那么关于我们的honey moon，或许还有些值得回忆。比方说Ling or Lyana总是很乐意
分享一些她在政治上的见解。
明年大选你支持谁呢？
都有谁呢？
Come on, Republicans or Democrats?
他们都干了些什么？
他们都他妈在不停的打。Republicans在打中东的伊拉克，Democrats在打子宫里的胚胎。
So I’ll go for Republicans.
That’s bull shit. You know what, I’m always amazed by how ignorant people
are here, in this most developed country on the earth.
If you’re amazed by that, maybe it means you are just one of them.
Oh thank you, Mr. Good Night.
You’re welcome, Mrs. Good Night.
But sometimes we may have other topics. 实际上，Ling or Lyana看过的好莱坞电
影或TV show之数目种类，几乎可以冠绝全美。我甚至疑心她在所谓的lab里整天到底在
干些什么。她谈论起好莱坞的那些鸟男女们如数家珍。当然，她永远不变的偶像就是那
位以嘴大而著名的女人。
关于这个女人，我的看法是好莱坞嘴大的女人绝不仅仅她一个。
关于这个女人，Tony的评论则更令人叫绝：白天她之所以看起来像个Queen，是因为夜
里她就是个Whore。
我相信Tony没有夸大其词。因为每年夏季的某个时候，该死的NY就成了个汽车马达。
Tony就会跑到比佛利山庄那一带去避暑。而每次避暑，除了几个小弟，陪伴他的必有一
个好莱坞娘们儿。通常来讲，这位Ms. Hollywood最好在一周之后就赶紧走人。因为
Tony对任何女人的耐心或曰绅士风度，绝不会超过一个星期。然而这位大嘴好莱坞女人
却是个例外。她居然在Tony的那个别墅连住了十天。当然，最后三天她吸下去的
cocaine就剂量而言是头七天的五倍，而男伴也从一个换成了五个，从睡眼惺忪的Tony
换成了种马似的小弟。
你猜假若我把这些事讲出来，Ling or Lyana会怎么着？我也不知道她会怎么着。我猜
她肯定不会信的。Tony说的没错：女人需要的只是谎言，尽管她们口口声声说别骗我。
其实关于女人，Tony还有几个interesting comments，这里不妨拿出来share一下，反
正我的honey moon无聊之至。
Tony说：可以让女人抓住你的老二，但不可以让她抓住你的心。
I have to say this golden verse is really encouraging, only except that I
have only half of Mr. Little Simone left.
Tony还说：You can not live without a woman, but you can not live with a
woman.
此句大妙，at least for me. In the first half of my life, I put Mr. Little
Simone into numerous women, all sorts of women, but I never thought to live
with any of them. Now I am living with one, but I can not put Mr. Little
Simone in.
当Tony厌倦了身边的女人时，他会微笑着对她说：Sweet, you know that life will
move on until it can not move on, don't you?
See, this is Tony.
我有时真的很想看看what’s gonna happened when Ling or Lyana meets Tony.
人的一生很短暂，倘能遇见上面二位中的一个已属不易。然而我一遇就是两个。
Yes, this is my fucked up life.
也就是数星期之前，我还时时赞美Ling or Lyana的英语。可现在我最怕的就是她对我
张口讲话。
Simone, are you sure that you come fromNew York? Did you go to Broadway Show
? Did you go toCentral Park? Did you go toFifth Ave.? Did you go to Time
Square? Did you go to Wall Street? Did you go to Manhaton? No? Then why did
you tell me you come fromNew York, you big mouth liar? So where did you get
your accent? Which show? Tell me. Feed up my curiosity!
……
You know what Simone, you Americans are nothing but a bunch of ignorant,
stupid, lazy mother fuckers. Take a look at the supermarket. Everything is
made in my country. Toys, laptops, jeans, shoes, ipad, ipod, iphone……
everything, Simone, every-single-fucking-item! Look at the industry, who is
working in the weekend? Look at the theater, who is watching the most stupid
movie eating tons of buttered pop corns? You guys are done! Your time is
fucking gone! Faith, freedom, human rights, democracy, American dreams, big
houses……Fuck that! It’s all bull shit. I don’t buy it. I won’t give a
fuck at all. Let nigger Obama or white pig Bush jerk off himself in his
White House. Screw you, screw all of you, you hypo cock suckers!
……
I guess you know that, and I hope you know that. The only reason why I stay
in this shitty house and lie down on that boring bed is the damn green card.
I work like a robust on the day, and I live like a zombie on the night. Why
? Because of the damn green card! For me you are like a piece of wood, a
spider, a radio……oh, I’m sorry, did I hurt you, darling? No? Fine, good,
cause now I’m gonna tell you the truth, a radio could even tell some funny
jokes! You are like the air, the air that can eat, shit and sleep. Seriously
, Simone, I don’t get it. Why don’t you shoot yourself? Where’s your gun?
Is it a toy or replica?
……
当然，我们也不光把时间专注在二人世界上。我们也有我们的社交活动。其中最值得一
提的是Ling or Lyana亲自操办的house warming party.
照她的说法，这个居所是在她搬进来之后才可以称作house的，以前只不过是个糟老头
子的单身公寓罢了。所以，house warming party的title当然应该归在她的名下。具体
讲，她将是房子的女主人，我则变成了她的一位朋友，一位从NY到香槟来出差的忘年交
。她还给我预备了一份听起来很体面的职业，a writer。至于客人的名单嘛，她也没客
气，全权一手操办。
结果那天真是高朋满座。女人。一大堆各种各样乱七八糟的女人：Chinese, Koreans,
Taiwanees, Hong-Kongness, African Americans, American Born Chinese, American
Born Koreans, Americans, Midwest Americans, chicks, married, mums, singles,
bitches……除了我之外，男性只有两位：脸蛋漂亮的小老乡见习神父和Ling or
Lyana的Mr. Ex.
见习神父舌功了得，笑容腼腆。如果说那天晚上Ling or Lyana是女一号，那他就是男
一号。他和Ling or Lyana频频捧杯。他邀请她要常去church坐坐。她说是时候该亲近
我们的救主了。更重要的是，在这种社交场合，见习神父张弛有度。他只是和我简单寒
暄几句，压根儿就没提数星期之前的那桩婚事。
从那天起，Ling or Lyana开始频频出入见习神父的那个小church。我很能理解她。她
白天去church，是为了自己能活得不像个robust。到了晚上，为了能活得不像个zombie
，她则有时也会跑回自己原来的apt，去找那位Mr. Ex。
对了，我怎么差点儿把那个china man给忘了呢？就在house warming party的晚上，他
一连气儿喝下了十数罐听装啤酒，瘫在我后院的草坪上。
而就在那块草坪上，我和他开始了我们的fellowship。
