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说句实在话,女孩想结婚生自己的娃得赶早
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说句实在话,女孩想结婚生自己的娃得赶早# Piebridge - 鹊桥
l*0
1
如题
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d*0
2
thank you all for the support. I write this is not to seek sympathy. It's a
way to tell my dear son how I feel about him and why mammy made that
decision. I know people will say I'm so cruel and the worst person on earth
and deserve the punishment. I'm not complaining because it's my choice so
what ever the consequence it is, I take them. When we find out that I'm
pregnant after taking the prescription drug, we consulted 4 doctors and all
of them saying that I'm fine since I'm in the "all or non
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l*1
3
不要天真到某影星40岁能生儿子,就以为自己能行。真想类比,去看看国内各大IVF
中心等手术的队伍。
女人卵巢储备生下来原始卵泡的数量就定了,年龄越大数量越少质量也越差,35岁以
后是最差的。最可怜的就是20多岁的女孩就有卵巢功能早衰的那种,卵子都产不了,
天天给科学烧香也没用。
现在IVF的成功率不高,其中一个有待回答的问题就是IVF手术婴儿是否和平常婴儿有差
异?特别是生育能力。这个没有目前还没有定论,但临床医生很多都倾向于试管婴儿的
生育能力以后可能也会较差。
当然了,如果用年轻女孩的赠卵做IVF,你等40岁以后生都没有问题,其他生殖器官
的衰退相对与卵子质量衰退而言比较缓慢。
所以不计较生自个的娃,大龄剩女们可以再挑个10年,8年没问题, 到时候找年轻MM捐卵.
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j*o
4
这俩应该一样
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p*d
5
Big bless, may your baby rest in peace.
You will have a healthy baby next time. Take good care!
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m*e
6
男的也这样,卵子是出生时就有的,精子是临时分裂的,年纪越大,分裂次数越多,变
异可能性越大,质量越低。
年纪大了,不论男女,生育能力上大家彼此彼此,加上孩子不是生下来就算的,父母要
担当养育的社会功能,所以老人家的话“有仔趁嫩生”是对的。。。负责任的做法是一
定年纪后就不应该再梦想做父母。
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l*0
7
一个是学校给的 一个是移民局给的?
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m*1
8
如果你要医生保证百分之百完美, 100%不可能有唐氏/神经管裂, 没有医生和任何医学办法可以负责任地保证. 选择生育养育孩子就是选择机会和风险.只能说你还没有准备好做母亲.
从你叙述的来看孩子出生后没有明显脊裂. 不知道你是否对这个孩子做了尸检, 可以对下一个孩子的健康几率提供一点信息.
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d*y
9
相反,以下这个link说明,男性到40岁生育能力都是很高的,直到50岁,才有1/3的人
精子数量会减少。2/3的人即使到了50岁精子数量根本不会减少。当然,精子质量会下
降。而女性,过35岁,卵子数量急剧下降。
http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/best-age-to-get-pregnant.html
http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-male-biological-clock-its-tick-
个人感觉,从生育能力上来看,女性35岁相当于男性50岁。

【在 m**********e 的大作中提到】
: 男的也这样,卵子是出生时就有的,精子是临时分裂的,年纪越大,分裂次数越多,变
: 异可能性越大,质量越低。
: 年纪大了,不论男女,生育能力上大家彼此彼此,加上孩子不是生下来就算的,父母要
: 担当养育的社会功能,所以老人家的话“有仔趁嫩生”是对的。。。负责任的做法是一
: 定年纪后就不应该再梦想做父母。

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g*n
10
Big big bless for your baby boy! Take care of yourself!
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m*e
11
嗯,只管生,不管养。
难道不知道“有娘生,无爹教”是骂人的话吗?
而且数量和质量不是一回事。

【在 d*********y 的大作中提到】
: 相反,以下这个link说明,男性到40岁生育能力都是很高的,直到50岁,才有1/3的人
: 精子数量会减少。2/3的人即使到了50岁精子数量根本不会减少。当然,精子质量会下
: 降。而女性,过35岁,卵子数量急剧下降。
: http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/best-age-to-get-pregnant.html
: http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-male-biological-clock-its-tick-
: 个人感觉,从生育能力上来看,女性35岁相当于男性50岁。

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p*o
12
真的是很艰难的选择. bless for the baby.
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n*y
13
为什么又贴了一遍呢。。。lz还是move on吧
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L*e
14
BLESS
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f*i
15
内容不一样的。不过昨天的那贴那里去了?

