25本到死you don't have to read# LeisureTime - 读书听歌看电影
j*n
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Following last week's top 100 books guide, I'd like to relieve you of some
literary pressure and reveal the titles life's just far too short to waste
time on.
1: Eucalyptus by Murray Bail
The only good thing about this Miles Franklin and Commonwealth Writer's
Prize-winning novel is that it's short and the Russell Crowe/Nicole Kidman
movie was felled. Those bloody trees will turn you into a pro-logger by the
end of it.
2: Ulysses by James Joyce
Considered a masterpiece of modernism you have to be very clever indeed to
tolerate the stream-of-consciousness experimental mind-boggling prose style
of this 1922 Irish novel. If you are one of those 32 people, I applaud you.
3: Cloudstreet by Tim Winton
I know it's un-Australian, but the only thing that resonates about this book
is it's set in Perth and it's quite nice.
4: The Dice Man by Luke Rhineheart
Teenage boys delight in this 1971 novel about a man making every decision by
a dice. Puerile.
5: Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
Revered as one of the greatest novels of the 20th century (usually by men)
this absurdist 1961 book bends your brain so much you don't have the
foggiest what's really happening.
6: To The Lighthouse by Virginia Wolf
Wolf adored James Joyce, which should tell you all you need to know. Another
literary masterpiece ranked as one of the world's best novels of all time.
Except nothing AT ALL happens.
7: The Slap by Christos Tsiolkas
Man slaps child at barbecue in Melbourne. Book sells out, TV series is made.
Australians debate the ethics of it ad infinitum. In reality, if a man
slapped your child, you'd slap him.
8: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
HAS there ever been such a regressive female character as Bella Swan, who
lurches from catastrophe to catastrophe needing to be rescued by either a
blood-sucking vampire or a werewolf? Jane Austen's Emma had more fight in
her.
9: On the Road by Jack Kerouac
If you are male, aged 19 and about to leave home, then this is the book for
you. If you are not any of these things, you can afford to miss it.
10: The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
This seminal novel from 1915 is about travelling salesman Gregor Samsa who
wakes up as a bug. His family get fed up looking after him and he dies, much
to their delight. Got it? Good.
11: Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie
I valiantly tried to finish this Booker Prize-winning novel, but in the end,
I just didn't care what happened to poor little Saleem Sinai. The story
spins you off into so many directions, you'll be lucky if your brain doesn't
implode by the end of it.
12: Oscar &Lucinda by Peter Carey
A glass church floating up the river? What the?
13: My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult
Picoult could have been listed for any one of her mawkish moral dilemma
novels, which women love to weep over the dreadful decisions they'll never
have to make. Believe me ladies, some people do live this.
14: Sons and Lovers by D.H. Lawrence
If only Gertrude had stuck to her roots and not married miner Walter, we'd
have all been spared this miserable read.
15: We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver
This beautifully crafted yet horrible novel will fill your head with things
you never wanted in there.
16: 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James
Appallingly written, most people just skip the drivel to get to the spanking
bits.
I suspect Anais Nin would turn in her grave.
17: Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
It's a punishment to get to the end of this epic novel about an ex-student
who commits murder.
18: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
I would eat, pray and love this naval-gazing memoir to just disappear.
19: Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts
Roberts never said this Indian slum-romp was an autobiography, which is just
as well, or he'd be in A Million Little Pieces now.
20: Tess of the d'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
This is a relentless journey of misery following innocent Tess's downfall.
And Angel's one of the most annoying male characters ever written.
21: Charlie and The Great Glass Elevator by Roald Dahl
WHEN the lift smashed through the roof at the end of Charlie and the
Chocolate Factory, it would have been better for all of us had it just
crashed.
22: Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
Or how to be a happy prostitute with big hair and squished-up feet. The real
geisha Mineko Iwasaki sued Golden and wrote a completely different
You’re better off watching Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway in 2006 film .
Picture: Supplied Source: Supplied
23: The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger
Whiny Weisberger gets a job at Vogue and after 25 seconds thinks she's too
important to get coffee for Anna Wintour. Gen Y at its worst - and not well
written. Just watch the movie.
24: The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
In the seven years since this self-help book on the secret to getting what
you want was released, have we seen a plethora of multi-millionaires roaming
the nation who all achieved their success by positive thinking? No we have
not.
25: The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield
In 1993 we all went nuts for this spiritual meaning-of-life novel whose key
message was if you bump into someone, they have something to tell you.
