《呼啸山庄》重译09G

原文

拙译

“It is not,” retorted she; “it is the best! The others were the satisfaction of my whims: and for Edgar’s sake, too, to satisfy him. This is for the sake of one who comprehends in his person my feelings to Edgar and myself. I cannot express it; but surely you and everybody have a notion that there is or should be an existence of yours beyond you. What were the use of my creation, if I were entirely contained here? My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff’s miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning: my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it. My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I’m well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He’s always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being. So don’t talk of our separation again: it is impracticable; and—”

 “不，”她反驳道，“这是最好的动机！其他动机都是为满足我的异想天开；而且也是为了爱德嘉的缘故，我才去满足他。因为我明白在他身上，既包含着我对爱德嘉的感情，也包含着他对我自己的感情。我无法说清楚，可是你和其他所有人当然都了解，除了你自身以外，还有，或者说应该有，另一个你存在。如果我完全被裹在这儿，那么造就我这个人又有什么用处呢？在这个世上，我的种种痛苦就是黑思克里夫的种种痛苦，而且从一开始我就关注到并互相感受到了痛苦。我之所以活在世上的最大信念都是因为有他。如果别的一切都毁灭了，而他还在，我才能继续活下去；如果别的一切都在，而他却给被歼灭了，整个宇宙对我而言将变得形同陌路——看起来我像是宇宙的一部分——我对林腾的爱就像是树林中的叶子——我完全晓得，冬天会使树木发生变化，时间将会使叶子发生变化。我对黑思克里夫的爱如同地下亘古不变的磐石——看起来带给我的快乐极少，但是这快乐对我很有必要。耐莉，我就是黑思克里夫！他永远、永远在我心里——他并不能令我心满意足，并不见得比我使我自己更能够心满意足，但他却是作为我自身活在这个世上。所以请别再谈我们分离了——这不切实际；而且——”

She paused, and hid her face in the folds of my gown; but I jerked it forcibly away. I was out of patience with her folly!

“If I can make any sense of your nonsense, Miss,” I said, “it only goes to convince me that you are ignorant of the duties you undertake in marrying; or else that you are a wicked, unprincipled girl. But trouble me with no more secrets: I’ll not promise to keep them.”

“You’ll keep that?” she asked, eagerly.

“No, I’ll not promise,” I repeated.

She was about to insist, when the entrance of Joseph finished our conversation; and Catherine removed her seat to a corner, and nursed Hareton, while I made the supper. After it was cooked, my fellow-servant and I began to quarrel who should carry some to Mr. Hindley; and we didn’t settle it till all was nearly cold. Then we came to the agreement that we would let him ask, if he wanted any; for we feared particularly to go into his presence when he had been some time alone.

她停住了，把脸埋到我衣裙的褶子里；可我用力把她推开了。对她的这种荒唐行径，我再也没有耐心了！

“如果我能够从你这番胡言乱语中找出一点道理来，小姐，”我说，“那只能令我坚信你完全不知道在婚姻中你所要承担的义务；要不然，你就是个十恶不赦、毫无原则的姑娘。不要再用这些秘密来烦我。我不能保证替你来保守这些秘密。”

“这点秘密你肯保守吧？”她焦急地问。

“不，我不能保守，”我重复说。

她正要死缠着不放，这时周思福进来了，我们的谈话就此打住。阚思睿把她的椅子搬到角落里，照管着海瑞腾，我去准备晚饭了。饭做好后，我的仆人伙伴就跟我开始争执谁该给亨得利送饭，我们没能达成解决方案，一直等到饭菜都快凉了。然后我们达成一致意见，如果他想吃的话，我们就等他要吧。因为当亨得利单独一个人呆的时候，我们都特别害怕走到他面前。

“And how isn’t that nowt comed in fro’ th’ field, be this time? What is he about? girt idle seeght!” demanded the old man, looking round for Heathcliff.

“I’ll call him,” I replied. “He’s in the barn, I’ve no doubt.”

I went and called, but got no answer. On returning, I whispered to Catherine that he had heard a good part of what she said, I was sure; and told how I saw him quit the kitchen just as she complained of her brother’s conduct regarding him. She jumped up in a fine fright, flung Hareton on to the settle, and ran to seek for her friend herself; not taking leisure to consider why she was so flurried, or how her talk would have affected him. She was absent such a while that Joseph proposed we should wait no longer. He cunningly conjectured they were staying away in order to avoid hearing his protracted blessing. They were “ill eneugh for ony fahl manners,” he affirmed. And on their behalf he added that night a special prayer to the usual quarter-of-an-hour’s supplication before meat, and would have tacked another to the end of the grace, had not his young mistress broken in upon him with a hurried command that he must run down the road, and, wherever Heathcliff had rambled, find and make him re-enter directly!