【在 n***y 的大作中提到】
: 为什么又贴了一遍呢。。。lz还是move on吧
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u*l
16
big bless!!
楼主mm不要自责了,这种事情都是轮到谁头上都是很难抉择的。
好好养好身体,为下一个宝宝做好准备吧。
May your baby rest in peace!
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A*e
17
估计是被骂得太惨,楼主删了
which makes this post really hypocritical

【在 f****i 的大作中提到】
: 内容不一样的。不过昨天的那贴那里去了?
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r*l
18
为什么要拍呢
这种事情摊在你们自己头上,能这么轻松说一定会生下来吗?
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c*o
19
Big Bless. I think you already tried very hard. Don't blame yourself too
much.
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c*r
20
lz删贴了,不过其他帖子都在:)

【在 A******e 的大作中提到】
: 估计是被骂得太惨,楼主删了
: which makes this post really hypocritical

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b*s
21
bless~~~
it is so sad, but don't blame yourself. it is not your fault. you are just
unlucky, like many many other unfortunate families. and people who are less
fortunate should not be judged by those with an easier life.
you will have a healthy baby soon.

a
earth
all
neural

【在 d***0 的大作中提到】
: thank you all for the support. I write this is not to seek sympathy. It's a
: way to tell my dear son how I feel about him and why mammy made that
: decision. I know people will say I'm so cruel and the worst person on earth
: and deserve the punishment. I'm not complaining because it's my choice so
: what ever the consequence it is, I take them. When we find out that I'm
: pregnant after taking the prescription drug, we consulted 4 doctors and all
: of them saying that I'm fine since I'm in the "all or non

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h*9
22
bless

a
earth
all
neural

【在 d***0 的大作中提到】
: thank you all for the support. I write this is not to seek sympathy. It's a
: way to tell my dear son how I feel about him and why mammy made that
: decision. I know people will say I'm so cruel and the worst person on earth
: and deserve the punishment. I'm not complaining because it's my choice so
: what ever the consequence it is, I take them. When we find out that I'm
: pregnant after taking the prescription drug, we consulted 4 doctors and all
: of them saying that I'm fine since I'm in the "all or non

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e*c
23
Agree with mitbbser1. But, I really don't understand why she gave up the
baby just because he has cleft lip? According to her own statement, there is
no strong indication of 唐氏/神经管裂. And, no doctor can promise 100%
accuracy. LZ's words made me feel that she already made up her mind
subconsciously but wanted stronger reasons to justify the decision.
I feel for LZ. But my heart goes to the poor baby who already started
kicking.

和任何医学办法可以负责任地保证. 选择生育养育孩子就是选择机会和风险.只能说
你还没有准备好做母亲.
可以对下一个孩子的健康几率提供一点信

【在 m*******1 的大作中提到】
: 如果你要医生保证百分之百完美, 100%不可能有唐氏/神经管裂, 没有医生和任何医学办法可以负责任地保证. 选择生育养育孩子就是选择机会和风险.只能说你还没有准备好做母亲.
: 从你叙述的来看孩子出生后没有明显脊裂. 不知道你是否对这个孩子做了尸检, 可以对下一个孩子的健康几率提供一点信息.

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h*e
24
I am usually a silent reader here. When I read your post yesterday, I cried,
for you and your son. It was a very very difficult situation and no one
should judge you for what you did. Please move on and wish your son rest in
peace. Better luck next time. Don't let the guilt overtake you. Life is
never fair, as a mother to be, you have to be strong. God Bless you.
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m*7
25
I think those who blamed LZ are really hypocritical.

