再谈回公司上班 (w English)

2021-05-30 21:05

回公司上了第一个星期班后，一日回家问仍然在家上班的某人，"是我在家好还是不在家好?" 虽然知道他一向实话实说，不过心里还是希望答案是"你在家比较好"，毕竟一年多在家上班，我天天热饭热汤伺候着，一日三餐，以为自己劳苦功高。不料人家的回答是"各有各的好"。(他的意思是一个人在家上班更清静，可以有自己的节奏，没有人打扰，这个打扰包括打球，中午吃饭：））不好的地方是自己要下厨房弄吃的。)

人啊，永远不要高估自己，这世上没有谁离不开谁的，也很少有绝对的事。

这让我想起，去公司上班和在家上班是不是一样各有各的好呢？

回公司上班第二周的周四遇见了一年多没有见面的同部门同事N，我们彼此热情地打着招呼。N有三个女儿，最小的女儿一年多前还是个一岁不到的baby, 生下她后，她一度让她洪都拉斯的侄女来帮忙照看孩子，后来侄女签证到期得回去，她四处寻找daycare, 记得她跟我说过，小女儿daycare一个月就一千多，加上另外两个女儿的after school的费用，一个月光这个开销就两千多，而这对于家庭收入不高的夫妻俩来说是一笔大开销。她曾经希望公司能让她在家上班，但是没有批准。然后史无前例的pandemic给了大家在家上班的机会，我以为她这下该如愿以偿了。不料这次见到她，她却松口气说，终于可以回来上班了，终于可以摆脱没完没了的家务，终于可以从忙乱的照顾孩子、家务、工作混作一团的状态中遁逃出来，getaway是她用的词。她说，在家上班，时不时有女儿打扰，比如会大声问，Mom，How to spell "because"? 她的这番话，让我想起曾经的自己。

以前女儿在家, 周末不是要送她去参加这个活动那个活动，就是要做这个家务那个家务，有时候感觉周末比上班忙。周一来上班，踏进办公室的那一刻，心才慢慢安静下来，坐下来可以喝口热茶，做点自己想做的事。。。

婆婆曾经跟我说过，养个孩子赶得上种十亩地。想起二十多年前在国内养女儿，从出生到会爬会走，到牙牙学语，在家的时光围着孩子转，忙这忙那一刻不闲。那时在学校当老师，很多课都安排在早上，只记得早上忙着把孩子安顿好后，抓起包子之类的早餐在手里，一手握着自行车的方向感，一手将包子往嘴里塞，当我争分夺秒匆匆赶到教室时，进门做的第一件事是拿把椅子坐下先喘口气。。。

做全职妈妈不容易啊。我是不是该庆幸自己有工作的，因为有工作才有经济上的独立，有了跟这个社会联系的纽带，才能跟上这个社会发展的脚步而不至于太脱节。因为有工作，我有了除了家以外可以去的地方，可以暂时躲避(get away)家中的琐碎和那种待在家里似乎有做不完事的感觉。坐在安静的办公室，心是静的，专心忙完手头的活，有时还能静下心来写文章，很多手稿就是随手捏来一张纸开始涂鸦的。。。

相对于同事N, 我现在没有孩子在身边，家事少了，可有时在家上班东摸摸西摸摸，浑浑噩噩好像没做什么事一天也就过去了。而人其实又是需要discipline了，这些外在的压力和条件在一定程度上起到了束缚人的作用。在家上班虽然好，但生活容易变得没有规律，上班下班没有明确的分割线，上班时做着下班的事，下了班晚上又在干着白天上班的活。。。

这样一想，在家上班回公司上班还真是各有各的好。人是需要面对面交往，哪怕公司厨房里打个照面，聊个天，平时一起吃个饭，都是有利于增进感情的，所谓的日久生情，所谓润物细无声。虽然对我而言职场已无所求了，但是我依然需要这份工作。既然回不回去上班的决定权不在我们员工手里，不如想想它的好，高高兴兴地回去罢了。

On a Thursday of my second week of returning to office, I met Nelly from our department, as she seated herself in a cubicle in the front row across the aisle. Greeting without a hug, we exchanged information. Nelly is a mother of three girls, the youngest of whom must be over two years old by now. The other two are in elementary school. I remember that she once wished that she could work from home to reduce the childcare or afterschool expenses, which amount to more than 2000 dollars a month.

But then the pandemic broke out, giving her and most of us a welcome chance to work from home. I would expect her to lament, as I did, over the company’s decision to end it. She lives in a city about an hour drive away via a toll road. But surprisingly she told me that after being confined at home for so long, with overwhelming house chores and daily care of kids, she couldn’t wait to come back to the office for a getaway.

Her words resonated within me, as I flashbacked to the early days of raising my daughter decades ago. I remember many hectic mornings after feeding the baby, changing the diaper, or sending her to the kindergarten in the later year, I was left with little time for my own breakfast. Grabbing anything on the run, I raced on a bike, pedaling hard along a campus shortcut, with one hand on the handle and the other a bun to finish. Being a teacher at the time, the first thing I did as soon as I entered the classroom was sit on a chair before collecting myself together for the class. Teaching four classes in a morning was tiring, but the rest continuous 10 or 12 hours with the baby at home was more taxing.

So in a way, coming to office and work creates variations, a respite from our day-to-day house work. While it could be an escape, working at office is assumably more productive. Though productivity is something an owner may concern, a workplace is where we can meet people. A moment of water-cooler in the kitchen could possibly bring serendipity and intimacy, and that is something we are less likely to experience if we work from home. Intrinsic to most human beings or embedded in our DNAs are the inclinations and needs to gather together, to socialize, and to be connected, not just virtually but physically. So let’s embrace the return to office with a smile.

5/30

这是自一月后的第一个长周末，我们也没有外出的打算。今日又去了水厂附近的湿地公园。看见入口处坡上的黑莓有些已经成熟了，我把包里带的盛着苹果的小塑料盒腾了出来，两人一起摘了一小盒黑莓。公园里用水灌溉的野生黑莓就是让人摘的。一眼望去，大多面上的黑莓还没有完全成熟，或许是因为成熟的已经被人摘走的原因。不过定睛细看，还是可以在荆棘丛里发现乌黑发亮成熟的黑莓。这里的黑莓要比自家后院的黑莓香甜，虽然不及自己后院的大、黑。正午的阳光太晒了，我们摘了一小盒便起身准备离开，这时看见一个胖男子坐在树荫下歇息，手上沾满了红红的黑莓汁，脚下放着好大一桶黑莓，边上还拖着一个大cooler.

摘完黑莓，我们走进公园。今日偶遇一只类似blue heron的鸟站着池塘上浮动的枝条上。只见它一动不动，目不转睛地盯着水面。我们耐心地站在桥上拿着相机等着，终于捕捉到它捉鱼的一霎那。

The bird, perched on a stick above the pond full of dirty bubbles, was motionless for minutes. Then in a split second, it plunged into the water, and snapped a fish.