I know understand this one within 3 seconds.
avatar
k*n
10
He pronouce Jesus as an illigal Mexican immigrant would do, so Jesus needs
to get his papers ready in Arizona.

【在 T*********I 的大作中提到】
: Very good!
: I don't understand the "name is Jesus". Anyone can explain?
: got it now "because Jesus was not born in USA"

avatar
A*8
11
Some religious people, and even non-religious people, would always say "what
would Jesus do" when they face a tough decision, normally a moral decision.
You see such stickers too on cars. So he is just playing on this phrase.

【在 r***e 的大作中提到】
: Didn't get the 'What would I do?' one.
avatar
k*n
12
正解!

what
decision.

【在 A*******8 的大作中提到】
: Some religious people, and even non-religious people, would always say "what
: would Jesus do" when they face a tough decision, normally a moral decision.
: You see such stickers too on cars. So he is just playing on this phrase.

avatar
A*8
13
多米诺牌就是一个倒了然后一系列的都倒了,这就是说连锁店会一连串地倒闭。

【在 n*********a 的大作中提到】
: I like the "Dominos" joke. I also feel something is not right here. Most
: Americans I know understand this one within 3 seconds.

avatar
A*8
14
很多西语裔的人喜欢用Jesus这个名字,其实都是同一个词,但是西语发音就是视频里
他说的那个发音。因为很多racial profiling的人会看到西裔就怀疑是外国人。所以是
嘲讽美国人对西裔的racial profiling.

【在 T*********I 的大作中提到】
: Very good!
: I don't understand the "name is Jesus". Anyone can explain?
: got it now "because Jesus was not born in USA"

avatar
l*j
15

i thought he was trying to say Jesus is a name from middle-east, he is an "
Alien", an immigrant who needs to show his paper work.

【在 A*******8 的大作中提到】
: 很多西语裔的人喜欢用Jesus这个名字,其实都是同一个词,但是西语发音就是视频里
: 他说的那个发音。因为很多racial profiling的人会看到西裔就怀疑是外国人。所以是
: 嘲讽美国人对西裔的racial profiling.

avatar
A*8
16
要是那样理解,他就不需要用西语的发音了。而且关键是这个名字是西语裔的人特别常
用的。

【在 l******j 的大作中提到】
:
: i thought he was trying to say Jesus is a name from middle-east, he is an "
: Alien", an immigrant who needs to show his paper work.

avatar
n*s
17
Anyone explain this line: "I believe that if you give a man a fish, he will
be totally weeded out."
avatar
n*s
18
I saw it last night in live. Rewatch it cleared a few things out. Thanks for
posting.
avatar
A*8
19
英语里面有一句谚语"If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you
teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime." 而 "weed out" 有一点“优胜
劣汰”的感觉。所以把这两个合起来就明白了...
不过英语里面的这个谚语其实来自中文“授之以鱼不如授之以渔”,其原文有人说是出自《老子》
原文:“授人以鱼,不如授之以渔,授人以鱼只救一时之及,授人以渔则可解一生之需。” 不过老子原文里面
好像并没有这样的话,而且从语言角度看,这话也太“现代汉语”了,根本不符合老子的风格。

will

【在 n***s 的大作中提到】
: Anyone explain this line: "I believe that if you give a man a fish, he will
: be totally weeded out."

avatar
k*n
20
I think it's a movie God Father reference. In mafia culture, a dead fish is
a warning that you will be killed soon.

you
出自《老子》
需。” 不过老子原文里面
子的风格。

【在 A*******8 的大作中提到】
: 英语里面有一句谚语"If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you
: teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime." 而 "weed out" 有一点“优胜
: 劣汰”的感觉。所以把这两个合起来就明白了...
: 不过英语里面的这个谚语其实来自中文“授之以鱼不如授之以渔”,其原文有人说是出自《老子》
: 原文:“授人以鱼,不如授之以渔,授人以鱼只救一时之及,授人以渔则可解一生之需。” 不过老子原文里面
: 好像并没有这样的话,而且从语言角度看,这话也太“现代汉语”了,根本不符合老子的风格。
:
: will

