【在 I********e 的大作中提到】 : 这件事好象不是"鸡毛蒜皮的事情"...如果你说的"姿态"只是说话的技巧, 意思表达到 : 了, 那是好事..如果他说"最后一次帮她"但又不是最后一次, 那就不是技巧的问题了 - : that'd be flat out lying to her face.
Then I wish you good luck in finding someone who will 一直哄你下去...哄个几 年is doable...一直哄下去那你得需要很outstanding的luck才会碰的到. 我不是说讲大道理 - 我说的是平常的生活中的事. I'd much rather be able to reason with my boyfriend. Reasoning is easy to do when both parties can do it well..it's usually just a calm discussion. IMO a guy can totally reason with someone that he loves dearly. We obviously have different opinions on this.
【在 I********e 的大作中提到】 : Then I wish you good luck in finding someone who will 一直哄你下去...哄个几 : 年is doable...一直哄下去那你得需要很outstanding的luck才会碰的到. : 我不是说讲大道理 - 我说的是平常的生活中的事. I'd much rather be able to : reason with my boyfriend. Reasoning is easy to do when both parties can do : it well..it's usually just a calm discussion. IMO a guy can totally reason : with someone that he loves dearly. We obviously have different opinions on : this.
I think LZ is a good guy, why some people were so mean? If your ex bf/gf is in an emergency and need some help, how much can you lend or give? If LZ lent the money before meeting the new gf, the gf and her parents have no say what-so-ever; if LZ has already dating the current one but is not in a serious relationship (reporting each other's finance), the current gf and her parents have no say either; if LZ has a serious relationship with this girl (getting married in a few years), check it with h
s*1
206 楼
All people live in rivers and lakes. Don't have to set up your requirements too high. Anyone around you without intention to hurt you should be your friend.
FRIEND? if you mean a friend on my facebook list, yes, I can do that; if you mean a true friend that I can trust, no, he is not qualified. 说话象放P的人,我就把他当个P放了
requirements
【在 s*********1 的大作中提到】 : All people live in rivers and lakes. Don't have to set up your requirements : too high. Anyone around you without intention to hurt you should be your : friend. : : 婚姻不是因为钱的矛盾而散伙的呢?生活本来就是油盐酱醋,借钱在生活里根本就是个 : 大事,如果因为借钱而被怀疑,就是更大的事情。 : 说"就当做善事"了,说什么"一万刀而已",,说的比唱的还好听,有了矛盾就用空 : 头支票蒙混过关,说些不负责任的P话。小心眼,大嘴巴,这几个字是说你自己呢! : 的机会。我从心里看不起这种人,说话跟放P一样。
j*b
209 楼
赞有个性!
【在 p*********l 的大作中提到】 : FRIEND? : if you mean a friend on my facebook list, yes, I can do that; : if you mean a true friend that I can trust, no, he is not qualified. : 说话象放P的人,我就把他当个P放了 : : requirements
【在 x*******a 的大作中提到】 : I think LZ is a good guy, why some people were so mean? If your ex bf/gf is : in an emergency and need some help, how much can you lend or give? : If LZ lent the money before meeting the new gf, the gf and her parents have : no say what-so-ever; if LZ has already dating the current one but is not in : a serious relationship (reporting each other's finance), the current gf and : her parents have no say either; if LZ has a serious relationship with this : girl (getting married in a few years), check it with h
【在 p*********l 的大作中提到】 : FRIEND? : if you mean a friend on my facebook list, yes, I can do that; : if you mean a true friend that I can trust, no, he is not qualified. : 说话象放P的人,我就把他当个P放了 : : requirements
讲道理不等于每方都坚持己见. Reasonable的人会通过讲道理来看出对方的point of view, then decide whether he/she should compromise or not. 单纯一味的妥协意 味着两方不平等. I am saying I'd much rather have an environment where I can reason with my SO then make a decision based on that (whether I should agree with him or not agree but we both make a compromise), than have my boyfriend just say " 行了, 我都听你的好了吧" without any discussion and without telling me what he thinks. To me a relationship where I can have discussions/reasoning is much more e
Again, 你太武断了...just because you can't be friends (or not even friends, but helping out someone in need) you think no one else can be just friends with their EXs.
