Early Dating, Teen Sexuality, & Respect for Women
在网上流览, 读到一篇谈亚裔少男是否应该早恋的文章. 华人父母一般习惯阻止孩子早恋, 文中作者说, 考虑到在北美的特殊环境, 家长应鼓励男生早点开始dating, 否则, 孩子在同伴眼中就落伍. 因为家中有少男, 对这种话题, 就忍不住要注目读下去. 我觉得因为每一个个体成长成熟速度都不同, 每一个孩子所面对的社会环境也不尽相同, 何时让孩子开始他们的 romantic relationship 尽可以随缘. 最重要的是有一个健康的心态. 这是个见仁见智的问题, 父母们由此多一些思考也好. 直到读到这么一句话, 让我忍不住插了一句言, 引来一场舌战.平时不擅论争,不过, 对一些基本的行为准则,还是要分清是非吧. 对了, 任何同另一个人的交往,包括友情, 亲情,爱情,都涉及到尊重他人. 尊敬他人,也就是尊爱自己. Is this a moral issue? Maybe it is.
[对方写道:
My reply:
You mean sex can be detached from emotion? Unbelievable.
"只配睡睡"? --why I think it wrong--it's a gross disrespect for females. As a female myself, I don't understand why a mother would teach her son to not respect someone he is about to have sex with.
If you don't think this person is worthy of your respect, don't go to bed (have sex) with her at all.
Parents should teach their children (sons and daughters) not to yield to peer pressure in a rush to lose their virginity without much of thinking of emotion (love).
Do onto others as you would wish them do onto you--has the golden rule lost its validity today?
[对方的回答 : 这种道貌岸然的道德高调，谁不会唱，要你提醒吗？
圣人啊，请你使鄙人我理解一下，为什么这世界有不平等啊？
为什么 ASIAN MEN 要比其他白男人做得好 3 倍，才能 IMPRESS 大众啊？
你是说你从来不 FIGHT BACK 吗？
你知道吗？有些白女人，同男人结婚的目的就是为了赡养费？]
My reply:
Oh, please, I thought I had freedom of speech!
If you don’t want to listen, you may tune me out; if you own this forum then I may leave. Just let me know. Is it “ 道貌岸然的道德高调”? I think it’s bottom line. To have some decency-- If I know my son has one of those girl friends like ” 有些白女人，同男人结婚的目的就是为了赡养费 ”I would advise my son to keep away from her, but not first have sex with her and then abandon her.
Indeed the society has not reached racial equality yet, we need fight back against any racial discrimination and prejudice, but is that the way you fight “racism”? Is it a good idea to fight racism with your own racism? Look what you said here: “ 说露骨点，有些白女人就只配睡睡”—this is a blatant racist statement!
White or black, yellow or peach, women are women. Women deserve respect.
Teaching our sons to be respectful of other sex (that’s women) is more important for them to have sexual experience and win the popularity contest with their peers. Fight against racial inequality, but don't do it at the cost of women.