【在 A******e 的大作中提到】
: 估计是被骂得太惨,楼主删了
: which makes this post really hypocritical

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m*7
26
Re this:
People who are less fortunate should not be judged by those with an easier
life.

less

【在 b*******s 的大作中提到】
: bless~~~
: it is so sad, but don't blame yourself. it is not your fault. you are just
: unlucky, like many many other unfortunate families. and people who are less
: fortunate should not be judged by those with an easier life.
: you will have a healthy baby soon.
:
: a
: earth
: all
: neural

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m*7
27
Amnio test indicated "significant risk"!

is

【在 e**c 的大作中提到】
: Agree with mitbbser1. But, I really don't understand why she gave up the
: baby just because he has cleft lip? According to her own statement, there is
: no strong indication of 唐氏/神经管裂. And, no doctor can promise 100%
: accuracy. LZ's words made me feel that she already made up her mind
: subconsciously but wanted stronger reasons to justify the decision.
: I feel for LZ. But my heart goes to the poor baby who already started
: kicking.
:
: 和任何医学办法可以负责任地保证. 选择生育养育孩子就是选择机会和风险.只能说
: 你还没有准备好做母亲.

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a*s
28
这也可以理解,她吃了处方药,本来就很担心会不会影响宝宝健康
我同意你说的,没人可以百分百确定,做母亲就是一个worry的过程
楼主mm,welcome to the club

is

【在 e**c 的大作中提到】
: Agree with mitbbser1. But, I really don't understand why she gave up the
: baby just because he has cleft lip? According to her own statement, there is
: no strong indication of 唐氏/神经管裂. And, no doctor can promise 100%
: accuracy. LZ's words made me feel that she already made up her mind
: subconsciously but wanted stronger reasons to justify the decision.
: I feel for LZ. But my heart goes to the poor baby who already started
: kicking.
:
: 和任何医学办法可以负责任地保证. 选择生育养育孩子就是选择机会和风险.只能说
: 你还没有准备好做母亲.

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a*s
29
另外建议一下,你们下一个宝宝,如果经济和保险允许的话,看能不能尽早约
ultrasound specialist,因为你们有过这个经历,应该是可以的
我有个朋友头一个宝宝有点问题,怀二宝的时候就找了specialist做三维彩超,看得非
常仔细,二宝很健康。大宝其实现在也catch up了。
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d*s
30
Many pregnancies end up in miscarriage, and whatever was done is done. I can
't imagine how hard it must have been for you both to give up the baby but
like you said, it was the best decision you could make at the time based on
the information you had. And that's the best anyone can do, and no one has
the right to judge you because they are not in your shoes. And at 21st week
it's not easy for the mom to go through an abortion.
Guilt is the one feeling that doesn't help, it is always difficult t

【在 d***0 的大作中提到】
: thank you all for the support. I write this is not to seek sympathy. It's a
: way to tell my dear son how I feel about him and why mammy made that
: decision. I know people will say I'm so cruel and the worst person on earth
: and deserve the punishment. I'm not complaining because it's my choice so
: what ever the consequence it is, I take them. When we find out that I'm
: pregnant after taking the prescription drug, we consulted 4 doctors and all
: of them saying that I'm fine since I'm in the "all or non

avatar
n*s
31
bless! you've made the decision, so just try to look forward.
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i*k
32
feeling guilt doesn't help you or anyone.
It's ok to feel sad and miss the baby. Many mothers experienced miscarriages
. For your own good, move on and look forward to future.
Your passed away baby would like to see you move on and have a good life too
.

a
earth
all
neural

【在 d***0 的大作中提到】
: thank you all for the support. I write this is not to seek sympathy. It's a
: way to tell my dear son how I feel about him and why mammy made that
: decision. I know people will say I'm so cruel and the worst person on earth
: and deserve the punishment. I'm not complaining because it's my choice so
: what ever the consequence it is, I take them. When we find out that I'm
: pregnant after taking the prescription drug, we consulted 4 doctors and all
: of them saying that I'm fine since I'm in the "all or non

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g*t
33
同情LZ,ignore 那些bull shits好了。
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g*t
34
你还是等你的孩子有各种毛病的时候,留作实验数据,为人民服务,给下一个孩子提供
信息吧。

和任何医学办法可以负责任地保证. 选择生育养育孩子就是选择机会和风险.只能说
你还没有准备好做母亲.
可以对下一个孩子的健康几率提供一点信息.

