‘You’re Making Me the Bride?’ a Hiccup for Gay Unions
By JAVIER C. HERNANDEZ and MATT FLEGENHEIMER
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As he got ready for work on Tuesday, Fredy H. Kaplan, a 5-foot-9, 160-pound
gay rights activist from the East Village, turned to his 6-foot-1, 250-pound
fiancé and made it official. “You’re going to be the bride,” he said.
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Librado Romero/The New York Times
Couples waited in line for marriage and domestic partnership applications at
the city clerk's office on Tuesday.
For much of Tuesday, the online application for a marriage license in New
York City had options only for “bride” or “groom.”
Mr. Kaplan had spent the morning at his computer, applying online for a
marriage license, because Tuesday was the first day that New York City
allowed same-sex couples to initiate the process for getting married. But he
stumbled on an unexpected roadblock: The city clerk’s online forms offered
only the choice of “bride” and “groom.” Mr. Kaplan, 50, a vice
president of the Stonewall Democrats, and his partner of six years, Anthony
Cipriano, 43, were puzzled, but also amused.
“He said, ‘You’re making me the bride?’ ” Mr. Kaplan recalled. “It was
confusing on many levels.”
Same-sex marriage becomes legal in New York State on July 24, and for those
looking to get a head start, bewilderment abounds. Not only are city and
town officials scrambling to update forms, but there are also other
complications. July 24 is a Sunday, when municipal offices are ordinarily
closed, so it is not clear whether same-sex couples will be able to obtain
marriage licenses that day. And state law requires that couples wait 24
hours after receiving licenses before getting married, but in New York City,
officials have pledged to have judges on hand to grant exemptions so
couples can wed.
On Tuesday, the confusion over the online applications for marriage licenses
were, for some, a reminder that bureaucracy can take some time to catch up
with history, even in the Internet age.
Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg, speaking to reporters at an event in Brooklyn,
said the city was preparing for an influx of same-sex couples seeking to wed
. The Web sites of the city’s Marriage Bureau and its official tourism site
— nycgo.com — feature guidance for same-sex couples on their home pages,
and by Tuesday evening, the city clerk had posted updated marriage license
applications with spaces for “Bride/Groom/Spouse A” and “Bride/Groom/
Spouse B.”
“We will change everything to reflect the passage of a law which its time
has certainly come,” said Mr. Bloomberg, who had urged lawmakers to
legalize same-sex marriage. “This is a city that welcomes everybody.”
Earlier in the day, some same-sex couples were frustrated by the online
license application process. On Tuesday, the city received 20 percent more
applications for marriage licenses than it did on a typical day last week.
There were 60 calls to the city’s 311 help line as of Tuesday evening
regarding same-sex marriage applications. And on Twitter, a user named
nycpkp took a photo of the bride/groom form and grumbled, “We’re being
force-feminized by the N.Y. marriage application!”
Alfred Gonzales, a teacher who lives in Chelsea, said he and his partner of
17 years, Tom Allsup, had been looking forward to being one of the first
couples to apply for a license on Tuesday. But when they ran into the gender
issue, they decided to wait. He criticized the city’s handling of the
matter.
“It’s about equality of marriage, but this does not feel equal,” Mr.
Gonzales said. “It didn’t seem to be such a hard thing to do.”
The few same-sex couples who trekked on Tuesday to the city clerk’s office,
which is overseen by the City Council, encountered similar stumbling blocks.
Sandra M. Rodriguez-Diaz, 43, and Miriam Soriano, 51, arrived with a printed
copy of the online application that had flummoxed them. “Step 1,” it read
. “Groom Info.”
An office administrator informed the women, who live in Battery Park City
with their 14-year-old daughter and have been together for 20 years, that
they could complete the outdated forms if they wished — designating one
party as the groom — and correct them later.
“So I’m a groom?” Ms. Rodriguez-Diaz said. “That is kind of awkward.”
Nimon Sinanovic, 35, and Jamar Robinson, 31, skipped work to travel into
Lower Manhattan from the Bronx. They thought they could obtain a license
Tuesday, but a city employee discouraged them from even beginning an
application, they said.
“I guess we have to wait a little longer,” Mr. Sinanovic said.
Ross D. Levi, executive director of the Empire State Pride Agenda, a
prominent state gay rights organization, said the confusion was to be
expected. “There’s bound to be a bureaucratic hiccup here and there,” he
said.
The state, which oversees marriage applications outside New York City, is
also grappling with updating its marriage license applications, possibly by
adding “spouse” as a third option, as the city did.
Meanwhile, some members of New York’s entrepreneurial class needed no time
to adjust to the new world of same-sex weddings. Before the city clerk’s
offices opened at 8:30 a.m. Tuesday, a few photographers and wedding
officiants stood at the foot of the steps.
With few gay couples at the office — the city had said it was accepting
license applications online only — Kevin Bain, a self-described marriage
celebrant, migrated to the chapel area.
“Now serving C808 at Window No. 8,” a voice said on the speaker system, as
Mr. Bain asked couples, some with chapel appointments minutes away, if they
had found anyone to officiate.
“I’m good,” he said, digging for his business card. “I’m booking
weddings into 2012.”