I sat in the waiting room with one other applicant. He was older than me by
about ten years. Judging by our clothes, it was clear that we were taking
different approaches to this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
He dressed professionally. Black suit, white shirt, striped tie. His dress
shoes were polished, and their shine matched well with that of his belt
buckle.
I dressed casually. Blue jeans. Sneakers. A brown collared sweater that hid
the geeky maroon “Computer Wizard” t-shirt that I was using as an
undershirt.
I was trying to dress the part. I had heard that Google’s dress code was
simply “You must wear clothes,” so I wore something I might wear to the
office if I got the job. Sitting across from Mr. Business Suit, I started
wondering if I made a huge mistake.
For whatever reason, Mr. Business Suit hadn’t acknowledged my presence
since I arrived. He sat cross-legged with a magazine in his lap, half-
heartedly thumbing through it without looking up. He kept this up until the
Hiring Manager opened the door to the adjacent office and called his name:
“Don?”
Don set his magazine down and stood up.
“Good luck,” I said hopefully.
He nodded at me and followed the Hiring Manager out of the room. I took
pleasure noticing that the Hiring Manager wore sneakers and jeans.
Now that I was the only applicant left in the room, I started reviewing the
materials I brought with me to the interview. In my “Portfolio” (a thin 3-
ring binder) I had:
Loose copies of my resume
How-To Instructions and Screenshots from three of my Open Source
Projects
Two Letters of Recommendation from previous Employers
A Thank You Card that I planned to mail immediately following the
interview
I imagined that I had at least ten minutes until the Hiring Manager asked
for me. I was therefore surprised when a petite woman entered the room and
called my name: “Shaun?”
“Yes?”
“I’m Stacy,” she said, extending her arm.
I stood up, tucked the Portfolio under my arm, and shook her hand.
“Shaun Boyd. How do you do?”
“Just fine, thanks. I have good news for you.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“Your application has been fast-tracked. I’ll be giving you a quick tour
of our facility, and then I’ll introduce you to the team that’s interested
in your background.”
“Oh my, that is good news,” I said through a huge smile. “How exciting!”
“Definitely. Follow me.”
As I followed her through the double doors and down the corridor, Stacy
filled me in on what being “fast-tracked” meant. She explained that I
still needed to be interviewed, but because my application was unanimously
selected by an existing project team I was exempt from the first-tier “
initial screening” interview. I would start at the second-tier interview,
which would be conducted by current members of the team I might be working
with. Stacy, a Senior Hiring Manager, would sit in during this interview to
see how I interacted with the team members, and to answer any HR questions I
might have about the position.
Stacy led me into her office and told me to have a seat. She typed an
instant message onto her screen, sent it, and then proceeded to copy and
paste the same message to four or five other people. She toggled through the
responses for a few minutes before speaking to me again.
“We have almost 30 minutes until the entire team will be available to meet
with you. Would you like to join me for some Free Lunch in the cafeteria?”
“Absolutely,” I said.
The cafeteria was intimidating. Nearly every station had at least half-a-
dozen Google employees in line for their Free Lunch. Since they were already
familiar with the selection and ordering process, they moved around the
cafeteria with ease while I stood in place holding an empty tray. Stacy
pointed to the different stations, told me the type of cuisine that was
served there, and encouraged me to not be shy.
“Everything is always free, tasty, and nutritious,” she said, more or less
reciting everything I had heard about Google’s cafeteria verbatim.
I got into the line for Chinese cuisine. I asked for a helping of General
Tso’s Chicken over white rice. The chef asked me if I’d like some orange
slices to go with my entree, and I said “Yes please!”
I joined Stacy at a round table in the center of the cafeteria. She
introduced me to Tom and Anu, two of the team members who would be
interviewing me once we finished our lunch. She then busted my chops a
little by telling them how I chose to get Free Lunch instead of a tour of
the facility, but they said I made the right choice. Anu scolded me for not
taking advantage of the Slurpee machine.
Tom asked about the Portfolio I was carrying. I paged through it briefly,
and explained that it was basically a detailed addendum to my application. I
said that I’d like to show it to the entire team during the interview, if
they’d be interested. He gave me the impression that they would be.
Once we finished lunch, we returned our trays and left the cafeteria. The
four of us rode the elevator up together and got off on the floor where the
meeting with the entire team would take place. I followed Stacy around a
corner and through a large wooden door.
I stepped onto the boat and felt disoriented. I suddenly found myself on a
sailboat with my father, in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, rocking
violently in a complete mess of a thunderstorm. My dad was signaling for me
to grab the lines near the bow, but before I could grab a hold of them a
giant wave crashed into the broad side of the boat and knocked me overboard.
Right before I hit the surface of the water, I woke up.
…
I’m jobless in Michigan. For the past month, I’ve been relentlessly
applying to and interviewing for various local jobs with little to no
success. As of last night, the job hunting process has permeated my
subconscious mind to the point where I’m literally dreaming about it.
What I experienced in my dream was so vivid that I felt compelled to share
it above. No, it never happened. No, it’s not an accurate representation of
the application and interview process at Google. It is, however, more
interesting than my recent experiences in the real world.
If I misled you, I’m sorry. I just wanted to take a break from writing
cover letters to write something enjoyable. I hope some readers will enjoy
reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.