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昨天去儿子（kindergarten）班上作义工，发现儿子很不自信，列举如下：
1。 有几次不肯交作业（都是做小工艺品）。每次问他，他都说忘记了。我和他的老师
写电子邮件说过这个事情。直到这个周一，他有没有交turkey的project。这次他不可
能是忘记的，因为我特地把这个project和每周必须交回给老师的folder放在一起的（
project太大，不能放在folder里）。我感觉他是有意不交的，就告诉他，我要跟他的
老师去谈谈。他很害怕，就告诉我，他不是忘记了，是怕别人笑话他的project。说实
话，尽管他的project作的不是很fancy，但我们也是认认真真做的，不会太差。我有点
吃惊。然后联系到他前几次不肯交作业，我就给他的老师发了一封信：
Dear Mrs. xxx,
Harry didn’t turn in his Thanksgiving project yesterday. Obviously he didn'
t forget (I put the project with his holder together), but told me that he
was worried his project was not very well done and was afraid that he might
be laughed at, which is quite surprising to me. Before doing the project,we
had a lots of discussion about how to do the project. He told me tracing
fingers and the cutting them off can make turkey. This is the way we did the
project. He was quite happy about his work then. Why is he not confident in
himself now? Or maybe he was not so satisfied with it then? Sorry I don’t
mean to bother you. I feel this is a quite serious problem. I am trying to
figure out the reasons and find ways to help him gain confidence.
Any tips and advice from you will be highly appreciated!
Best,
xxx (Harry’s mom)
2。有个课堂作业老师要求画个大的南瓜，然后在南瓜里画个动物。当时我负责这个作
业。儿子绘画不好（我是艺术盲，也没有有意识的叫儿子绘画。正考虑这给他找个美术
老师。），胡乱地在纸上涂了几下。我看到后，问他想画什末。他说兔兔。我正琢磨着
怎末教他画，他的老师走过来（可能对我当时只顾着儿子又想发），提醒我也看看别的
小朋友（原话我不记得了。说得非常委婉，但字里行间和态度是那个意思。）我就告诉
她我儿子不知道怎莫画兔兔。他去拿来一本书，说儿子可以按照书上的兔子画。我反倒
有兔子的那一页（书非常厚），简单地告诉了儿子了以下（1-2分钟），就去看别的孩
子去了（别的孩子都很大方，对这个作业也似乎都胸有成足。）。不到2分钟的时间，
另一个孩子不会画别的动物，问老师，老师就示意儿子把书给那个小朋友看看。等那个
小朋友用完了没2分钟，另一个小朋友又告诉老师horse不会写。结果老师又从儿子那儿
把书拿走。我心想，你给他写在纸上不就得了吗？于是我又走到儿子那儿（儿子还是什
莫都没画），叫儿子一起画（总共不到5分钟），儿子画时我也同时瞄着别的小朋友。
儿子总算完成了作业（尽管不是很好）。他很但心别人会看到他的作业，做完后立
马把作业折起来，不象别的小朋友很大方的放桌子上。
3。做完上面的作业后，其他小朋友又三无成群的去drawing or painting，或者在一起
玩起他的，二儿子一个人在一个角落里玩logo，其间除了我没有一个小朋友或者老师过
去问他（一个主要任课老师，2个辅助老师，2个作义工的家长）。我问儿子为什末不和
小朋友一起玩，他说想玩logo。 我很怀疑他在学校时不是大多数课余期间都是一个人
玩。但儿子似乎不是害羞的人，平时和陌生人都很热情的打招呼。
说实话，我对他的老师是有意见的。以前儿子带回来的project好多都是乱涂鸦。估计
儿子不会做，也害怕别人看到，而老师和作义工的家长也没有管他（他们班上基本上每
天都有家长做义工）。我昨天是第一次去他的班上作义工（我全职上班，3个小孩）。
我昨天在时，主要的任课老师后面都不管的，全交给家长和辅助老师了。我很担心儿子
在学校经常每人管，也担心他由于各种各样的原因变得越来越不自信（以前在daycare
的时候我经常给他的老师送东西，聊天。那时他的老师挺喜欢他的，应该没有这个问题
。）。于是我今天又给老师发了封信，
Dear Mrs. xxx,
It was a great experience to volunteer at Room 4 yesterday! I will find time
to do more in the next several months.
I did realize some issues with Harry during my volunteering. For example,
when he did the pumpkin project, he didn’t know how to draw a rabbit. What
he did is not to ask or follow the rabbit example on the book, but
impatiently drew (looks like a mess to me) and then hided the project.
Obviously he didn’t want others to know about it. After the project was
done, he chose to play by himself in contrast to other kids who worked on
other projects (a group of kids worked on painting). I am not sure how often
this happens but it does bring concerns and regrets to me. I am an idiot in
arts like drawing and painting, and never taught them how to do it during
the past several years although I have been considering of finding a private
tutor for them. They were at daycare for the past 2 years and I didn’t
find much time to teach them others as well. In contrast to other kids,
Harry doesn’t seem quite confident in himself which makes me very concerned
, or maybe I am wrong.
I will highly appreciate any advice on how to work with Harry better.
