说说我的两位老美婆婆 --1

2021-12-22 22:12

休市六月的天像孩子的脸，阴晴无常。突然瓢泼阵雨，一会儿又阳光普照。一个清晨, 老心脏没有玩儿新开启的花样（时不时造反一下, 狂奔乱跳）我穿着件XXL号棉质T恤，舒舒服服去后院赏花。突然，凉风骤起，一朵乌云就爬到了当顶。匆忙地剪了几朵花，刚跑进了屋，豆大的雨点就噼噼啪啪地打降下来。

插好了一瓶花，放在餐桌上。我捧了杯咖啡，去自己的小书房里看电脑，读了几遍城里边侠的大作《老了，如何活得有尊严？》。当读到她“高兴的片汤”里那句“大多数情况下以健康食品为主，偶尔吃点junk food放纵一下”，就笑出了声，把我那杯always，而不是偶尔，加奶糖过度的浓咖啡对着博客里边侠的头像举了举，轻轻说了声谢谢。而在蓝天白云下，一望无际的草原上，长发飘飘的边边正忙着整理马具，那匹骏马已经迫不及待地等着骑士上鞍，好四蹄腾云驾雾，飞驰而去了。。

出了书房， AE高高兴兴地谢了我的随手插花。见他又很有兴致地，换了张台布，还把他母亲从小的两件古董玩具放在了花旁。

以上是AE的曾外婆，当年AE母亲的外婆送给她亲爱的小外孙女卡琳，自己亲手缝制的布艺偶--唐老鸭。

AE母亲从小的木制玩具- -小女孩和小鸭子。我小时候好像也看到过类似的木玩具。

我请AE给花和玩具照相，自己却还沉浸在边边的博文里，当时就不禁想，何不写写AE的老妈，我婆婆卡琳最后的潇洒人生和尊严呢？

近两三个月，脑瓜卡壳，敲不出字来，于是在文件夹里翻出了以上，六月里的一段心情文字。这里也一并感谢边边，从她的佳作《老了，如何活得有尊严？》，得到了启发，也来写写我近距离接触过的美国普通老人，比如我的两位老美婆婆, 她们的养老生活和人生最后一程。。

当然，我得先解释一下，我为什么会有两位老美婆婆。

我先生AE的亲生父母在儿子高中毕业后，即将离家去外地上大学前的那个暑假里，在结婚23年后，竟然也加入了美国70年代盛行起来的Middle age crisis的行列，离婚了。后来他俩又各自再婚，重组家庭二十多年。所以AE有两个妈，一个亲妈卡琳，一个继母艾玛，我和AE结婚后，也就顺理成章有了这两位老美婆婆。前些年，AE的亲妈卡琳在她83岁时谢世了（AE的父母同年先后去世），他的继母艾玛现在92岁了，还自己住在她和AE父亲比尔住了二十几年的老宅里，我也还时不时收到她多年自诩不凡的Elma‘s Poisonous mails（艾玛毒药信件）。。

以下是当年，我写在卡琳追思网站的一段纪念文，有兴趣的网友不妨一读，也可略见一斑，我和AE亲妈的婆媳关系。。

Through our lengthy (in-law) complex relationship, Carlene earned my respect for her independent and responsible life style. I also really admired her determination and bravery when she had to face difficult situations, and very hard decisions.

In her last November, even though she was very ill, and as a responsible citizen as she always was, she made a thorough and careful analysis, chose and voted for her preferred presidential candidate. She never laid any burden to her children for tough decisions, such as when she had to give up her car key and sell her home to move into a retirement facility. Even when she told her children and her doctor to stop her medical treatment, she expressed her will in such calm, brave and at the matter of the fact manner. She kept her dignity and took care of her own business until her last day.

I could say Carlene was a very strong-willed American mother-in-law and I was a quite headstrong Chinese daughter- in- law, we had many differences，of course.

Between Carlene and me, however, I respected and admired her in many respects. I learned many good things from her, which I really appreciated.