【在 m*******1 的大作中提到】
: 如果你要医生保证百分之百完美, 100%不可能有唐氏/神经管裂, 没有医生和任何医学办法可以负责任地保证. 选择生育养育孩子就是选择机会和风险.只能说你还没有准备好做母亲.
: 从你叙述的来看孩子出生后没有明显脊裂. 不知道你是否对这个孩子做了尸检, 可以对下一个孩子的健康几率提供一点信息.

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m*1
35
那倒不劳您操心, 我不打算再生了. 不过是建议LZ好好检查这一个, 看看是否有遗传因
素, 看看下一个孩子有没有可能受影响. LZ是还打算再要的吧.
本来这就是个人私事, 我有朋友(中国人)事后因为别的缘故才告诉我她的孩子兔唇, 已经补好了. 我完全看不出来. LZ说没听说过中国孩子兔唇的, 未免偏颇.
自己的决定自己担当, 到BBS来发泄不是好主意.
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r*6
36
May he rest in peace.
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b*e
37
Bless...
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o*d
38
有些人就是比较mean,往人伤口上洒盐。楼主不要往心里去。
没有发生在自己身上的事情,你有什么资格评论!实在是看不过去有些人。

已经补好了. 我完全看不出来. LZ说没听说过中国孩子兔唇的, 未免偏颇.

【在 m*******1 的大作中提到】
: 那倒不劳您操心, 我不打算再生了. 不过是建议LZ好好检查这一个, 看看是否有遗传因
: 素, 看看下一个孩子有没有可能受影响. LZ是还打算再要的吧.
: 本来这就是个人私事, 我有朋友(中国人)事后因为别的缘故才告诉我她的孩子兔唇, 已经补好了. 我完全看不出来. LZ说没听说过中国孩子兔唇的, 未免偏颇.
: 自己的决定自己担当, 到BBS来发泄不是好主意.

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s*5
39
怀老二,没当回事,15周的时候看了医生,之后三个月都因为各种原因没去看医生,结
果到28周才检查,医生说孩子胸腔积水,高危,让我做羊水穿刺,看是否是因为唐氏综
合症导致了胸腔积水。当时B超专家一边做着B超一边对我这样说。我躺在那里,心如刀
割。可是,做羊水穿刺又怎样,难道,真的有问题,我就放弃这个孩子吗?28周了,都
可以出生了。我对医生说,我不想做,之前的唐氏筛查是通过了的,我相信我的孩子没
问题,就算有问题,我也不会放弃他。
从28周,我每天都度日如年,每个做过母亲的人都能体会我的那份焦虑和希望混杂的复
杂情绪。之后,又发现我有ICP (孕期胆汁淤积),因为怀孕就不停止过剧烈的皮肤瘙
痒,更糟糕的是,孕期我又感染了巨细胞病毒(CMV),很有可能会传染给胎儿。胆汁
淤积,随时胎儿会在宫中窒息,如果孩子在宫内感染了巨细胞病毒,其结果就跟唐氏儿
差不多,只是更糟糕的是,孩子在3,4岁前逐渐失聪,失明,智障,发育障碍,想都不
敢想。搞笑的是,2月份血检CMV呈阳性,医生却没告诉我,不知道该感谢他们,还是应
该责怪他们。不告诉我,至少,让我的担心少了一种,也许,医生觉得,既然我决定无
论如何
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z*q
40
agree with mitbbser1.
即使做了羊穿,也只能排除有限的几种染色体异常,羊穿结果正常并不代表孩子没有先
天性疾病,很大一部分遗传病都是新生突变,没有家族史,光靠羊穿检查染色体根本无
法检测出来。选择要孩子就意味着要承担风险。
引产下来的孩子应该做遗传学分析,有助于为下一次怀孕提供信息。
事情已经发生了,决定已经做了,请lz尽快走出阴影,勇敢的迎接新生命。
祝福lz。
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z*q
41
希望所有的准妈妈都能像 seminole2005 一样,相信自己,相信宝宝。