【在 I********e 的大作中提到】 : : Again, 你太武断了...just because you can't be friends (or not even friends, : but helping out someone in need) you think no one else can be just friends : with their EXs.
Your new gf and her family should feel lucky to know a nice guy like you. If they do not, they either do not have a good taste or they are not nice. Your lending money to your freinds has nothing to do with you new gf, not mention her family, not even metion it happened before you met her. A relationship has to be built upon trust. Your telling her is a trust. But if they do not, they are stupid to say the least. Keep some distance from them.
道理就不是自己的女人了? Your problem is that you wanna win arguments all the time. You are the worst candidate to give advice about love and relationship on this board because of that. By the way,why are you getting angry so easily with some stranger's life? It 's like there's a thorn in your ass and you have to yell and release your frustration. Calm down.
最好的建议是来自不take on a side的人,客观,平和。 有时候对自己的观念感觉强烈的人,大部分是对自己不自信,通过灌水来说服自己的。 开溜
worst because life? It your
【在 u*********e 的大作中提到】 : : 道理就不是自己的女人了? : Your problem is that you wanna win arguments all the time. You are the worst : candidate to give advice about love and relationship on this board because : of that. : By the way,why are you getting angry so easily with some stranger's life? It : 's like there's a thorn in your ass and you have to yell and release your : frustration. Calm down.
p*l
388 楼
你说得不对 我说理吧?也没有人身攻击吧?我一开始的帖子也很温和八?如果不是gilda跳出来说 LZ怎么让人烦,继而说什么男人不可能跟女人讲道理,说什么为了怕媳妇跑就一定要说 "最后一次",我根本不会长篇累度。你不要颠倒黑白。 我跟我BF还有以前的EX都不需要辩论,大家都是商量着办,在讨论中看清自己和对方的 观点从而达成一致意见。版面上能够这么做的男ID女ID也不少呢! 我昨天是语气激烈,是因为我替LZ觉得委屈,也因那些蔑视女性在家庭中地位的言论而感到震惊,尤其是那些言论来自我一向很尊敬的一个ID。愤怒还真谈不上。 辩论不过,于是指责对方只想win argument,我又长见识了。我没啥好frustrated的,MS你这样王顾左右而言他的人比较frustrated。Plus, you are quite judgmental.
worst because It
【在 u*********e 的大作中提到】 : : 道理就不是自己的女人了? : Your problem is that you wanna win arguments all the time. You are the worst : candidate to give advice about love and relationship on this board because : of that. : By the way,why are you getting angry so easily with some stranger's life? It : 's like there's a thorn in your ass and you have to yell and release your : frustration. Calm down.
u*e
389 楼
In the end, what did you achieve other than losing a friend in this debate? That's your way of giving advice of "Love" and "Relationship" ? :)
【在 u*********e 的大作中提到】 : In the end, what did you achieve other than losing a friend in this debate? : That's your way of giving advice of "Love" and "Relationship" ? :) : : 而感到震惊,尤其是那些言论来自我一向很尊敬的一个ID。愤怒还真谈不上。 : ,MS你这样王顾左右而言他的人比较frustrated。
u*e
392 楼
Last time I checked, this board is called "Love". Indeed, your posts proved "how to lose in a love relationship" very well. I think LouZhu should know who 's advice is more valuable at this moment.
【在 u*********e 的大作中提到】 : : Last time I checked, this board is called "Love". Indeed, your posts proved : "how to lose in a love relationship" very well. I think LouZhu should know who : 's advice is more valuable at this moment.
It is not that she wants to win the argument. It is that she wants to be reasonable and kind. However, obviously some people here are too cynical to undestand this, hehe
worst because It
【在 u*********e 的大作中提到】 : : Last time I checked, this board is called "Love". Indeed, your posts proved : "how to lose in a love relationship" very well. I think LouZhu should know who : 's advice is more valuable at this moment.
hehe, your advice is to tell lou zhu how to keep love for an unreasonable girl, just because it is called "love"? If so, it is a ji lei love.
proved who
【在 u*********e 的大作中提到】 : : Last time I checked, this board is called "Love". Indeed, your posts proved : "how to lose in a love relationship" very well. I think LouZhu should know who : 's advice is more valuable at this moment.
