LZ is talking about chemistry vs. compatibility. Without chemistry (the so-
called love), two people probably would not even start the relationship. But
chemistry can not hold the relationship for very long without
compatibilities. There is a book written by eharmony's founder. He was
saying couples need to be compatible in 30+ traits to be able to hold the
relationship. Otherwise, everyday life is suffering, tolerating the other
person. It is not sustainable. He also talks about commitment. If both
people are committed to resolve issues, to keep the relationship, the
relationship is less likely to fail. So finding a soulmate is basically
finding someone who is just like you, so the conflict will be minimized in
the long run. In a long term relationship, being able to tolerate the other
person is more important than chemistry, physical love or attraction. The
latter is more important in the early stage of a relationship.