【在 s**********5 的大作中提到】
: 怀老二,没当回事,15周的时候看了医生,之后三个月都因为各种原因没去看医生,结
: 果到28周才检查,医生说孩子胸腔积水,高危,让我做羊水穿刺,看是否是因为唐氏综
: 合症导致了胸腔积水。当时B超专家一边做着B超一边对我这样说。我躺在那里,心如刀
: 割。可是,做羊水穿刺又怎样,难道,真的有问题,我就放弃这个孩子吗?28周了,都
: 可以出生了。我对医生说,我不想做,之前的唐氏筛查是通过了的,我相信我的孩子没
: 问题,就算有问题,我也不会放弃他。
: 从28周,我每天都度日如年,每个做过母亲的人都能体会我的那份焦虑和希望混杂的复
: 杂情绪。之后,又发现我有ICP (孕期胆汁淤积),因为怀孕就不停止过剧烈的皮肤瘙
: 痒,更糟糕的是,孕期我又感染了巨细胞病毒(CMV),很有可能会传染给胎儿。胆汁
: 淤积,随时胎儿会在宫中窒息,如果孩子在宫内感染了巨细胞病毒,其结果就跟唐氏儿

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n*1
42
solute!
I had a miscarriage before I got pregnant with my son. We both decided as
long as there is a heartbeat can be developed this time, we will love this
child no matter what and be thankful to life. Therefore I refused to do any
test because we've decided they won't make any difference. Abortion is
never an option for us. We never thought about such things until I had the
miscarriage, empty sac, no heartbeat and wait for the miscarriage to happen.
It is dreadful.

【在 s**********5 的大作中提到】
: 怀老二,没当回事,15周的时候看了医生,之后三个月都因为各种原因没去看医生,结
: 果到28周才检查,医生说孩子胸腔积水,高危,让我做羊水穿刺,看是否是因为唐氏综
: 合症导致了胸腔积水。当时B超专家一边做着B超一边对我这样说。我躺在那里,心如刀
: 割。可是,做羊水穿刺又怎样,难道,真的有问题,我就放弃这个孩子吗?28周了,都
: 可以出生了。我对医生说,我不想做,之前的唐氏筛查是通过了的,我相信我的孩子没
: 问题,就算有问题,我也不会放弃他。
: 从28周,我每天都度日如年,每个做过母亲的人都能体会我的那份焦虑和希望混杂的复
: 杂情绪。之后,又发现我有ICP (孕期胆汁淤积),因为怀孕就不停止过剧烈的皮肤瘙
: 痒,更糟糕的是,孕期我又感染了巨细胞病毒(CMV),很有可能会传染给胎儿。胆汁
: 淤积,随时胎儿会在宫中窒息,如果孩子在宫内感染了巨细胞病毒,其结果就跟唐氏儿

avatar
y*1
43
赞SEMINOLE2005妈妈. 其实,LZ的标题写"I LOST MY DEAR SON". 我刚看标题给人的感
觉,就是孩子不幸自己流掉了.

【在 s**********5 的大作中提到】
: 怀老二,没当回事,15周的时候看了医生,之后三个月都因为各种原因没去看医生,结
: 果到28周才检查,医生说孩子胸腔积水,高危,让我做羊水穿刺,看是否是因为唐氏综
: 合症导致了胸腔积水。当时B超专家一边做着B超一边对我这样说。我躺在那里,心如刀
: 割。可是,做羊水穿刺又怎样,难道,真的有问题,我就放弃这个孩子吗?28周了,都
: 可以出生了。我对医生说,我不想做,之前的唐氏筛查是通过了的,我相信我的孩子没
: 问题,就算有问题,我也不会放弃他。
: 从28周,我每天都度日如年,每个做过母亲的人都能体会我的那份焦虑和希望混杂的复
: 杂情绪。之后,又发现我有ICP (孕期胆汁淤积),因为怀孕就不停止过剧烈的皮肤瘙
: 痒,更糟糕的是,孕期我又感染了巨细胞病毒(CMV),很有可能会传染给胎儿。胆汁
: 淤积,随时胎儿会在宫中窒息,如果孩子在宫内感染了巨细胞病毒,其结果就跟唐氏儿

