上海“死亡咖啡馆”火了！咖啡只送不卖，用故事来换……

2024-04-04 08:04

清明来临，上海“死亡咖啡馆”登上社交平台热搜榜。“给予生命更体面的告别”，这家名为“摆渡人”的小店，安静地开在上海市静安区洛川东路，小小的店面，乍看并不引人注目。

图源：上海日报

这家由年轻人开的店创新地将殡葬服务与咖啡结合，让丧亲者能够倾诉他们对生死的感悟，让人们在喝咖啡时与陌生人随意谈论生死话题。

Making arrangements at a funeral parlor for a loved one lost can be an upsetting experience. One undertaker staffed by young people is trying to alleviate the agony by creating an environment where the bereaved can pour out their hearts about perceptions of life and death.

一家咖啡馆谈论生与死

咖啡馆馆名“摆渡人”的灵感或来源于希腊神话中的摆渡人卡戎（Charon），他负责将亡魂带到冥河的另一边。

It's called Baiduren, or "Ferrymen" — a reference perhaps to Charon in Greek mythology, the ferryman who took souls across the river that separated the living and the dead.

“摆渡人”的装饰风格现代，灯光柔和，与传统殡仪馆昏暗、充满丧葬用品和浓郁的香烛味形成鲜明对比。

图源：Shine

店里摆着寿衣、骨灰盒、灵柩，甚至连拉花也是一个“奠”字。店里有“酸、甜、苦、辣”四味咖啡，只送不卖，需要用一个关于生命与死亡的故事来交换。

咖啡师孙馆长也是殡葬行业的一线人员，他希望用咖啡展现人生的滋味，“煮一壶生死悲欢，品一品苦辣酸甜”。

The Baiduren salon is decorated in a modern style, with soft lighting that contrasts with traditional funeral homes that are dim, full of funeral regalia and heavily scented by joss sticks.

图源：光明网

逝者的亲属可以向工作人员讲述因种种原因而无法与亲友分享的故事，员工年龄在40岁及以下，他们会认真倾听。

Inside Baiduren, which looks by outward appearances like a café, relatives of the dead can tell staff stories that they may not be able to share with friends and family for any number of reasons. A team of staff 40 years and younger provides the ears.

项目负责人晓林表示：“除了那些想倾诉衷肠的人，我们也接待那些想在一个更轻松、舒缓的环境中讨论丧葬事务的家属。”

"Apart from those who want to pour their hearts out, we also receive families who want to discuss funeral affairs in a more relaxed, soothing environment," said Xiaolin, leader of what Badiruen calls the "life experiencing project."

“死本身就是很平常的事”。图源：《入殓师》

“我们最初的工作是策划葬礼并处理相关事务，比如为顾客设计肖像，然而经过几年的经营，我们发现人们对殡仪馆仍存在很多刻板印象和偏见，我们想在这个行业取得突破。”他解释道。

"Our job initially was funeral planning and handling related affairs like portrait design for customers, after a few years in business, we felt that we wanted to make a breakthrough in the industry because there are still so many stereotypes about and biases against funeral homes," he explained.

由于一些偏见，房东都不愿意将房子出租给殡仪馆。“摆渡人”的位置离上海市最大的殡仪馆之一的宝兴殡仪馆很近，步行仅需10分钟。

在馆内员工看来，咖啡只是让陌生人接触殡葬这一行业的介质，他们更多地将小馆看作一家“生命体验店”：通过探讨生命与死亡，对人生有更多尊重，对死亡多一分释然。同时，对平时甚少接触的殡葬行业多一些了解，在与生命告别时，给予更体面的告别。

The irony of the traditional and the unorthodox in the industry, almost side by side, was not lost on Baiduren.

Shi and his team had difficulty finding a landlord willing to rent to a funeral parlor. In the end, the site they found was in Hongkou district, a mere 10-minute walk from Baoxing Funeral Parlor, one of the largest undertakers in the city.