avatar
k*o
21
no,这个应该是字幕错误。不是weeded out,而是weirded out。就是说,
你没事给人一条鱼,那个人会觉得很诡异。

you
出自《老子》
需。” 不过老子原文里面
子的风格。

【在 A*******8 的大作中提到】
: 英语里面有一句谚语"If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you
: teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime." 而 "weed out" 有一点“优胜
: 劣汰”的感觉。所以把这两个合起来就明白了...
: 不过英语里面的这个谚语其实来自中文“授之以鱼不如授之以渔”,其原文有人说是出自《老子》
: 原文:“授人以鱼,不如授之以渔,授人以鱼只救一时之及,授人以渔则可解一生之需。” 不过老子原文里面
: 好像并没有这样的话,而且从语言角度看,这话也太“现代汉语”了,根本不符合老子的风格。
:
: will

avatar
k*n
22
weed out 是除草,干掉的意思

【在 k**o 的大作中提到】
: no,这个应该是字幕错误。不是weeded out,而是weirded out。就是说,
: 你没事给人一条鱼,那个人会觉得很诡异。
:
: you
: 出自《老子》
: 需。” 不过老子原文里面
: 子的风格。

avatar
k*o
23
我知道,但是这句话里用这个词没有意义,也不好笑。应该是weirded out

【在 k*****n 的大作中提到】
: weed out 是除草,干掉的意思
avatar
A*8
24
我听录像的时候也感觉是weirded out,我觉得如果是weirded out就更容易解释了,不
过还是得结合那个谚语,他说了谚语的第一句,人们等着后面的句子,但是出人意料的
他却说“那就会让他觉得特别奇怪”,这样我觉得还是比较搞笑的。不过显然他的发音
在这里影响了别人的理解。

【在 k**o 的大作中提到】
: no,这个应该是字幕错误。不是weeded out,而是weirded out。就是说,
: 你没事给人一条鱼,那个人会觉得很诡异。
:
: you
: 出自《老子》
: 需。” 不过老子原文里面
: 子的风格。

avatar
k*n
25
the Guantanamo bay closing and school closing don't seem very matching, can
you explain?

【在 A*******8 的大作中提到】
: 很多西语裔的人喜欢用Jesus这个名字,其实都是同一个词,但是西语发音就是视频里
: 他说的那个发音。因为很多racial profiling的人会看到西裔就怀疑是外国人。所以是
: 嘲讽美国人对西裔的racial profiling.

avatar
A*8
26
你可以google一下Darwinism weed out 你就会看到很多解释达尔文的优胜劣汰的理论
用这个词。

【在 k*****n 的大作中提到】
: weed out 是除草,干掉的意思
avatar
A*8
27
For parents if the school is closed they do not have to take their children
to school or get them from school. So it is less work. But then if school is
closed, the children will stay home, and the parents need to take care of
them and they can't enjoy their free day.
If Guantanamo bay is closed, Americans feel that it is one less burden for
whatever reason they choose. But then they realize the closing of Guantanamo
bay means that the prisoners will be brought back to a facility within the
continental US. Then it will be an inconvenience for Americans.
You see the analogy then.

can

【在 k*****n 的大作中提到】
: the Guantanamo bay closing and school closing don't seem very matching, can
: you explain?

avatar
k*n
28
You may need to have kid of school age to get this joke.

children
is
Guantanamo
the

【在 A*******8 的大作中提到】
: For parents if the school is closed they do not have to take their children
: to school or get them from school. So it is less work. But then if school is
: closed, the children will stay home, and the parents need to take care of
: them and they can't enjoy their free day.
: If Guantanamo bay is closed, Americans feel that it is one less burden for
: whatever reason they choose. But then they realize the closing of Guantanamo
: bay means that the prisoners will be brought back to a facility within the
: continental US. Then it will be an inconvenience for Americans.
: You see the analogy then.
:

avatar
A*8
29
美国电视剧里面很多这样的情节,接送孩子上学,尤其对于工作特别忙的父母来说很不
容易,有一些父母虽然在家工作,可是孩子在家就什么都做不成了。我觉得多看美国电
视剧电影什么地就够了。

【在 k*****n 的大作中提到】
: You may need to have kid of school age to get this joke.
:
: children
: is
: Guantanamo
: the

avatar
l*y
30
no you don't need to

【在 k*****n 的大作中提到】
: You may need to have kid of school age to get this joke.
:
: children
: is
: Guantanamo
: the

avatar
n*p
31
can not.

