如果你是招生官，你更喜欢哪一篇文书

给你们看两篇优秀的文书。这两篇都是疫情中征服了AO的好文书。有趣的是，两篇的主题都是美国政治的两极分化。而且呢，两篇的作者都是亚裔女生。虽有如此种种共同之处，这两篇质量却是各有千秋。来看看我们自己的文书欣赏水平。

第一篇

《Left And Right Don't Exist》

 

The first lesson I learned as a student pilot is that left and right don’t exist. Maybe driving on a highway or in a parking lot, left and right is precise enough to describe the location and movements of slow-moving bikers, pedestrians, and cars. But at 36,000 feet in the air in a steel tube hurdling almost 200 miles an hour? Left and right just don’t cut it.

During one of my first flights in as mall Cessna-182, my flight instructor ordered me to scan the horizon for approaching aircrafts. To my right, I caught a glimpse of one: another Cessna with maroon stripes, the sun’s reflection glinting off its windows. Gesturing vaguely to my two o’clock, I informed my flying instructor, “There’s a plane to the right.”

“No, to your right. From his position, what direction does he see you?” From his angle, I was to his left. In that moment, I realized that perspective and precision of language is everything. The radio chirped: “Cessna One-Eight-Two Sandra, heading north to John Wayne Airport. Over.”

I navigate using my compass’s north, east, south, and west directions because every pilot’s vantage point differs from each other both vertically and horizontally, creating opposite perspectives. My right was that pilot’s left.

Through flying, I began to consider all points of view, regardless of my personal perspective.

Perhaps it was my ability to scan the horizon to communicate a single story, uniting contrasting outlooks, that drew me to my love for journalism and the diverse melting pot that was my community.

To me, journalism modernizes the ancient power of storytelling, filled with imperfect characters and intricate conflicts to which I am the narrator. As editor-in-chief for my school newspaper, The Wildcat’s Tale, I aim to share the uncensored perspective of all students and encourage my editorial groups to talk — and listen — to those with whom they disagree. Starting each newspaper edition with a socratic, round-table discussion, I ask the other journalists to pursue stories that answer the questions: why did this happen and where will it lead?

Expanding beyond the perspectives of my classmates, I began writing articles for the Korea Daily, and later, the Los Angeles Times High School Insider. I schedule interviews with city council candidates, young and old voters, and mayors of my town, obtaining quotes and anecdotes to weave into my writing. My interviews with both Democratic and Republican voters have taught me to thoroughly report polarizing-opposite opinions through an unbiased lens. As a journalist, I realized I cannot presume the opinions of the reader, but instead simply provide them with the tools necessary to formulate their own conclusions.

However, differences in perspective in my articles are not solely limited to politics. I found that in my suburban community, people love to read about the small-town hospitality of their own friends and neighbors. Quirky traditions, like our Fourth of July carnival clown and local elementary school’s Thanksgiving talent show, are equally as important to me as national headlines are. My favorite stories to publish are the ones taped onto fridges, proudly framed on the mom-and-pop downtown diner, or pinned into the corkboard in my teacher’s classroom. I discovered the size of my story does not matter, but the impact I leave on the reader does.

In my time as both a student pilot and journalist, I grew to love these stories, the ones that showed me that living life with blinders, can not only be boring, but dangerous. Whether I was 36,000feet in the air or on ground level, by flying and writing, I realized that the most interesting stories of life come straight from the people most different from me.

 

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第二篇

《From Christianity To Different Truth》

 

“Ella, what did you think of Douglass’s view on Christianity?” I gulped. Increasingly powerful palpitations throbbed in my heart as my eyes darted around the classroom – searching for a profound response to Dr. Franklin’s question. I took a deep breath while reaching the most genuine answer I could conjure.

“Professor, I don’t know.”

Dr. Franklin stared at me blankly as he attempted to interpret the thoughts I didn’t voice. My lack of familiarity with the assigned text wasn’t a consideration that crossed his mind because he was familiar with my past contributions to class discussions. I was a fervent critic of the corrupted culture behind Christianity of the Puritans in Hawthorne’s “Young Goodman Brown” and modern evangelicals involved in the puzzling divinity of Donald Trump. He arched his flummoxed brows as he began to open his mouth.

“Professor, what I mean is that I’m not sure whether or not I even have a say on Douglass’s statements on Christianity in his Narrative of the Life.”

