纪念一位未曾见面的好友 （二）

在快克沙和许多其他网友的要求下我从我干爹哪里要来了这桢照片， 可以看出陶陶是一个清秀而细腻的女人。

陶陶生前敬佩这一对美国黑人老人家，与他们取得了联系。除了请他们过目文章，还寄上了这张照片。

陶陶的去世，使这对老人万分的悲痛，特别请我带他们向所有关心陶陶的中国朋友们致谢。

陶陶，请你走好。。。。。

My American Mother
(By Tao-Tao)

It’s Mother’s Day again. I have read a lot of articles either in honour of or in commemorating of Mum. I do not want to be in the same swim. Here I want to do something different: to write an article to praise my God Mother because she is my American mum.

My God Mother is a black American. She is kind, pretty and capable. She is a celebrity. She was not only a professor in Business Department, but also the Chair of Association of Black Women’s Association Entrepreneurs of Los Angeles. She was invited many times to appear on the Oprah Winfrey Talk Show and every year on the Martin Luther King Day she was fully engaged.

I got to know my God Mother through my God Father. But in fact I established the relationship with my God Father after I got to know my American mum. This traced back to the first month after I arrived in America 25 years ago. I was one of the earliest Chinese students who went to America to further my study. Although I was sent by the government, I had to support my study financially myself. This created a financial problem. The moment the plane landed, I borrowed from others four thousand dollars and paid my tuition fees, then I was empty handed, nothing to eat, nothing to drink. Thanks to my robust health, I lived for two weeks on half a box of snack noodles picked up from the rubbish bin, chewing it every day with cold water. At that time I did not understand any English in the class, and outside class I did not know anyone. Calculating the days that two ends could not meet, thinking of the hope and entrust from home, and under great mental and financial pressure, I fell ill. High fever, stomach ulcer, and skin allergy attacked me all at once. First the high fever burned me unconscious, and then the hole in the stomach was so painful that I almost died of it, and at last the all body skin was dark and rotten. I was like a strong sorghum suddenly attached by the hail, shrank drastically within a month, withered, rotten, and was about to vanish in the field.

One day after I struggled to finish my class, I dragged my exhausted body, sitting on the cold cement floor, almost slept in. Except a few flies flying around my pale yellow face and the stinky body from the ulcer, people all detoured to pass me. At this moment, a black American woman came to me, judging from her simple but appropriate dress, her pretty, natural and graceful face, I knew immediately that she was not a general staff of the school. She came up to me, touched my head and looked at my face. She even rolled up my sleeve to check my rotten skin. When she roughly knew that I was a new student from China, she made a phone call. The first person arrived was the Dean of Engineering School. Without any hesitation the two of them sent me to a hospital. From their conversation I got to know that the middle-aged woman was my dean’s wife. She blamed that the dean was too ignorant of me and criticized the school’s inconsiderateness to our life. After I left the hospital the couple took me to their home.

Our Dean was the first black dean in American universities and also the first dean of an Engineering School. He had very high prestige at the university and among friends because of his profound knowledge and dignified personal appearance. Even so he listened to his wife both at home and outside of home. In the following two months, the dean agreed with his wife and did two things: first he lobbied at school to exempt my whole tuition fees until I graduated; second, he found me a full time job at the school’s workshop for every summer until I graduated.

Both my God Mum and Dad were very successful, and were regarded as leaders by their friends and in the local black community. But they do not have any child. After half a year, they officially asked me to be their adopted son. Many years later I asked my adopted mum: “Why are you so nice to me?” She replied: “Anyone will help you under that condition at that time.” “Probably” she smiled before she finished her words, “that is our fate.”

Both my God Mum and Dad are from a very poor family and they suffered a lot when they were young. My adopted dad was very smart when he was little. He worked hard to support his study and became one of the earliest PhDs among the blacks in the US. They struggled all the way, step by step to the upper class of the society. Therefore they have special feelings towards poor people, particularly those students from developing countries. My dad retired when he was 70. At his retirement ceremony, I was asked by the university to tell the rarely known story. People present were moved to tears by the touching story. It is said that the new dean has started looking for his adopted son.

It has been 25 mother’s days since I was in the US. Without exception every mother’s day I went to visit my mum and dad. From when I was a bachelor who was always fed meals there, till I took my wife to get to know them, I hold my first kid and carried my second one on the back to get together with my adopted parents, and years later to invite them to attend my children’s graduation ceremonies. Like this, witnessed by Heaven, praised by the sea, we accompanied them for a quarter of a century.

My God parents are 80 now. Each time when my children call them grandma and grandpa, each time when my wife diagnoses and treats their disease, each time when we get together to enjoy the family happiness, my God Mum would always embrace me, wiping her tears and said: “I have been given a gift of a wonderful Chinese son!”

Because of my God Mum, I not only have a special affection to Chinese, I also have fostered a special favouritism to the blacks. Usually black people’s companies are small, and they have difficulty getting big tender projects. Some are lacking bidding and technical expertise. I found that sometimes they quoted a very low price in bidding. I tried my best to protect and help them. I mentioned in one of my articles that I went to watch a Lakers’ game at Staple Center. I sit behind of O’Neil and Kobe. I was invited to this game by a 1.95m tall black boss who said this was a “thank you entertainment gift”, because I helped him avoid a $200,000 US dollar business loss. My company had the highest percentage of awards in public projects to Black Companies in Los Angeles.

There is a folk song in China: “No one loves you as much as your mum does in this world. The child who has a mum is treasured.” I am very lucky: my Chinese mum gave me life and brought me up. In America, I found my American mum. She gave me today, and made me deeply rooted in America and strongly fell in love with America.

My dear American Mum, Happy Mother’s Day!