【在 z*******g 的大作中提到】 : Your new gf and her family should feel lucky to know a nice guy like you. : If they do not, they either do not have a good taste or they are not nice. : Your lending money to your freinds has nothing to do with you new gf, not : mention her family, not even metion it happened before you met her. : A relationship has to be built upon trust. Your telling her is a trust. But : if they do not, they are stupid to say the least. : Keep some distance from them.
M*2
403 楼
It's small hearted, narrow minded. 看不管你对几个跟你意见不一致的人气势兄兄的样子.还不定谁更narrow minded.
【在 j*****e 的大作中提到】 : exactly : : But
I*e
404 楼
It sounds like you definitely should... ... calm down :P
worst because It
【在 u*********e 的大作中提到】 : : Last time I checked, this board is called "Love". Indeed, your posts proved : "how to lose in a love relationship" very well. I think LouZhu should know who : 's advice is more valuable at this moment.
p*l
405 楼
对了,你好象说来说去对原帖没有半点见解,对LZ的问题没有半条建议,就扯个 尾巴来对我个人指指点点了。且不说我是不是象您预见的那样会lose my relationship ,您这个说话的方式正是Gilda心目中最下等的辩品。 :)
proved who
【在 u*********e 的大作中提到】 : : Last time I checked, this board is called "Love". Indeed, your posts proved : "how to lose in a love relationship" very well. I think LouZhu should know who : 's advice is more valuable at this moment.
j*e
406 楼
这帮宣称需要男人哄骗,不能跟男人讲道理的女人们,你还指望她们能给出什么像样的 建议?
relationship
【在 p*********l 的大作中提到】 : 对了,你好象说来说去对原帖没有半点见解,对LZ的问题没有半条建议,就扯个 : 尾巴来对我个人指指点点了。且不说我是不是象您预见的那样会lose my relationship : ,您这个说话的方式正是Gilda心目中最下等的辩品。 :) : : proved : who
You don't know how to listen. Here's my point: You cannot reason with people peacefully on this board yet you try to give advice about relationship like some "Love guru". Who can you fool except yourself? What a phony!
j*e
418 楼
hehe, in your argument and standard, almost everybody here on this bbs are trying to fight and talk like a love/relationship guru. it is pointless
【在 u*********e 的大作中提到】 : You don't know how to listen. Here's my point: : You cannot reason with people peacefully on this board yet you try to give : advice about relationship like some "Love guru". Who can you fool except : yourself? What a phony!
【在 u*********e 的大作中提到】 : You don't know how to listen. Here's my point: : You cannot reason with people peacefully on this board yet you try to give : advice about relationship like some "Love guru". Who can you fool except : yourself? What a phony!
I*e
421 楼
Putting ":)))" at the end of your posts doesn't automatically make them peaceful - they still sound very hostile. You know what that makes you?
【在 u*********e 的大作中提到】 : You don't know how to listen. Here's my point: : You cannot reason with people peacefully on this board yet you try to give : advice about relationship like some "Love guru". Who can you fool except : yourself? What a phony!
u*e
422 楼
Means that it will be wise that I do not give advice about love relationship to some strangers. Sometimes you have to swallow some humble pie. :)
【在 I********e 的大作中提到】 : Putting ":)))" at the end of your posts doesn't automatically make them : peaceful - they still sound very hostile. You know what that makes you?
Well, at least, she won my respect because this debate; and I am thinking about asking her to be my daughter's mentor. We had disagreement one time and we had a debate also, but we understand to respect each other's differences and agree to disagree - mature people do that, and I WILL trust her to give love advise to my daughter.
?
【在 u*********e 的大作中提到】 : In the end, what did you achieve other than losing a friend in this debate? : That's your way of giving advice of "Love" and "Relationship" ? :) : : 而感到震惊,尤其是那些言论来自我一向很尊敬的一个ID。愤怒还真谈不上。 : ,MS你这样王顾左右而言他的人比较frustrated。
and we had a debate also, but we understand to respect each other's differences and agree to disagree - mature people do that, and I WILL trust her to give love advise to my daughter.