In class, I often separated the culture of Christianity from the religion. To tie these immensely disparate concepts as one and coin it as Christianity would present fallacies that contradict with the Christianity I knew. Lack of tolerance and hostility were products of humans’ sinful nature – not the teachings of Christ. People were just using Christianity as an excuse to exalt themselves rather than the holy name of Jesus. These were the “facts.”

My greatest realization came when Douglass declared Christian slave-holders as the worst slave-holders he ever met because of their deceptive feign of piety and use of Christianity to justify the oppression of their slaves. I realized that I couldn’t bring myself to raise the same argument that I used to convince myself that my Christianity of love was the only true Christianity. To Douglass, Christianity was the opposite. I didn’t want to dismiss his story. People use this sacred religion to spread hatred, and to many, this is the only Christianity they know. Their experiences aren’t any bit falser than mine.

Christianity isn’t the only culture that harbors truth that transcends the “facts.” America’s less of a perfect amalgamation of different ethnic cultures and more of a society severed by tribal conflicts rooted in the long established political culture of the nation. Issues such as racism, white privilege, and gender disparity are highly salient topics of current political discussion. However, during a time when people can use online platforms with algorithms that provide content they want to see, we fail to acknowledge the truth in other people’s experiences and express empathy.

As a Korean-American in the South, I am no stranger to intolerance. I remember the countless instances of people mocking my parents for their English pronunciation and my brother’s stutter. Because their words were less eloquent, people deemed their thoughts as less valuable as well. I protect my family and translate their words whenever they have a doctor’s appointment or need more ketchup at McDonald’s. My protective nature drives my desire to connect with different people and build understanding. To do so, however, I step outside my Korean American Southern Baptist paradigm because my experiences do not constitute everyone else’s.

Excluded from the Manichaean narrative of this country, I observe the turmoil in our nation through a separate lens - a blessing and a curse. Not only do I find myself awkwardly fixed in a black vs. white America, but I also fail to define my identity sandwiched between Korean and American. In the end, I find myself stuck amongst the conventional labels and binaries that divide America.

“You seem to work harder than most to understand other people’s points of view,” Dr. Franklin said after I shared these thoughts to the class.

“I find this easier because I spent my childhood assuming that my culture was always the exception,” I replied. As an anomaly, accepting different truths is second nature.

 

 

• 感觉第一篇有点平淡，除了飞行员这件事不简单，第二篇好像有点独特，因为这个原因感觉有点深度，如果一定要二选一应该是这篇。感觉第二篇作者是大藤料 - 米汤 - ♂    (44 bytes) (49 reads) 05/05/2022  21:32:15

• 什么孩子会高中学开飞机呢 - 贾平凸 - ♂    (0 bytes) (4 reads) 05/06/2022  05:15:38

• 加州亚裔高中生开飞机不多，应该是有钱又有冒险独行意识，但文章没提到喜欢冒险独行，可能在这里拿飞机驾照不是太大事。韩裔舍得花钱给小孩，不一定是家里多有钱以前好像飞机驾照几千刀可以学到，小中可能骑马更常见，有些小留喜欢做这个

 - 米汤 - ♂    (188 bytes) (15 reads) 05/06/2022  08:18:15

• 肯定是第二篇，信仰算是一个不能碰的题材吧，写成这样而且还有深度很不容易。第一篇凸显了孩子的priviledge，无深度。 - windyLL - ♀   (0 bytes) (8 reads) 05/05/2022  21:57:59

• 感觉一般人对第二篇讨论的人物是谁都不一定了解，能有分析，并联系到自己的背景和思想的高中生不简单。读的时候猜Douglass 是基督徒奴隶主。父母到了高中有时瞎指挥真会帮倒忙。给孩子足够空间，出主意的时候必须给出自己的分析和出发点，便于孩子取舍。

 - 米汤 - ♂    (245 bytes) (53 reads) 05/05/2022  22:14:31

• 是，而且明确的表现了丝糕的背景，感觉好像是针对yale（或者Princeton？）的essay。 - windyLL - ♀   (0 bytes) (8 reads) 05/05/2022  22:20:45

• 是不是在丝高称老师为教授？ - 米汤 - ♂    (0 bytes) (2 reads) 05/05/2022  22:47:48

• 不会啊，一般有博士的老师要称Dr 某某，但没有叫教授的，他们不是啊。莫非是到大学选课？ - windyLL - ♀   (0 bytes) (5 reads) 05/05/2022  22:50:07

