The Starbucks in Eve’s Belly# LeisureTime - 读书听歌看电影
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In Eve’s belly, there is a Starbucks. In the Starbucks, there are three
cells working for the Fatissue Bank in Eve’s belly, Eric, Stan and Kenny.
These guys are having coffee, eating the cigarettes and blablablabla in the
Starbucks.
Eric: hey, you know what, we’re gonna be fired.
Stan: what the hell?
Eric: now Eve is in the diet, which means she stops taking in fatty acid and
cholesterol.
Kenny: so what?
Eric: that means without fatty acid and cholesterol, our bank can not be
functioning and we will lose our damn job!
Kenny: you know what dude, it’s far beyond good. I am just sick of this
shitty job.
Stan: oh fuck you Kenny! I’ve been in this bank for like 20 years or more,
since Eve was a totally ignorant baby in her mum’s womb. And how can you
little piece of shit say that to me?
Kenny: oh come on, Stan! 70 hours’ work a week, 1000 bucks a month, who’s
gonna do this shitty job except the fucking losers like us?
Eric: hey come on, men, stop barking each other. Who’s interested in
hearing why Eve wanna be in the stupid diet?
Stan: why? Because her crazy estrogen has risen from her little tiny poor
ovay to her donkey-dump brain?
Eric: well, sort of, you know. Actually guess what? Eve is dating with Adam.
Kenny: Adam? The cock sucker Adam?
Eric: Yes, the cock sucker Adam.
Kenny: Oh my God, I just know it!
Stan: Why? Why he sounds like so damn good?
Eric: well, the cock sucker Adam is very famous of his knife-cut belly. And
his knife-cut belly is very famous in hooking up some girls. And our lovely
hostess, Miss Eve, is happened to be this type of girl.
Stan: so what?
Kenny: this means Eve’s gonna be dumped off by the cock sucker Adam within
24 hours after she fucked him in the motel.
Eric: and this means it’s totally nonsense for her to be in the diet,
stopping taking in fatty acid and cholesterol and kicking off the hard
workers or damn losers like us.
Stan: but why she wanna fuck him? Only because of the damn knife-cut belly?
Kenny: also because her belly is like an ass, and her ass is like a belly.
This is something called Sexual Compensation between man and woman.
Eric: wow, Sexual Compensation, interesting theory! Anyway, the other reason
that I happened to know is that by fucking him, Eve can be qualified as a
member of I-Fuck-With-Adam Club. And this lovely yet underground club is so
damn popular among Eve’s female classmates.
Stan: oh, her classmates are nothing but a bunch of whores. What a sunny day!
Kenny: so, the thing is that when she’s gonna fuck him?
Eric: in 3 or 4 days, or something like that.
Stan: ha, how do you know that, Eric? When jerking off yourself in the
bathroom?
Eric: oh, shut the fuck up, old man! I’ve slept with a chick in Eve’s
uterus a couple of weeks ago. And the little whore gave me the schedule of
Eve’s menstral cycle as a souvenir for the 1st fuck that we had. And
according to this accurate schedule, Eve is now in the period. That’s why
she tried her best to be a virgin in front of the cock sucker Adam when they
had dinner in China town last night.
Kenny: hey dude, is that schedule in form of an Excel file?
Eric: yes. Why?
Kenny: well, to be perfect honest, I just saw it in your iPhone a couple of
days ago.
Eric: oh thanks Kenny, you fucking FBI.
Stan: now gentlemen, what the fuck can we do?
Eric: what the fuck can we do? I say I will try to find a job in Eve’s
uterus. The little whore I fucked seems to have some pretty interesting
local connections. How about you, Kenny?
Kenny: I think the best fuck should be done is to get a position in the
Fatissue Bank in her ass. My assumption is that she’s gonna do some
investment to her Midwest-plain ass, which means a lot of chances. Trust me,
A-Fucking-Lot-Of!
Stan: curiously, the thing is that how can you be there? You need the damn
green card!
Kenny: what? The damn green card? Is it the thing you’re asking? Let me
tell you the truth, old man, what you need to do for that is to spend a
couple of thousand bucks to marry a stupid native woman dumped by a hundred
of foreigners within ten years in Eve’s ass. Then, not only the green card
but also the citizenship of Eve’s ass will be in your pocket. Now, what do
you say, Stan?
Stan: I say I will be around and miss you guys. And, why don’t you warriors
pay the damn tip for me?
Eric: oh great! Hey there’s one more thing, Stan?
