静静

This is a story of Jingjing. Jing means quiet, and her last name is bear, her middle name means time. 熊时静, yes, she was a quiet girl always smiling…so sometimes I’d like to call her ginger bear, a cute ginger baby bear. She was disabled since birth --- paralysed legs, then, abandoned after birth by her parents, a couple adopted her and paid for her to go to school for several years. So, she knew how to read. Then the adoptive parents passed away too, she was sent to the orphanage…a welfare house for children as we call this kind of organization. 

 

Then she grew up, until a certain age that she must leave the place. Someone from the Church where my mom goes told her about God, then she accepted Jesus Christ as her savior, the volunteers contributed lots of time to find a place, a nursing house for senior persons to accept her, she moved there.

 

Little by little she found the bumps appeared on her skin: arms, chest, abdomen, inside the eyes, palms, back…friends talked to the doctor, a surgery was made to remove the bumps: mission failed. Worse, she was then paralyzed from the neck down.

 

So, a welfare house for homeless senior persons, and Ginger Bear less than 25 years old. She shared room with 2 grandmas, when an old grandma left, a new grandma came, some grandmas left midnight, some grandmas sleep walked, and she told me : “I’m not afraid”, by writing. At night they kept the light on the whole night, every night, because rats came and bit everything in the dark. I mean EVERYTHING, the cookies as well as human fresh, because Ginger couldn’t feel that.

 

Ah, par ou je recommence mon recit? From where should I continue my story? From the Dragon Boat Festival maybe? Mom made us some delicious Zongzi, and txted Jingjing: “wanna eat?” Jingjing was happy – Yes! So I drove Mom to “old people home” – it’s my first time to meet Ginger. Before going, Mom was kind of proud of herself: “Jingjing really enjoys my visit! ‘cuz other people all bring her lots of food at one time, and she couldn’t finish them, but I just bring her fewer…” Mom was so naively adorable when she prononced these words!

 

So it’s not far from where my parents live, a tiny room, dark, 3 wood beds, all looked old, shabby, but clean. Ginger on bed and she smiled when she saw us. She just held my mom’s hand, Mom peeled a zongzi and fed her, she took the zongzi and ate by herself, but as soon as she finished, she held mom’s hand again.

 

“pray?” Mom asked me.

 

“OK.” I said. That means we would leave.

 

It was our first visit.

 

I do not want to be sentimental and try to touch your guys heart by using some literary techniques of Romantism such as describing Ginger as pretty girl. She was ok, just like us. I could saw a bump appeared in her left eye, that made one of her eyes bigger, and one smaller. I touched her arm, and could saw bumps everywhere…and she pointed her chest, that means: “here comes a new one.” She bearly could hear, bearly could speak, so we communicated mostly by writing…but she had pretty hair, short and very, very black, it’s like…guys you know…it’s like her life came out from her hair, Mom told me she used to have long hair, but when she was send to the old-people-home, the nurses cut it, for no one would wash her hair everyday in the summer, obvisouly there was no air-conditionner. And Mom said she cried when hair cut the first time, but after that she smiled: “that’s cooler”, this was what she said.

 

I think, Smile is the best word I want to use to describe Ginger, she was always smiling – ok fine, for most of time – no complaints – for most of time.

 

Then when I came back from Hangzhou I wanted to visit her again, so Mom and I went. This time I brought her a doll, a Chinese BarbieJ

 

You wouldn’t think Ginger stayed in the bed dreaming all the day right? No she communicated with people via QQ, a chatting software, and she read a lot. The church brought her a cellphone, she used it everyday and you can bearly read anything from the screen, the model was too old.

 

So when I came back I asked if any of my friends had the 2^nd hand cellphone that I could take to Ginger. I got one, and I bought a SF card, and I installed many apps, drawing pad, books, QQ, weather, piano keyboard…last Wednesday I visited her alone without Mom, and I also brought her 2 cooling pads that she could put under her back. Without Mom I took her hand in my hands, her hand was cold and no sweat. I taught her how to use the new cell, and to me it’s a surprise to hear that she “told” me she read “this” and “that”, basically lots of love stories, the girl-literature, something about all the stupid princes fall in love with one stupid girl, and they fight for her…Ah…I told myself, Ginger was not banned from the Real World, Oh my God she also read that! Just like us! I put my cellphone number in the new cell, as well as Mom’s, and when I asked her if she wanted me to transfer the numbers from her old cell to the new cell, she refused: “no one calls me”. That’s right, we used QQ and text message.

 

By the way I have her QQ number, her QQ name is 夕颜, a humble wild flower that fades with sunset, the literary translation is: Crepuscule face, a face in the Crepuscule, a lovely, lovely Narcisse.

 

I tried to put myself into sleep this noon, and it was so hard…I finally found the beautiful dreamer came to me thievishly when suddenly my cell rang. “shit!”

 

It was from the welfare house, a women’s voice told me Ginger passed away one hour ago.

 

“What?!”

 

“She passed away.”

 

“…by…what caused…?”

 

The voice: “high fever lasted for several days and she passed away at around 12:30pm. We couldn’t reach anyone but you, your number is in her cellphone. Could you please tell the church about that? ”

 

“Sure but...how could it happen?”

 

She repeated: “high fever…we couldn’t keep her remains, it’s too hot…we’ve already called the funeral parlor to come…they will come soon…”

 

So it is an announcement. Just tell the sisters and brothers of the church, we have no right to doubt, to ask, well, no one would answer my doubts, my questions.

 

Then 2 hours later came the second call: “just want to let you know that she remains will be sent to the funeral parlor soon, and since she is an orphan, they will cremate her body immediately, and they will not keep the ashes.”

 

 

I wanted to do so much for Ginger, time is quiet, Bear bears the silence in the river of time. I wanted to take some beautiful pictures for her, I wanted to buy her some KFC fried chicken wings, one bottle of orange juice, I brought back the long straw that Judson asked me to bring back to her, and she said smiling: “ah that’s too long…but how cute!”she asked me last Thursday how to download a new desktop, and it was our last conversation, I sent her a qq message yesterday asking her if she had any problems with her new cell, she didn’t reply…high fever attacked her several times before, and we never knew this time, it was the time pre-destinated by God. I wish God could give me a sign so that I could visit her before she left.

 

But, she can walk, dance, fly and sing now in the heaven, just like Lazarus in Abraham’s bosom, just like that poem: “people like the moth, of mechlin frames…”, just like a love story: the princess live happily ever after…

 

This is the story of Jingjing, Ginger Bear, I am bad at narrating so I guess I will end my story by “how old was she?”

 

I don’t know.