我的美国妈妈

一年一度的母亲节又到了，从网上读了很多纪念母亲或者是怀念母亲的文章，我就不凑热闹了。这里我别出另类， 写一篇文章歌颂我的干妈，因为她是我的美国妈妈。

我的干妈是个美国黑人。 她善良，美丽又能干。她还是一个名人，除了是大学的文学系教授之外，她还是洛杉矶黑人妇女协会的主席。她的演讲能力堪称一绝，曾多次被邀请上美国黑人著名主持人 Oprah Winfrey Show 的节目。每年的马丁路得纪念日更是她忙得不可开交的日子。

我认识干妈是通过干爹，而实际上是因为认了干妈才确立了我和干爹的关系。这话追溯到了 25 年前我留学到美国的第一个月。我属于是最早期到美国的中国留学生之一，虽说是公派留学却是自费，这就产生了一个经济问题。飞机落地我先借钱交了四千块的学费，然后是两手攥空拳，要吃没吃，要喝没喝。仗着自己的身体好，我在垃圾箱里捡了半箱过期的方便面，每天就凉水干咬，对付了两个星期。那时我是上课英文听不懂，下课谁人不认识。算算入不敷出的日子，想想亲人的嘱托和大家的期盼，在巨大的精神和金钱的双重压力下，我病倒了。高烧，胃溃疡和皮肤过敏三箭齐发。先是高烧把人烧得糊里糊度，然后是胃穿孔把你疼得死去活来，最后是全身皮肤发黑溃烂。我象一棵茁壮的高粱突然遭到了冰雹的袭击，在不到一个月的日子里快速地萎缩，枯竭， 腐烂，即将消失在地里。

一天挣扎着上完课， 我拖着疲惫的身体，坐在楼道冰凉的水泥地上昏昏欲睡。焦黄的脸色加上溃疡后发臭的身体除了几个苍蝇围着我打转，人们都绕道而行。这时一个黑人妇女走到我的面前停了下来， 她衣着朴实而得体，面容美丽又大方，一看就不是学校一般的工作人员。她走到我的面前，摸摸我的头，又看看我的脸。甚至挽起我的衣袖察看我溃烂的皮肤。当她粗略地知道我是刚来的中国留学生时立刻打了个电话。第一个赶到的是我们工学院的院长，二话没说他俩把我送到了医院。从他们的谈话中我才听出这位中年妇女是我们院长的太太。 他抱怨院长对我的疏忽，责怪学校对我们生活的不周。出院后院长夫妇把我接到了他们的家里。

我们的院长是全美大学的第一个黑人院长。他学识超人的背景和堂堂正义的仪表使他在学校享有很高的威望。但他还是听太太的， 在外面听在家里更听。院长在随后的一个月里答应太太并且做到了两件事：第一，他到学校游说申请免去了我到毕业以前的全部学费。第二，他为我在工学院的工厂固定了每个假期的全职工作，直到毕业。干爹和干妈的事业都非常成功， 在当地的黑人族裔和亲朋好友中他们也是领袖级人物， 可是他们没有孩子。半年后他们向我正式提出了认我做干儿子。多少年以后我问干妈“为什么对我这么好？”干妈说：“你当时那个样子谁都会帮助的。”不过，话没说完她也笑了：“我们有缘分吧。” 干妈和干爹双双出身贫苦，小的时候家里穷受了很多苦。干爹自小聪颖，打工挣钱上学，是美国黑人中最早的博士之一。他们是通过自己的艰苦奋斗一步一步地走上主流社会的。所以他们对穷人特别是来自发展中国家的学生有着特殊的感情。老院长在 70 岁时才退休。在他的退休仪式上学校让我上台讲述了这段鲜为人知的故事，赚取了场上场下很多人的眼泪。据说新任院长已经开始在寻找他的干儿子了。

我在美国一共渡过了 25 个母亲节，无一例外每个母亲节我们全家都是去看望干爹干妈。从我单身一人去蹭饭，到带着老婆去认门，到抱着老大背着老二去团聚，再到邀请他们参加我儿女的毕业典礼，就这样苍天做见证，大海唱赞歌，我们一家伴随着干爹和干妈走过了四分之一个世纪。干爹和干妈现已年逾八旬，每当他们听到我的儿女亲切地叫着“爷爷奶奶”，每当我的老婆为他们治病诊断，煮汤送饭，每当逢年过节我们一家团聚一堂，共享天伦之乐时，干妈都会擦着眼角的泪水，抱着我说：“至少这一辈子我们做对了一件事， 就是找到了一个中国儿子。”

因为干妈的缘故， 除了对中国人好，我的脑子里又多了对黑人的偏爱。在公司里我负责工程项目的招投标。圈里的人都知道我特别地偏袒中国人。一般分包竞标只要有中国人的公司或中国人当主管的公司在，一般都不会跑标。（你们知道就行了，千万别给我说出去。其实是因为中国人更吃苦耐劳，工作认真，精打细算罢了）再有就是特别地照顾黑人公司。他们一般公司规模比较小，人员流动大，所以很难拿到项目。特别是投标经验少，技术力量不足，往往还会出现投标过低的问题。我尽自己的最大能力保护他们， 帮助他们。 我在一篇文章中曾提到我到湖人的主场坐在奥尼尔和科比的后面观看比赛，就是一个一米九五高的黑人老板带我去的， 说是为了感激我为他们公司避免了 20 万美金的损失。我们的公司连续多少年黑人族裔的中标率在洛杉矶都名列前茅。

有首歌唱得好：世上只有妈妈好，有妈的孩子像个宝。我很幸运， 中国的妈妈生养了我，抚育了我。到了美国又遇到了美国的妈妈，她使我有了今天，使我扎根美国并且爱上了美国。

干妈，母亲节快乐。

北奥（本作品是写实回忆，绝无虚构）