Stan: what?
Eric and Kenny: Fuck you!
cells working for the Fatissue Bank in Eve’s belly, Eric, Stan and Kenny.
These guys are having coffee, eating the cigarettes and blablablabla in the
Starbucks.
Eric: hey, you know what, we’re gonna be fired.
Stan: what the hell?
Eric: now Eve is in the diet, which means she stops taking in fatty acid and
cholesterol.
Kenny: so what?
Eric: that means without fatty acid and cholesterol, our bank can not be
functioning and we will lose our damn job!
Kenny: you know what dude, it’s far beyond good. I am just sick of this
shitty job.
Stan: oh fuck you Kenny! I’ve been in this bank for like 20 years or more,
since Eve was a totally ignorant baby in her mum’s womb. And how can you
little piece of shit say that to me?
Kenny: oh come on, Stan! 70 hours’ work a week, 1000 bucks a month, who’s
gonna do this shitty job except the fucking losers like us?
Eric: hey come on, men, stop barking each other. Who’s interested in
hearing why Eve wanna be in the stupid diet?
Stan: why? Because her crazy estrogen has risen from her little tiny poor
ovay to her donkey-dump brain?
Eric: well, sort of, you know. Actually guess what? Eve is dating with Adam.
Kenny: Adam? The cock sucker Adam?
Eric: Yes, the cock sucker Adam.
Kenny: Oh my God, I just know it!
Stan: Why? Why he sounds like so damn good?
Eric: well, the cock sucker Adam is very famous of his knife-cut belly. And
his knife-cut belly is very famous in hooking up some girls. And our lovely
hostess, Miss Eve, is happened to be this type of girl.
Stan: so what?
Kenny: this means Eve’s gonna be dumped off by the cock sucker Adam within
24 hours after she fucked him in the motel.
Eric: and this means it’s totally nonsense for her to be in the diet,
stopping taking in fatty acid and cholesterol and kicking off the hard
workers or damn losers like us.
Stan: but why she wanna fuck him? Only because of the damn knife-cut belly?
Kenny: also because her belly is like an ass, and her ass is like a belly.
This is something called Sexual Compensation between man and woman.
Eric: wow, Sexual Compensation, interesting theory! Anyway, the other reason
that I happened to know is that by fucking him, Eve can be qualified as a
member of I-Fuck-With-Adam Club. And this lovely yet underground club is so
damn popular among Eve’s female classmates.
Stan: oh, her classmates are nothing but a bunch of whores. What a sunny day!
Kenny: so, the thing is that when she’s gonna fuck him?
Eric: in 3 or 4 days, or something like that.
Stan: ha, how do you know that, Eric? When jerking off yourself in the
bathroom?
Eric: oh, shut the fuck up, old man! I’ve slept with a chick in Eve’s
uterus a couple of weeks ago. And the little whore gave me the schedule of
Eve’s menstral cycle as a souvenir for the 1st fuck that we had. And
according to this accurate schedule, Eve is now in the period. That’s why
she tried her best to be a virgin in front of the cock sucker Adam when they
had dinner in China town last night.
Kenny: hey dude, is that schedule in form of an Excel file?
Eric: yes. Why?
Kenny: well, to be perfect honest, I just saw it in your iPhone a couple of
days ago.
Eric: oh thanks Kenny, you fucking FBI.
Stan: now gentlemen, what the fuck can we do?
Eric: what the fuck can we do? I say I will try to find a job in Eve’s
uterus. The little whore I fucked seems to have some pretty interesting
local connections. How about you, Kenny?
Kenny: I think the best fuck should be done is to get a position in the
Fatissue Bank in her ass. My assumption is that she’s gonna do some
investment to her Midwest-plain ass, which means a lot of chances. Trust me,
A-Fucking-Lot-Of!
Stan: curiously, the thing is that how can you be there? You need the damn
green card!
Kenny: what? The damn green card? Is it the thing you’re asking? Let me
tell you the truth, old man, what you need to do for that is to spend a
couple of thousand bucks to marry a stupid native woman dumped by a hundred
of foreigners within ten years in Eve’s ass. Then, not only the green card
but also the citizenship of Eve’s ass will be in your pocket. Now, what do
you say, Stan?
Stan: I say I will be around and miss you guys. And, why don’t you warriors
pay the damn tip for me?
Eric: oh great! Hey there’s one more thing, Stan?
Stan: what?
Eric and Kenny: Fuck you!