【在 C***1 的大作中提到】 : Well, at least, she won my respect because this debate; and I am thinking : about asking her to be my daughter's mentor. We had disagreement one time and we had a debate also, but we understand to respect each other's differences and agree to disagree - mature people do that, and I WILL trust her to give love advise to my daughter. : : ?
Is $10k such a big deal? LZ will work for 30 years. $10k is like a rounding error, considering his full human capital at this point. Do what you want to do; and no need to be jjww or show off.
你说的都对, 但是你跟她根本说不通, 我闲来无事, 唐几句 - 首先她根本不能把ex当成朋友来对代, 所以你跟她讲和男性朋友相处, 这个对她来说已 经不包括ex - "分手就是分手了,干嘛还藕断丝连,打着“分手也能做朋友”的幌子来 往". 而且她想当然的无事实根据就做结论 - "遇到难处首先想到的是自己的前男友,这种关 系正常吗?难道这个女孩没有亲人没有其他朋友吗?" - 好象别人已经告诉了她这ex首 先想到的就是自己前男友..of course there was no possibility what so ever that the ex could have asked someone else before she came to LZ... 还有, 她把自己的经历和想法看成是所有人的经历和想法,这一点最搞笑 - "你借钱给 ex的行为,给所有的人的感受就是和她经常联系" - 很显然从回贴看来, 这个版就有很 多人不会因为这个感觉LZ和ex经常联系. 所以, 跟她讲道理根本讲不通. 不过这可能也是她的福气, 她已经说了她自己的家不是 讲道理的地方, 那她在这样的家里应该是fi
虽然忙,还是来帮公主说两句。首先,鄙视那些人身攻击公主的ID。每个人都有权利自 己的人生观和价值观,公主在这条线上的观点你不赞同不等于你可以攻击她的人品为人 。you attack the point, not the charactor. 我在这里看过公主很多言论,有的同 意有的不同意,但是公主心好,善良,有正义感,热心肠,应该是有目共睹的。还有, 公主阿,紫苏MM攻击你的,我认为都是你的point, 而不是为人。你应该把她和那些攻 击你人品的ID分开。
【在 G***a 的大作中提到】 : 她人身攻击那些话,也能赢得你尊重? : : and we had a debate also, but we understand to respect each other's : differences and agree to disagree - mature people do that, and I WILL trust : her to give love advise to my daughter.
【在 I********e 的大作中提到】 : 你说的都对, 但是你跟她根本说不通, 我闲来无事, 唐几句 - : 首先她根本不能把ex当成朋友来对代, 所以你跟她讲和男性朋友相处, 这个对她来说已 : 经不包括ex - "分手就是分手了,干嘛还藕断丝连,打着“分手也能做朋友”的幌子来 : 往". : 而且她想当然的无事实根据就做结论 - "遇到难处首先想到的是自己的前男友,这种关 : 系正常吗?难道这个女孩没有亲人没有其他朋友吗?" - 好象别人已经告诉了她这ex首 : 先想到的就是自己前男友..of course there was no possibility what so ever that : the ex could have asked someone else before she came to LZ... : 还有, 她把自己的经历和想法看成是所有人的经历和想法,这一点最搞笑 - "你借钱给 : ex的行为,给所有的人的感受就是和她经常联系" - 很显然从回贴看来, 这个版就有很
and we had a debate also, but we understand to respect each other's differences and agree to disagree - mature people do that, and I WILL trust her to give love advise to my daughter.
【在 C***1 的大作中提到】 : Well, at least, she won my respect because this debate; and I am thinking : about asking her to be my daughter's mentor. We had disagreement one time and we had a debate also, but we understand to respect each other's differences and agree to disagree - mature people do that, and I WILL trust her to give love advise to my daughter. : : ?