Best,
Xxx
大家说我这样和他的老师交流有没有不妥。 另外，非常诚恳地请求如何提高小孩自信
的方子。
谢谢！
1。 有几次不肯交作业（都是做小工艺品）。每次问他，他都说忘记了。我和他的老师
写电子邮件说过这个事情。直到这个周一，他有没有交turkey的project。这次他不可
能是忘记的，因为我特地把这个project和每周必须交回给老师的folder放在一起的（
project太大，不能放在folder里）。我感觉他是有意不交的，就告诉他，我要跟他的
老师去谈谈。他很害怕，就告诉我，他不是忘记了，是怕别人笑话他的project。说实
话，尽管他的project作的不是很fancy，但我们也是认认真真做的，不会太差。我有点
吃惊。然后联系到他前几次不肯交作业，我就给他的老师发了一封信：
Dear Mrs. xxx,
Harry didn’t turn in his Thanksgiving project yesterday. Obviously he didn'
t forget (I put the project with his holder together), but told me that he
was worried his project was not very well done and was afraid that he might
be laughed at, which is quite surprising to me. Before doing the project,we
had a lots of discussion about how to do the project. He told me tracing
fingers and the cutting them off can make turkey. This is the way we did the
project. He was quite happy about his work then. Why is he not confident in
himself now? Or maybe he was not so satisfied with it then? Sorry I don’t
mean to bother you. I feel this is a quite serious problem. I am trying to
figure out the reasons and find ways to help him gain confidence.
Any tips and advice from you will be highly appreciated!
Best,
xxx (Harry’s mom)
2。有个课堂作业老师要求画个大的南瓜，然后在南瓜里画个动物。当时我负责这个作
业。儿子绘画不好（我是艺术盲，也没有有意识的叫儿子绘画。正考虑这给他找个美术
老师。），胡乱地在纸上涂了几下。我看到后，问他想画什末。他说兔兔。我正琢磨着
怎末教他画，他的老师走过来（可能对我当时只顾着儿子又想发），提醒我也看看别的
小朋友（原话我不记得了。说得非常委婉，但字里行间和态度是那个意思。）我就告诉
她我儿子不知道怎莫画兔兔。他去拿来一本书，说儿子可以按照书上的兔子画。我反倒
有兔子的那一页（书非常厚），简单地告诉了儿子了以下（1-2分钟），就去看别的孩
子去了（别的孩子都很大方，对这个作业也似乎都胸有成足。）。不到2分钟的时间，
另一个孩子不会画别的动物，问老师，老师就示意儿子把书给那个小朋友看看。等那个
小朋友用完了没2分钟，另一个小朋友又告诉老师horse不会写。结果老师又从儿子那儿
把书拿走。我心想，你给他写在纸上不就得了吗？于是我又走到儿子那儿（儿子还是什
莫都没画），叫儿子一起画（总共不到5分钟），儿子画时我也同时瞄着别的小朋友。
儿子总算完成了作业（尽管不是很好）。他很但心别人会看到他的作业，做完后立
马把作业折起来，不象别的小朋友很大方的放桌子上。
3。做完上面的作业后，其他小朋友又三无成群的去drawing or painting，或者在一起
玩起他的，二儿子一个人在一个角落里玩logo，其间除了我没有一个小朋友或者老师过
去问他（一个主要任课老师，2个辅助老师，2个作义工的家长）。我问儿子为什末不和
小朋友一起玩，他说想玩logo。 我很怀疑他在学校时不是大多数课余期间都是一个人
玩。但儿子似乎不是害羞的人，平时和陌生人都很热情的打招呼。
说实话，我对他的老师是有意见的。以前儿子带回来的project好多都是乱涂鸦。估计
儿子不会做，也害怕别人看到，而老师和作义工的家长也没有管他（他们班上基本上每
天都有家长做义工）。我昨天是第一次去他的班上作义工（我全职上班，3个小孩）。
我昨天在时，主要的任课老师后面都不管的，全交给家长和辅助老师了。我很担心儿子
在学校经常每人管，也担心他由于各种各样的原因变得越来越不自信（以前在daycare
的时候我经常给他的老师送东西，聊天。那时他的老师挺喜欢他的，应该没有这个问题
。）。于是我今天又给老师发了封信，
Dear Mrs. xxx,
It was a great experience to volunteer at Room 4 yesterday! I will find time
to do more in the next several months.
I did realize some issues with Harry during my volunteering. For example,
when he did the pumpkin project, he didn’t know how to draw a rabbit. What
he did is not to ask or follow the rabbit example on the book, but
impatiently drew (looks like a mess to me) and then hided the project.
Obviously he didn’t want others to know about it. After the project was
done, he chose to play by himself in contrast to other kids who worked on
other projects (a group of kids worked on painting). I am not sure how often
this happens but it does bring concerns and regrets to me. I am an idiot in
arts like drawing and painting, and never taught them how to do it during
the past several years although I have been considering of finding a private
tutor for them. They were at daycare for the past 2 years and I didn’t
find much time to teach them others as well. In contrast to other kids,
Harry doesn’t seem quite confident in himself which makes me very concerned
, or maybe I am wrong.
I will highly appreciate any advice on how to work with Harry better.
Best,
Xxx
大家说我这样和他的老师交流有没有不妥。 另外，非常诚恳地请求如何提高小孩自信
的方子。
谢谢！
