女儿大学毕业了(写给女儿的信) (w English)
母亲节早上醒来，一边等着女儿的母亲节问候，一边起身写下此文。
再过两三天，女儿就大学毕业了，作为母亲的我，如今有博客了，是不是该写点什么？写封信吧，一个母亲写给女儿的信，以此纪念之。
女儿,
这就毕业了，妈妈不知道你是不是盼着这一天的到来，盼得望眼欲穿。人们都说，大学是人生最美好的年华，而在你则不尽其然。清楚地记得四年前送你上大学的一幕。眼泪婆娑的你站在宿舍大楼前跟我们挥手告别，那一刹那，看着你泪眼中写满的留恋和孤单，妈妈流泪了。四年了，只有妈妈知道你一个人承受了多少，成熟了多少，长大了多少。从一个开始打电话哭着喊着， ”太难念了，读不下去，要回家”的你，到后来不再打电话抱怨课程，学期大考结束后，简单的三个字“考完了!”，这感叹号里包含了太多情绪。妈妈知道，你为今天毕业的两个double majors和毕业后的这份工作付出太多，吃了不少苦。妈妈虽然心疼，但曾经反复安慰和劝说的那句话却是，“妈妈知道你很辛苦，但你一定不是学校里/专业里最辛苦的那一位，一定有人比你更辛苦的。要相信你今天所吃的苦不是白吃的，将来终有一天会有回报，这种回报可能是物质上，或许更多的是精神上的，因为每吃一次苦，你对苦痛的承受能力就增加一分。”
是啊，苦难是人生最好的大学，它是财富，将教会你顺境里无法体验的东西，磨练你，让你更快成熟。
但是，今天妈妈又想说，人生下来不是为了吃苦的，学习工作的最终目的是为了让自己生活得更好。人生本来就该是多姿多彩的，更何况你这个年纪，正是青春绽放的时候。所以希望在你走出大学四年的stressful life后，在探索人生事业的同时，不忘享受人生，享受青春的美丽，做你想做的事，那样，等你到了妈妈这个年纪，再回首时才能无怨无悔，没有太多遗憾。
大学毕业，人生的课堂却远没有毕业，你要学的东西还太多太多，而妈妈不再有太多机会手把手教，面对面谈，更何况，妈妈自身的阅历和经验也有限，自己也不停地犯错。所以，路要靠你自己走，不要怕犯错，不要惧怕困难，大胆勇敢面对一切。因为年轻，你有犯错、重头再来的资本和奢侈。
还有几个月，你就要离开我们，真正踏进职场，走入社会这个更大的课堂。这个课堂要学的东西永无止境。如果说，妈妈(爸爸)还有什么寄语的话，能想到的是下面几点：
首先，要学会做人，做事，与人相处。如何对待工作生活上的烦恼，积极乐观。做到胜不骄，败不馁，希望你既要有 “人生狭路相逢勇为先”, 又能明白，人生有时却是“进则山穷水尽，退则柳暗花明， 退一步海阔天空”, 记得小时候学的成语故事“塞翁失马”，人生的得和失有时候并不是你想象的那样。我们一起学习，做一个有智慧的人。
其二，你虽然不跟爸妈一起生活了，但希望我们的沟通渠道永远畅通，虽然爸妈在你生活中的作用和干预会越来越小，但是，如果面临重大决策决定，还希望你能及早与我们交流。另外，欢迎你随时回家，家里的那间房、那盏灯永远为你留着、亮着。
其三， 希望你多交朋友，尤其到了一个新环境。中国有句老话说，在家靠父母，出门靠朋友。有人把朋友比作是人生路上两旁的树，需要你的浇灌，才能在你累了、需要停靠的时候给你依靠，给你遮蔽。
最后，也是最重要的是，希望你收获爱情，将来成立一个自己的幸福小家庭。妈妈曾说过，你无法选择父母，但你可以选择你人生的伴侣。而做到这一点，需要你多交朋友，多交几个才知道自己真正需要什么样的人一起共度此生。You are what your choice is.
写到这儿，爸爸让我替他说几句。他说，他今生最大的legacy就是你，希望你 build up your character, 有智慧有勇气面对人生的困难，积极乐观宽容，享受生活，享受工作，享受大自然。还有就是他的期盼，概括了，就是他那老调重弹的三S, Be sweet, smart and strong.
记得有一年生日，你写给妈妈的text里说，“Thank you for giving me life," 为此妈妈的回复是，Thank you for being my daughter". 是啊，谢谢你做妈妈的女儿，因为有你，妈妈的人生才完整，因为有你，妈妈才有一生中最大的骄傲。(草稿于母亲节，成稿于5/17/2017 北上的路上)
A flurry of emotions ran through mom’s heart as your graduation day is drawing near. When did Mom last write to you, formally, I mean? The day when you left us for a week-long outdoor education at 5th grade? We never took any graduations seriously, thinking that it was not a big deal to graduate from elementary school, middle school or high school. We are just not a party family, and by not holding parties, Mom saved herself all the hassles involved. (Please forgive mom for not doing that, and for all the mistakes Mom made in raising you. How I wish that there were a rewind or a pause button in life!) Now comes possibly your last graduation, and we probably won’t have a party either. But since Mom has a blog, shouldn’t I at least write something here for you, my sweetheart?
But where shall I start, my baby? From the day that I brought you over in the airplane to join Dad when you were barely three? Dad said that when he picked us up at the airport, you were so little, skinny and shy, hiding behind mom timidly. You looked at him like a stranger. On the first night, you asked him to sleep on the floor, unwilling to share the bed with him. It seemed like just yesterday and today you are graduating from a COLLEGE! The nineteen years have made you grow from a toddler to a blossoming young lady!
People said that college is the best four years of the life, and I don’t know if you ever agree. To you, it is not automatically so. You were so reluctant and dreadful of going back to school after the break, as you anticipated another stressful school year ahead of you. I bet your feeling now must be mixed, as you’ve been through with sweat and tears, and matured into a stronger girl. After all, the four years college does offer you freedom, opportunity, resources, and visions, a place you spent your youth with tons of crazy and fun peers, a place that will leave marks in your memory. You are better off now for what the college has taught you about your resilience and inner strengths. And for that, you should be grateful.
In a few months, you will start working and embark on a new journey in your life. While you may feel relieved from the stressful school life, you shouldn't expect your work life to be stress-free. Conflicts may arise from the workplace. Your boss may be unfair and prejudiced. If that ever happens, don’t’ be afraid but learn to handle it. And if you ever want to, you can always count on us as a venue to vent or for advice. There may have things that we know that you don’t know, and it does not hurt to communicate with us. Besides, bear in your mind your dad’s “warning” that your technical skills can only make you survive. It is your EQ, your personality and other soft things that will make you thrive. True. Success is determined in a way by who you are, how you treat others and how you handle things.
Once you are out of college, it may take more work to maintain friendship. But it is so worth your time and effort to keep them. They are like the windows through which you see the outside world. They are your life line. Maintain the old friend circle, keep connected, and on top of that, expand them with new friends. Sometimes some friends may let you down, but all in all investing in friendship will pay off.
Last but not least, there is no place like home. You are always on our mind and in our hearts. You are our pride and we are here for you.
I found below an inspirational quote for you from Mark Twain, who said "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. "
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来源: 文学城-暖冬cool夏