图源：极目新闻

患癌后为自己策划追悼会的年轻女士、生前热爱摄影走遍七大洲的旅行爱好者、为80多岁弟弟操办丧礼的孤独老人……他们的人生一瞬，都被记录在这间小小的殡葬主题咖啡馆。

有人无法接受失去亲人的事实，有人仍对意外死亡感到震惊，有人曾有过自杀的念头。反过来，工作人员也经常讲述自己的悲伤和应对故事。

“死亡不是失去生命，只是走出了时间。”沙龙的一面墙上钉着顾客的留言。人们无论进门时感到多么悲伤或凄凉，当他们表达了自己的情感后都能减轻不少痛苦。

In the past month, the team has listened to a lot of stories — from survivors who can't seem to accept the loss of a loved one, from survivors still in shock over a death that occurred by accident, from survivors who have harbored suicidal thoughts. In turn, staff often relate their own stories of sorrow and coping.

On one wall of the salon, messages from customers are pinned. Reading through them, one senses that no matter how sad or desolate people may feel when they walk in the door, voicing emotions eases the pain by the time they leave.

年轻人进入殡葬行业

近年来，随着人们对死亡和葬礼观念的转变，越来越多的年轻人陆续走进殡葬行业。尽管他们需要与恐惧对抗，也会遇到误解、偏见甚至歧视，但是他们逐渐被接受，得到社会的尊重。

人们愈加注重殡葬场所与仪式体现的人文和生命内涵，“摆渡人”让葬礼成为一种生命的庆典，点亮亲人们心里的光，让离别变得温暖。

The salon, from the standpoint of both staff and customers, points to a change in how people — especially the young — view death and funerals. Its customers shun a common belief that the rituals of death are a taboo to be shrouded in darkness. And those searching for jobs no longer regard undertakers as a profession to be avoided at all costs.

图源：新闻晨报

事实上，“摆渡人”团队中的许多人都来自不同的职业，他们在大学时从未想过自己会从事殡葬行业。比如负责新媒体管理的成员在大学主修动画，由于一次给家人筹办葬礼时的糟糕经历，她决定加入 “摆渡人”。

Indeed, many on the team at Baiduren come from different career tracks, often never thinking they would end up in the funeral business when in college.
Shen Jiaying, who is responsible for new media management on the team, majored in animation in university. She decided to join Baiduren after an awful experience her family endured when planning a funeral.

决心在殡葬业有所作为的年轻人不止“摆渡人”。江苏省一家殡仪馆的工作人员用网名“汤木檀泽”来上传一些殡葬相关的视频，截至目前她的粉丝已超150 万。

这位工作人员是一位 20 岁出头的女性，负责为逝者化妆和穿衣。视频中，她经常以轻松、亲切的方式分享自己的工作细节，让观众了解殡仪馆是如何运作的，并吸引有兴趣加入这个行业的人。

Baiduren is not the only example of young people determined to make a difference in the funeral business.
Under the screen name "Tang Mu Tan Ze," a staff member of a funeral parlor in Jiangsu province channel has gained more than 1 million followers. The staffer, a woman in her early 20s, is responsible for the makeup and clothing of the deceased.

图源：B站“汤木檀泽”账号

“有些人觉得这是一份非常崇高的工作，将来也想做这份工作。”她在一段视频中说。“虽然我很高兴人们能理解我们的工作，但我不得不说这是一份相当艰巨的工作，不是一时冲动就能做的。你必须同时做好心理和身体上的准备。”

"Some people said, 'I think this is a very lofty job, and I want to do it in the future,'" she said in a video. "While I'm glad that people understand our work, I have to say this is quite a difficult job and not something one should do on impulse. You have to be mentally and physically prepared."

“摆渡人”团队也这样建议。“每当有求职者来面试时，我们都会再三告诫他们，这份工作需要全天候待命，需要技巧，包括与人沟通的技巧。曾经有一个新手，只坚持了一天就辞职了。”

The Baiduren team thinks along the same lines. "Whenever we have job applicants come in for interview, we warn them again and again that this work requires being on call 24/7 and that it requires skills, including the skill of communicating with people," said Shen. "Once we had a newbie that lasted for just one day and quit."