【在 I********e 的大作中提到】 : 你说的都对, 但是你跟她根本说不通, 我闲来无事, 唐几句 - : 首先她根本不能把ex当成朋友来对代, 所以你跟她讲和男性朋友相处, 这个对她来说已 : 经不包括ex - "分手就是分手了,干嘛还藕断丝连,打着“分手也能做朋友”的幌子来 : 往". : 而且她想当然的无事实根据就做结论 - "遇到难处首先想到的是自己的前男友,这种关 : 系正常吗?难道这个女孩没有亲人没有其他朋友吗?" - 好象别人已经告诉了她这ex首 : 先想到的就是自己前男友..of course there was no possibility what so ever that : the ex could have asked someone else before she came to LZ... : 还有, 她把自己的经历和想法看成是所有人的经历和想法,这一点最搞笑 - "你借钱给 : ex的行为,给所有的人的感受就是和她经常联系" - 很显然从回贴看来, 这个版就有很
support. Now I am in a phd with good scholarship. but years ago when I did a master by paying tuition by myself, I totally understood the pressure. Anybody that ever helped me would be remembered in my whole life. Some people were too cynical or their life had been too smooth so that they could not think deeper about others' feelings/difficulties.
en, me too. I had always worked very hard to fight for my life, but I also felt very lucky to always have people to help me out when i was in need. This is why I always appreciate people who have a heart to help others. Of course I also met very mean people who would step on others when they could. but in the end, they don't influence my life much because there are more good people in this world, hehe
【在 j*****e 的大作中提到】 : faint, I am girl. not your 弟弟. seems you dont really know women that well as you thought :)
j*e
503 楼
haha, you seem like a narccisist
【在 g******n 的大作中提到】 : 谦虚的说,我这个人爱观察爱思考有头脑有经验。我对女人的看法肯定比你正确。估计 : 你连你自己都没认识清楚。 : : well as you thought :)
g*n
504 楼
我就是爱开玩笑,别当真。瞧我连你是男是女都分不清楚,哪里会了解女人
【在 j*****e 的大作中提到】 : haha, you seem like a narccisist
j*e
505 楼
yeah, From gilda's posts, you can tell she is extremely self-confident and self-absorbed. She believes that she is so smart and can deal with all situations in a very foxy way so that everybody should agree with her. Otherwise she would attack you with very judgmental words. maybe she really thinks she is a gong zhu, hehe
amazing for you to think I am a guy just because I didnot agree with you
【在 j*****e 的大作中提到】 : haha, it is you that can not tell who is a girl or guy, not me. It is amazing for you to think I am a guy just because I didnot agree with you
j*e
508 楼
faint, i have this account for many years and i even never checked what my id looked like. when i talked here, I never checked others' id. I tell if they are a girl or guy by their words. From your words, you obviously dont know women that much as you thought. confess it and move on to learn more about women :)
【在 g******n 的大作中提到】 : 你bbs形象是个男人,怪不得我。我是相信所有id都是诚实可靠的。 : : amazing for you to think I am a guy just because I didnot agree with you
【在 j*****e 的大作中提到】 : faint, i have this account for many years and i even never checked what my : id looked like. when i talked here, I never checked others' id. I tell if : they are a girl or guy by their words. From your words, you obviously dont : know women that much as you thought. confess it and move on to learn more : about women :)
说你不愿和ex有任何的接触,那是你的原则。 楼主选择帮助急难中的ex,那是楼主是有情有义的人。 你可以根据你的原则说我不认为楼主该那么做。Nothing is wrong. People are different. 说人欠骂? 那我就不忿了,what the heck is wrong with you!?
haha, I never said you should change yourself. Since you thought you knew women so well, I told you you should work hard to improve yourself to match this expectation :) Otherwise why do you believe you know women so well? you even dont know there are other kinds of women to exist in this world. btw, please stop using "female phd" as a group to judge people. it does not make you look good :)
【在 u*********e 的大作中提到】 : 拉倒吧,想找人生指导,那种selfhelp guru一砸一大片,好多自己家里一团糟,不妨 : 碍人家上台道理一套套的忽悠台下粉丝一帮心潮澎湃热泪盈眶。人家再虚伪,好歹还聪 : 明知道藏着掖着点家丑。这位大姐,这么简单的一件事能让她上纲上线吵出几十层楼, : 明明没事的非的给整出分手来,还给谁指导人生呢。 : Mature people就是不但要听其言还要观其行,什么self centered小丫头片子都能给忽悠了也敢叫自己mature ? : : and we had a debate also, but we understand to respect each other's : differences and agree to disagree - mature people do that, and I WILL trust : her to give love advise to my daughter.