A wife came home early and...# Joke - 肚皮舞运动
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https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/5d986l/a_wife_came_home_early_and/
One day, a wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom
making love to a very attractive young woman. Naturally, she was very upset.
“You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me! I
’m a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a
divorce right away!”
The husband replied, “Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell
you what happened.”
“Go ahead,” she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me
!”
So the husband began, “Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and
this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and
defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told
me that she hadn’t eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought
her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night. The ones
you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor
thing devoured them in moments!
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was
doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw
them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that
you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too
tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you
don’t wear because I don’t have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my
sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just to annoy her and I
also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t
wear because someone at work has a pair the same.”
The husband took a quick breath and continued, “She was so grateful for my
understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me
with tears in her eyes and said…” “Do you have anything else that your
wife doesn’t use?”
One day, a wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom
making love to a very attractive young woman. Naturally, she was very upset.
“You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me! I
’m a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a
divorce right away!”
The husband replied, “Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell
you what happened.”
“Go ahead,” she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me
!”
So the husband began, “Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and
this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and
defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told
me that she hadn’t eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought
her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night. The ones
you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor
thing devoured them in moments!
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was
doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw
them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that
you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too
tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you
don’t wear because I don’t have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my
sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just to annoy her and I
also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t
wear because someone at work has a pair the same.”
The husband took a quick breath and continued, “She was so grateful for my
understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me
with tears in her eyes and said…” “Do you have anything else that your
wife doesn’t use?”