关于幸福

关于幸福和快乐，已经想过很多，没有满意答案。

例如，生日时，如何令人或己感受快乐？礼物的效力实在有限。除了生日，一年364天，什么令人感到幸福？我想，可能是成长。外在的游历和内心的成长。

初读这本书，感觉是小小惊喜。居然，已经有人系统研究，而且亲身试验了这个课题！除了个人成长，还有很多其他的因素，而且提供了一些实用建议。“The Happiness Project”by Gretchen Rubin 是一本不忍心错过一页，不能快速跳读的书。特别记录如下。

Jan. Energy

Vitality. Sleep earlier; Exercise better; Toss, restore, organize; Tackle a nagging task; Act more energetic.

Feb. Remember Love

Marriage. Quit nagging; Don't expect appreciation; Fight right; No dumping(negative feelings); Give proofs of love.

Mar. Aim Higher

Work. Launch a blog; Enjoy the fun of failing; Look for help; Work smart; Enjoy now.

Apr. Lighten Up.

Parenthood. Sing in the morning; Acknowledge feelings; Be a treasure house of happy memories (recall and share, emails, photos); Take time for project.

May Be Serious about Play

Leisure. Find more time; Take time to be silly; Go off the path; Start a collection.

June Make Time for Friend

Friendship. Remember birthdays; Be generous; Show up; Don't gossip; Make 3 new friends.

July Buy Some Happiness

Money. Indulge in a modest splurge; Buy needful things(having more of what you like won't make you happier); Spend out; Give something up (recycle old electronics)

Aug. Contemplate the Haven

Eternity. Read memories of catastrophe; Keep a gratitude notebook(thankful for others); Imitate a spiritual master.

Sept. Pursue a Passion

Books(your own passion). Write a novel; Make time; Forget about results; Master a new technology.

Oct. Pay Attention.

Mindfulness. Meditation on Koans; Examine true rules (your priorities in life); Stimulate the mind in new ways(new hobbies); Keep a food diary.

Nov. Keep a Contented Heart

Attitude. Laugh out loud; Use good manner; Give positive reviews(feedbacks); Find an area of refuge(place, things, memories calm you down)

Dec. Boot Camp Perfect.

Boot Camp Perfect. Reviews of previous chapters.

Twelve Commandments:

1. Be yourself.

2. Let it go.

3. Act the way you want to feel (act energetic and feel energetic)

4. Do it now (1 minute rule)

5. Be polite and fair

6. Enjoy the process

7. Spend out

8. Identify the problem

9. Lighten up

10. Do what ought to be done

11. No calculation ( giving vs receiving)

12. There is only love

Some Secrets of Adulthood:

People don't notice your mistakes as much as you think
It's ok to ask for help
Most decisions don't require extensive research
Do good. Feel good.
It's important to be nice to everyone.
Bring a sweater.
By doing a little bit every day you can get a lot accomplished.
Soap and water remove most stains.
Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
You can choose what you do but you can't choose what you like to do.
What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.
You don't have to be good at everything.
If you are not failing you are not trying hard enough.
Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.
What's fun for other people may not be fun for you. Vice versa.

Studies shows:

Intimate moment is face to face conversation for women, but working/playing sitting alongside (saying nothing) for men.

It take at least five positive marital actions to offset one critical or destructive action.