Unfortunately, they didn't.
literary pressure and reveal the titles life's just far too short to waste
time on.
1: Eucalyptus by Murray Bail
The only good thing about this Miles Franklin and Commonwealth Writer's
Prize-winning novel is that it's short and the Russell Crowe/Nicole Kidman
movie was felled. Those bloody trees will turn you into a pro-logger by the
end of it.
2: Ulysses by James Joyce
Considered a masterpiece of modernism you have to be very clever indeed to
tolerate the stream-of-consciousness experimental mind-boggling prose style
of this 1922 Irish novel. If you are one of those 32 people, I applaud you.
3: Cloudstreet by Tim Winton
I know it's un-Australian, but the only thing that resonates about this book
is it's set in Perth and it's quite nice.
4: The Dice Man by Luke Rhineheart
Teenage boys delight in this 1971 novel about a man making every decision by
a dice. Puerile.
5: Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
Revered as one of the greatest novels of the 20th century (usually by men)
this absurdist 1961 book bends your brain so much you don't have the
foggiest what's really happening.
6: To The Lighthouse by Virginia Wolf
Wolf adored James Joyce, which should tell you all you need to know. Another
literary masterpiece ranked as one of the world's best novels of all time.
Except nothing AT ALL happens.
7: The Slap by Christos Tsiolkas
Man slaps child at barbecue in Melbourne. Book sells out, TV series is made.
Australians debate the ethics of it ad infinitum. In reality, if a man
slapped your child, you'd slap him.
8: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
HAS there ever been such a regressive female character as Bella Swan, who
lurches from catastrophe to catastrophe needing to be rescued by either a
blood-sucking vampire or a werewolf? Jane Austen's Emma had more fight in
her.
9: On the Road by Jack Kerouac
If you are male, aged 19 and about to leave home, then this is the book for
you. If you are not any of these things, you can afford to miss it.
10: The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
This seminal novel from 1915 is about travelling salesman Gregor Samsa who
wakes up as a bug. His family get fed up looking after him and he dies, much
to their delight. Got it? Good.
11: Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie
I valiantly tried to finish this Booker Prize-winning novel, but in the end,
I just didn't care what happened to poor little Saleem Sinai. The story
spins you off into so many directions, you'll be lucky if your brain doesn't
implode by the end of it.
12: Oscar &Lucinda by Peter Carey
A glass church floating up the river? What the?
13: My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult
Picoult could have been listed for any one of her mawkish moral dilemma
novels, which women love to weep over the dreadful decisions they'll never
have to make. Believe me ladies, some people do live this.
14: Sons and Lovers by D.H. Lawrence
If only Gertrude had stuck to her roots and not married miner Walter, we'd
have all been spared this miserable read.
15: We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver
This beautifully crafted yet horrible novel will fill your head with things
you never wanted in there.
16: 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James
Appallingly written, most people just skip the drivel to get to the spanking
bits.
I suspect Anais Nin would turn in her grave.
17: Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
It's a punishment to get to the end of this epic novel about an ex-student
who commits murder.
18: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
I would eat, pray and love this naval-gazing memoir to just disappear.
19: Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts
Roberts never said this Indian slum-romp was an autobiography, which is just
as well, or he'd be in A Million Little Pieces now.
20: Tess of the d'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
This is a relentless journey of misery following innocent Tess's downfall.
And Angel's one of the most annoying male characters ever written.
21: Charlie and The Great Glass Elevator by Roald Dahl
WHEN the lift smashed through the roof at the end of Charlie and the
Chocolate Factory, it would have been better for all of us had it just
crashed.
22: Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
Or how to be a happy prostitute with big hair and squished-up feet. The real
geisha Mineko Iwasaki sued Golden and wrote a completely different
You’re better off watching Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway in 2006 film .
Picture: Supplied Source: Supplied
23: The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger
Whiny Weisberger gets a job at Vogue and after 25 seconds thinks she's too
important to get coffee for Anna Wintour. Gen Y at its worst - and not well
written. Just watch the movie.
24: The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
In the seven years since this self-help book on the secret to getting what
you want was released, have we seen a plethora of multi-millionaires roaming
the nation who all achieved their success by positive thinking? No we have
not.
25: The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield
In 1993 we all went nuts for this spiritual meaning-of-life novel whose key
message was if you bump into someone, they have something to tell you.
Unfortunately, they didn't.