j*g
2 楼
看看万能的上帝对我们吃饱折腾草地的看法吧。。。
唯一的区别是现在不 bag clippings 啦.
张老大
GOD's take on Lawn Care
http://www.comptechdoc.org/humor/garden/
GOD: Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is
going on down there? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and
stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those
plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with
abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies,
honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of
colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.
ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.
They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill
them and replace them with grass.
GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract
butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental
with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing
there?
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep
it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any
other plant that crops up in the lawn.
GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast.
That must make the Suburbanites happy.
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it
-sometimes twice a week.
GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
ST. FRANCIS: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And
when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.
GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on
the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a
lot of work.
ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops
growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they
can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer
stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring
to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the
ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect
the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance
the soil. It's a natural circle of life.
ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new
circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay
to have them hauled away.
GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter
and to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something
which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of
the leaves.
GOD: And where do they get this mulch?
ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
GOD: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're
in charge of the arts. What movie have they scheduled for us tonight?"
ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a really stupid movie about.....
GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
唯一的区别是现在不 bag clippings 啦.
张老大
GOD's take on Lawn Care
http://www.comptechdoc.org/humor/garden/
GOD: Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is
going on down there? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and
stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those
plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with
abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies,
honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of
colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.
ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.
They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill
them and replace them with grass.
GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract
butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental
with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing
there?
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep
it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any
other plant that crops up in the lawn.
GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast.
That must make the Suburbanites happy.
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it
-sometimes twice a week.
GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
ST. FRANCIS: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And
when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.
GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on
the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a
lot of work.
ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops
growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they
can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer
stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring
to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the
ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect
the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance
the soil. It's a natural circle of life.
ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new
circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay
to have them hauled away.
GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter
and to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something
which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of
the leaves.
GOD: And where do they get this mulch?
ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
GOD: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're
in charge of the arts. What movie have they scheduled for us tonight?"
ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a really stupid movie about.....
GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
s*y
3 楼
新买的房子后院有几棵大树,所以树下几乎什么都不长。连草都没有,所以一直想着这
么利用这片地。我听别人说可以在树下种香菇什么的?有谁知道这个该怎么搞?我们的
树经常落下很多叶子和树干什么的,如果能利用这些来种蘑菇那就太好了。但是又不知
道香菇(或者随便什么能吃的蘑菇)能不能用干叶子来当培养基。另外,该怎么处理那
些干叶子才能长蘑菇呢?
么利用这片地。我听别人说可以在树下种香菇什么的?有谁知道这个该怎么搞?我们的
树经常落下很多叶子和树干什么的,如果能利用这些来种蘑菇那就太好了。但是又不知
道香菇(或者随便什么能吃的蘑菇)能不能用干叶子来当培养基。另外,该怎么处理那
些干叶子才能长蘑菇呢?
j*9
4 楼
New Jersey big Pharm company is open for SAS programmers. They don't
take part time and salary depend on your work experience. This is full time
position. you don't have to have work experience, but You must hold Master
degree or Ph.D with major of Statistics, Bio-statistics, applied statistics
and Mathematics or Applied Mathematics, Biology major and so on. Candidates
must be available immediately. They don't accept intern. If you are
interested in this position, You can send your resume to
[email protected]/* */
take part time and salary depend on your work experience. This is full time
position. you don't have to have work experience, but You must hold Master
degree or Ph.D with major of Statistics, Bio-statistics, applied statistics
and Mathematics or Applied Mathematics, Biology major and so on. Candidates
must be available immediately. They don't accept intern. If you are
interested in this position, You can send your resume to
[email protected]/* */
f*y
6 楼
还是不要在自己家种蘑菇吧,蘑菇一般都长在树林潮湿的地方
n*9
10 楼
常年5W
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