“都这时候了，那个废物咋么还没从地里回来？他干啥去啦？又到哪达去啦？”这老头子问道，四下里望着，想找黑思克里夫。

“我去喊他，”我回答，“他在谷仓里，我想不会错。”

我去喊了他，可是没人答应。回来时，我低声对阚思睿说，我肯定他已经听到刚才她的大部分谈话，并且告诉她当她抱怨她哥哥对待他的行为时，我是怎样看见他离开了厨房。她吃了一惊，跳起身来，把海瑞腾扔到高背椅上，径直跑了出去找她的朋友，她无暇考虑她为啥如此慌乱，也没有考虑她的话如何影响到他。她去了很久没回来，于是周思福建议说我们不必再等下去了。周思福诡计多端，猜测他俩还在外面逗留，为的是避免听他冗长的祷告。他断言他们“不相乾，只知道胡扬憨”。那天晚上，周思福代表他俩，在一刻钟的饭前祷告之前，特别增加了一段祷告。要不是小女主人冲进门来，他本来还要在祷告完后另外加一段。阚思睿匆忙命令周思福必须跑去大马路上，不管黑思克里夫游荡到哪儿，也得把他找回来，而且要他马上现身！

“I want to speak to him, and I must, before I go upstairs,” she said. “And the gate is open: he is somewhere out of hearing; for he would not reply, though I shouted at the top of the fold as loud as I could.”

Joseph objected at first; she was too much in earnest, however, to suffer contradiction; and at last he placed his hat on his head, and walked grumbling forth. Meantime, Catherine paced up and down the floor, exclaiming—“I wonder where he is—I wonder where he can be! What did I say, Nelly? I’ve forgotten. Was he vexed at my bad humour this afternoon? Dear! tell me what I’ve said to grieve him? I do wish he’d come. I do wish he would!”

“What a noise for nothing!” I cried, though rather uneasy myself. “What a trifle scares you! It’s surely no great cause of alarm that Heathcliff should take a moonlight saunter on the moors, or even lie too sulky to speak to us in the hay-loft. I’ll engage he’s lurking there. See if I don’t ferret him out!”

“我要和他说话，在我上楼以前，我非要和他说话不可，”她说。“大门正开着，他在一个听不到人喊叫的地方。尽管我到羊圈最高处扯开嗓子使劲大声喊，他也不搭理我。”

周思福起初不肯去，但是她太着急了，不容他反对。终于他把帽子往头上一戴，嘴里抱怨着走了出去。这时，阚思睿在地板上来回踱着步，嘴里叫着，“真奇怪他在哪儿——奇怪他能跑到哪儿去呢？我说什么了，耐莉？我都忘啦，他是怪我今天下午对他发脾气吗？亲爱的！告诉我，我说了什么令他难过。但愿他会回来。但愿他会的！”

“你这样大声吵吵有什么用！”我喊道，尽管我自己感觉心有点不安。“这点儿小事，看把你给吓得！这当然没什么值得大惊小怪的，黑思克里夫保不准正在月光下的旷野中散步呢，或者躺在干草棚阁楼里，正闷闷不乐，不想和我们说话。我敢说他现在正躲在那儿呢。看我不把他搜出来才怪呢！”

I departed to renew my search; its result was disappointment, and Joseph’s quest ended in the same.

“Yon lad gets war und war!” observed he on re-entering. “He’s left th’ gate at t’ full swing, and Miss’s pony has trodden dahn two rigs o’ corn, and plottered through, raight o’er into t’ meadow! Hahsomdiver, t’ maister ’ull play t’ devil to-morn, and he’ll do weel. He’s patience itsseln wi’ sich careless, offald craters—patience itsseln he is! Bud he’ll not be soa allus—yah’s see, all on ye! Yah mun’n’t drive him out of his heead for nowt!”

“Have you found Heathcliff, you ass?” interrupted Catherine. “Have you been looking for him, as I ordered?”

“I sud more likker look for th’ horse,” he replied. “It ’ud be to more sense. Bud I can look for norther horse nur man of a neeght loike this—as black as t’ chimbley! und Heathcliff’s noan t’ chap to coom at my whistle—happen he’ll be less hard o’ hearing wi’ ye!”

