昨夜做了一个奇怪的梦,梦里见到川普了
这几天美国北方奇寒无比,春天离我们很远很远。昨天夜里,我做了一个梦,梦里已是春暖花开的季节,可以在菜地里开始种菜了。在扛着锄头下地干活的路上,我见到美国总统川普。
刚走到我们村子的路口,我就看到有一个人开着绿色的吉普车,在街角停了下来。车上走下一个人,穿着呢子大衣和翻毛皮鞋,朝一家饭店走去。我定神一看,这不是川普吗?
我放下肩上的锄头,走上前去,一把握住川普的手,用中国口音很浓重的美式英语对川普说:“Fancy meeting you in our rustic small village, Mr. President!”
“How are you doing? What do you think of my wall on our southern border with Mexico?”川普微笑着和我打招呼,并征询我对建墙的看法。
“I am against building a wall that stretches the whole US-Mexico border. The money for the wall can be used a lot more wisely elsewhere to beef up border security. However, I believe you can have some strategic locations identified along the border and have segments of wall built on these key locations.”我对川普道出了我对建墙的看法。
“Makes a lot of sense!”川普觉得我说得有些道理,继续问我:“If I were to be remembered by future generations of Americans as one of the greatest presidents, what would be the single thing I should do?”
“Flip a birdie at the vampiric interest groups in both the Democratic and Republican Parties! Completely revamp the U.S. immigration system. It should be a system based on merit and need. We want a country that will again become the magnet for the world’s top talents. As a president, you can make America great gain by building a great immigration system, not by building a wall.”我斗胆给川普提出了自己的看法。
“That is what I call great common sense! Beautiful!”川普好像赞同我的意见。接着,川普冷不然冒出一句:“No collusion!”
“I know! I know! It is a witch hunt!”我赶忙回答。
我们走着走着就来到了饭店的二楼。这饭店看起来有点像杭州的楼外楼,典型江南风格的建筑。饭店的工作人员看到川普到来,纷纷和他合影留念。这时候,我发现饭店厨房里的大厨很眼熟。仔细一看,原来是我小学的同班同学。同学看到我,主动过来和我打招呼。他说他现在是川普的大厨,川普到哪里,他就跟到哪里给他做饭。
我觉得有些奇怪,心想:我这位小学都没有毕业的同学怎么跑到美国,还做起川普的大厨来了?我同学邀请我留下来吃中饭,我说菜地里还有农活要干,就告辞离开了饭店。
出了饭店,我看到两个很大的人群。左边是川粉,右边是川黑。川粉们头戴小红帽,帽上绣有“MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN”字样。川黑们则举着各种反川普的牌子,口中高喊:“Lock him up! Lock him up!”
欢迎川普的川粉们和抗议川普的川黑们都激动的样子。川粉们很疯狂,就像当年的红卫兵快要见到毛主席的样子,热泪盈眶。川黑们很愤慨,就像当年的翻身老农民斗地主的样子,咬牙切齿。我没有理睬川粉和川黑,找到我的锄头,下地种菜去了。
我刚想把川普的微信小视频发到朋友圈里,就听到窗外呼啸的北风。原来我做了一个梦!我起床看了一下室外的温度计,零下摄氏15度!唉,冬天虽然来了,但春天还远得很呢!
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