【在 k*****n 的大作中提到】
: 看不看得懂?
avatar
n*s
32
Last week was spring break for my kid. Yeah, no school, no dance class, no
other classes, then I took whole week off too. Traveled over thousand miles.
Very tired.

can

【在 k*****n 的大作中提到】
: the Guantanamo bay closing and school closing don't seem very matching, can
: you explain?

avatar
m*t
33
Google wwjd

【在 r***e 的大作中提到】
: Didn't get the 'What would I do?' one.
avatar
m*t
34
......

【在 n*********a 的大作中提到】
: That implies, in the nowadays world, even God can't do nothing.
avatar
n*a
35
没听说过weird out这个idiom。
weeded out本意应该是被淘汰、完蛋的意思吧,和鱼的关系来自"授之鱼不如授之渔"这
个说法。
不过Joe Wang应该是加了个双关:就是鱼闻着味儿太大,被熏晕过去的意思,这意思来
自吸大麻(weed)被熏晕(out)。

【在 k**o 的大作中提到】
: no,这个应该是字幕错误。不是weeded out,而是weirded out。就是说,
: 你没事给人一条鱼,那个人会觉得很诡异。
:
: you
: 出自《老子》
: 需。” 不过老子原文里面
: 子的风格。

avatar
n*a
36
最正宗的Bible其实是拉丁语的,Jesus = Iesus,中世纪圣经只有拉丁语的,较正式的
英语圣经是斯图亚特王朝以后才定下来的。
拉丁语已经没人说的,西班牙语是现代日常用的语言里最接近古拉丁语的。Latino,呵
呵。
这地方也是双关,一方面提示Jesus的出身(Jesus肯定是alien),一方面讽刺Arizona那几个州针对移民(尤
其是Latino移民)的苛法。

【在 A*******8 的大作中提到】
: 很多西语裔的人喜欢用Jesus这个名字,其实都是同一个词,但是西语发音就是视频里
: 他说的那个发音。因为很多racial profiling的人会看到西裔就怀疑是外国人。所以是
: 嘲讽美国人对西裔的racial profiling.

avatar
k*o
37
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=weirded+out
别乱联想了,在日常美国生活中,你拿条鲜鱼送给你美国同事朋友,人家会
觉得你weird/creepy,所以收到鱼的美国人会weirded out。

【在 n*********a 的大作中提到】
: 没听说过weird out这个idiom。
: weeded out本意应该是被淘汰、完蛋的意思吧,和鱼的关系来自"授之鱼不如授之渔"这
: 个说法。
: 不过Joe Wang应该是加了个双关:就是鱼闻着味儿太大,被熏晕过去的意思,这意思来
: 自吸大麻(weed)被熏晕(out)。

avatar
p*d
38
Many people have "what would Jesus do" stickers, so He just tries to fit in
with the crowd.

【在 r***e 的大作中提到】
: Didn't get the 'What would I do?' one.
avatar
A*8
39
我觉得还是他的笑话写得不够好,还有一个原因就是他的发音有的时候也影响理解。尤
其这种现场的笑话其实是不应该推敲的,就是一个基于常识的直接反应。如果我们分析
了这么多还不能够大成一致,只能说明要么这个笑话写得不好,要么我们都想得太多了。

那几个州针对移民(尤

【在 n*********a 的大作中提到】
: 最正宗的Bible其实是拉丁语的,Jesus = Iesus,中世纪圣经只有拉丁语的,较正式的
: 英语圣经是斯图亚特王朝以后才定下来的。
: 拉丁语已经没人说的,西班牙语是现代日常用的语言里最接近古拉丁语的。Latino,呵
: 呵。
: 这地方也是双关,一方面提示Jesus的出身(Jesus肯定是alien),一方面讽刺Arizona那几个州针对移民(尤
: 其是Latino移民)的苛法。

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