我出去重新找了一遍，结果令人失望，而周思福寻找回来的也是同样结果。

“这小子越来越不像话啦！”他一走进来就说道，“他临出去时把门大敞着，大小姐的小马跑出去已经踏坏了两畦麦苗，跌跌撞撞跑到牧场去了！少爷明儿个早起肯定要火冒三丈，而且会好好闹一场。他对这两个粗心恶毒的家伙已经够耐心的了——他的这份耐心！他可不能老是这样——都瞧着吧，你们可要小心着，不要把他逗谯了！”

“你找到黑思克里夫了没有？你这个笨驴，”阚思睿打断他说。“你有没有照我吩咐的去找？”

“我倒宁愿去找马，”他回答道，“那样还有些意义。可是夜黑得跟烟囱一样，人和马你叫我到哪达去找！而且黑思克里夫也不会听我一叫就会跑过来——没准他会更听你的话呢！”

It was a very dark evening for summer: the clouds appeared inclined to thunder, and I said we had better all sit down; the approaching rain would be certain to bring him home without further trouble. However, Catherine would not be persuaded into tranquillity. She kept wandering to and fro, from the gate to the door, in a state of agitation which permitted no repose; and at length took up a permanent situation on one side of the wall, near the road: where, heedless of my expostulations and the growling thunder, and the great drops that began to plash around her, she remained, calling at intervals, and then listening, and then crying outright. She beat Hareton, or any child, at a good passionate fit of crying.

About midnight, while we still sat up, the storm came rattling over the Heights in full fury. There was a violent wind, as well as thunder, and either one or the other split a tree off at the corner of the building: a huge bough fell across the roof, and knocked down a portion of the east chimney-stack, sending a clatter of stones and soot into the kitchen-fire. We thought a bolt had fallen in the middle of us; and Joseph swung on to his knees, beseeching the Lord to remember the patriarchs Noah and Lot, and, as in former times, spare the righteous, though he smote the ungodly. I felt some sentiment that it must be a judgment on us also. The Jonah, in my mind, was Mr. Earnshaw; and I shook the handle of his den that I might ascertain if he were yet living. He replied audibly enough, in a fashion which made my companion vociferate, more clamorously than before, that a wide distinction might be drawn between saints like himself and sinners like his master. But the uproar passed away in twenty minutes, leaving us all unharmed; excepting Cathy, who got thoroughly drenched for her obstinacy in refusing to take shelter, and standing bonnetless and shawlless to catch as much water as she could with her hair and clothes. She came in and lay down on the settle, all soaked as she was, turning her face to the back, and putting her hands before it.

那个夏季的傍晚比以往显得非常暗。天上的阴云看上去像是将要打雷，我说大家最好还是都坐下来——眼看着马上要下雨了，他很快就会回家，不用我们再费工夫去找他。但是我没办法劝说阚思睿使她安静下来。她一直在院门和屋门之间来回徘徊，焦躁不安，片刻也不肯休息，最后终于在靠近路上一面墙边站住纹丝不动。她不听我的忠告，不顾那隆隆雷声，任凭硕大雨点开始在她周围哗啦哗啦落下，她就呆呆站在那儿，时不时喊叫一下，然后听上一会儿，接着嚎啕大哭。她这声充满激情的嚎啕大哭盖过海瑞腾或者其他任何一个孩子的哭声。

大约夜半时分，我们还都坐在正屋，狂风暴雨怒吼着，在呼啸山庄上空隆隆作响。一股猛烈的狂风刮过，同时一阵惊雷响起，不知是风还是雷，只听咔嚓一声，屋角有棵树应声倒下了。一根粗大的树干掉下来压到房顶上，房顶东边的烟囱也被打下一块，砖石瓦块和煤灰哗啦啦一堆掉落在厨房的炉火中。我们还以为闪电落在了我们中间，周思福旋即双膝跪下，祈求上帝不要忘记诺亚和罗得。而且，更像从前一样，虽然他要打击不敬神的人，但却要赦免正义之人。我也多少感到这一定也是我们应该遭受的报应。在我心里，约拿就是俄韶老爷。我就摇摇他小屋的门把手，想确认他是否还活着。他答话的声音隐约可闻，周思福嚷得比之前声音更大了，好像要在像他自己这样的圣人和像少爷这样的有罪之人之间划出一道大大的分界线。但是一刻多钟后，这场喧闹过去了，我们全都安全无恙。阚思除外，由于她的牛脾气，不肯避雨，淋得浑身湿透，她帽子也不戴，肩巾也不披，站在雨中，任凭雨水把她的头发和衣服淋湿。她走了进来，躺在高背椅上，浑身浸透，她把脸对着椅背，双手放在面前。