avatar
m*g
44
bless LZ. Adjust yourself and move on.
avatar
m*e
45
楼主MM,没有人能做得比你更好了。希望你能放松心情。我老公曾经跟我说,如果孕妇
老是担心,忧郁,孩子会有兔唇。我不知道他哪里看来的,但应该不是杜撰的。我是超
级悲观的一个人,举个例子没怀孕的时候我一直看IVF版,而从不来宝宝版。老公曾经
要禁止我上BBS,因为我每天都update他不好的事情。后来听我妈的劝,她说,你们都
很健康,你们会有健康的宝宝,放宽心。现在我好多了。多保重。
avatar
s*1
46
I feel sorry for you and your baby. I hope your baby can rest in peace.
Significant risk is not equal to a diagnosis. You shouldn't have given up so
easily.

a
earth
all
neural

【在 d***0 的大作中提到】
: thank you all for the support. I write this is not to seek sympathy. It's a
: way to tell my dear son how I feel about him and why mammy made that
: decision. I know people will say I'm so cruel and the worst person on earth
: and deserve the punishment. I'm not complaining because it's my choice so
: what ever the consequence it is, I take them. When we find out that I'm
: pregnant after taking the prescription drug, we consulted 4 doctors and all
: of them saying that I'm fine since I'm in the "all or non

avatar
i*y
47
非常感动,伟大的妈妈!

【在 s**********5 的大作中提到】
: 怀老二,没当回事,15周的时候看了医生,之后三个月都因为各种原因没去看医生,结
: 果到28周才检查,医生说孩子胸腔积水,高危,让我做羊水穿刺,看是否是因为唐氏综
: 合症导致了胸腔积水。当时B超专家一边做着B超一边对我这样说。我躺在那里,心如刀
: 割。可是,做羊水穿刺又怎样,难道,真的有问题,我就放弃这个孩子吗?28周了,都
: 可以出生了。我对医生说,我不想做,之前的唐氏筛查是通过了的,我相信我的孩子没
: 问题,就算有问题,我也不会放弃他。
: 从28周,我每天都度日如年,每个做过母亲的人都能体会我的那份焦虑和希望混杂的复
: 杂情绪。之后,又发现我有ICP (孕期胆汁淤积),因为怀孕就不停止过剧烈的皮肤瘙
: 痒,更糟糕的是,孕期我又感染了巨细胞病毒(CMV),很有可能会传染给胎儿。胆汁
: 淤积,随时胎儿会在宫中窒息,如果孩子在宫内感染了巨细胞病毒,其结果就跟唐氏儿

avatar
x*r
48
What happened is already done. It is a very hard situation for everyone.
There are a lot of moms out there who had same situation as you did and have
different ways to deal with it. They are all having healthy kids now.
1 My friend worried a little with her first son because of a cup of wine
during early pregnacy. of Course, first born is always the healthiest. But
she gave up her 2nd one just because of she used some over-counter fungcide
on her feet. And 2 year later she had her 2nd son b
avatar
s*h
49
God bless you and the baby in heaven. Wish you best of luck next time.
avatar
h*y
50
bless

It's a
earth
so
all
If
neural

【在 d***0 的大作中提到】
: thank you all for the support. I write this is not to seek sympathy. It's a
: way to tell my dear son how I feel about him and why mammy made that
: decision. I know people will say I'm so cruel and the worst person on earth
: and deserve the punishment. I'm not complaining because it's my choice so
: what ever the consequence it is, I take them. When we find out that I'm
: pregnant after taking the prescription drug, we consulted 4 doctors and all
: of them saying that I'm fine since I'm in the "all or non

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