• 如何看出这篇来自私高？是因为课程讨论的内容吗？ - 米汤 - ♂    (0 bytes) (4 reads) 05/05/2022  22:54:46

• 对，没有一个公高有能力开这种选修课，顶级丝糕很常见。但你怀疑的有道理，也有可能是去大学上课。intellectual的话题+自己移民的背景，是针对东岸T3的，尤其是Y或P。 - windyLL - ♀   (97 bytes) (47 reads) 05/05/2022  23:01:57 (1)

• 大学教授到高中兼课？CC 或者大学的课？暑期大学里的夏令营？上了这门课里面那几个名字自然就都知道了。这篇里面简单粗暴show off 有点多。立意也太政治正确有点cheat shot。思维也不太深刻。我不怎么喜欢。 - randomness - ♀   (144 bytes) (29 reads) 05/06/2022  05:25:11

• 想想普通AO只能花上1，2分钟读这个，简单粗暴是必要的。思想那么有深度的人就不会当AO而去做教授了。我们自己写过essay的就知道太多不能碰的题材，不能用的词语，加上字数限制，加上体贴AO的种种，最后就不是伟大的文学作品了。 - windyLL - ♀   (183 bytes) (15 reads) 05/06/2022  07:52:35

• Fred Douglas考过SAT的知道是谁 - 贾平凸 - ♂    (71 bytes) (37 reads) 05/06/2022  06:20:48

• 小学生就知道是谁了吧，到处有以他命名的桥和路，我儿子五或六年级在黑人月做了内战和奴隶解放运动的PPT，读了很多文献 - 飞黎 - ♀   (0 bytes) (1 reads) 05/06/2022  10:08:21

• 是啊，放羊的父母靠及时google - 米汤 - ♂    (0 bytes) (2 reads) 05/06/2022  10:23:46

• 两篇都算一般好吧？文笔平直。第二篇主题有点危险，不过因为是批判性谈基督教所以过了AO关 - randomness - ♀   (0 bytes) (7 reads) 05/06/2022  05:13:47

• 您的标准真高 - 贾平凸 - ♂    (0 bytes) (0 reads) 05/06/2022  06:21:45

• Accept or not, identity is not political, but personal。They are equally good, equally convincing.  The legend says, when one of their peers picks up the essay from the floor littered with essays, one could return it to the rightful writer. These two essays are very personal, personally identifiable. - yude - ♂    (266 bytes) (33 reads) 05/06/2022  06:32:51

• 第二篇好点，但有点乱。观察是很不错的：the Manichaean narrative of this country - tibuko - ♂    (0 bytes) (4 reads) 05/06/2022  06:33:16

• 我喜欢第一篇。特别是这段：“No, to your right. From his position, what direction does he see you?” From his angle, I was to his left. In that moment, I realized that perspective and precision of language is everything. The radio chirped: “Cessna One-Eight-Two Sandra, heading north to John Wayne Airport. Over.” - 最爱韭菜盒子 - ♀   (799 bytes) (19 reads) 05/06/2022  09:47:33

• 前面还不错开飞机吸引人，但接下来有点平铺直叙, 堆砌了做过的事，感觉自述过多虎头蛇尾。读者预期是特立独行离经叛道的品格 - 米汤 - ♂    (0 bytes) (6 reads) 05/06/2022  10:11:18

• 文章写了自己的growth，但没有对community的impact，因为这是个priviledge的community，不需要小孩的impact - windyLL - ♀   (216 bytes) (22 reads) 05/06/2022  10:18:03

• 这位AO评出了要点 - 米汤 - ♂    (0 bytes) (4 reads) 05/06/2022  10:19:50

• 哈哈，显然真AO不这么想，也说明了Essay不是rate-limiting step。 - windyLL - ♀   (0 bytes) (0 reads) 05/06/2022  10:22:54

• 都还行，涉世未深的年轻人的愤世嫉俗，应该不是写手写的 - 飞黎 - ♀   (0 bytes) (0 reads) 05/06/2022  10:12:00

• 第一篇有好的立意，开头和结尾都不错，但文笔不怎么样，太多 I 和my. - fish100 - ♀   (0 bytes) (2 reads) 05/06/2022  10:18:05