悟空,你变成避孕套吧,今天为师要亲自收拾这个女妖精 - 未名空间MITBBS历史存档

国际科技财经博客移民网络热点娱乐民生时事公众号

Redian新闻

>未名空间

>WaterWorld - 未名水世界

悟空,你变成避孕套吧,今天为师要亲自收拾这个女妖精

悟空,你变成避孕套吧,今天为师要亲自收拾这个女妖精# WaterWorld - 未名水世界

r*u2011-02-03 08:02

1 楼

唐僧：悟空，你变成宝马吧，下雨了，马不能骑啦。
唐僧：悟空，你变成避孕套吧，今天为师要亲自收拾这个女妖精。
唐僧：悟空，你变成伟哥吧，今天为师要亲自收拾这个女妖精，直到她求饶。
唐僧：今天好无聊。。。悟空。。。你变成女妖精吧。。。
一天路过沙漠，唐僧吵着要女妖精，可是周围一片荒凉，别说妖精，连只蚂蚁也找不到
。
唐僧：悟空。。。你变成女妖精吧！
悟空不从。
唐僧又去找八戒，八戒借口减肥，溜到一边做俯卧撑去了。
去找沙僧，沙僧借口打酱油，跑了。
唐僧生气了，回来又找到悟空：悟空，你再不变成女妖精，为师要念紧箍咒了！
悟空想了想，把正在做俯卧撑的猪八戒变成了女妖精。
唐僧和一只女妖精正打得火热，没想到早泄了。唐僧非常沮丧。
出来找悟空：悟空，快变成伟哥吧！
悟空想都没想，直接把猪八戒变成了伟哥。
一天清早，唐僧又唠唠叨叨地说要女妖精。悟空被他唠叨烦了，出去找，过了一会带回
来一只女妖精送到唐僧的帐篷里。
唐僧酣战到傍晚，才满意地出来。
悟空：师傅，女妖精可称心？
唐僧：还行，又白又丰满，可就是不动、不说话、也不JIAO床！
忽然，沙僧急匆匆地过来：师傅、大师兄，二师兄早上失踪了，我找了一天没找到，不
知道他去哪儿了！
猪八戒总被变成女妖精让唐僧搞，被搞得恼了，总想找机会报复。
一天，唐僧又吵着要女妖精，悟空和沙僧都出去找，猪八戒跑得慢，被唐僧逮住。无奈
，只好又变成女妖精。可是唐僧偏偏来了兴致，非要猪八戒口BAO，猪八戒很生气，一
口把唐僧的JJ咬了下来，疼得唐僧在地上打滚。这时悟空和沙僧带了两只如花似玉的女
妖精回来了，唐僧一下从地上跳起来大叫：快把八戒变成我的 JJ，为师今天要亲自收
拾这两个女妖精！
凡是唐僧要路过的地方，女妖们都闻风而逃，所以唐僧经常都不能如愿。一天晚上，唐
僧起来解手，忽然撞见猪八戒抱着一个女妖正在嘿咻。。。唐僧大怒：八戒退下！为师
要亲自收拾这个女妖精！
八戒正在兴头上，哀求道：师傅，不能一起3P吗？
唐僧：可以！
于是又把猪八戒变成了女妖精

m*l2011-02-03 08:02

2 楼

LOL
第二段应该把沙僧变成伟哥
小猪变成伟哥, 猴子的屁股就遭殃了

【在 r***u 的大作中提到】

: 唐僧：悟空，你变成宝马吧，下雨了，马不能骑啦。
: 唐僧：悟空，你变成避孕套吧，今天为师要亲自收拾这个女妖精。
: 唐僧：悟空，你变成伟哥吧，今天为师要亲自收拾这个女妖精，直到她求饶。
: 唐僧：今天好无聊。。。悟空。。。你变成女妖精吧。。。
: 一天路过沙漠，唐僧吵着要女妖精，可是周围一片荒凉，别说妖精，连只蚂蚁也找不到
: 。
: 唐僧：悟空。。。你变成女妖精吧！
: 悟空不从。
: 唐僧又去找八戒，八戒借口减肥，溜到一边做俯卧撑去了。
: 去找沙僧，沙僧借口打酱油，跑了。

m*l2011-02-03 08:02

3 楼

my favorite joke (long, funny as hell, and might help you in future):
One evening, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT? WHAT WAS THAT?"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to
my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not
what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
=====
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from
all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally
said, "I think this is all, dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me
for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

【在 m********l 的大作中提到】

: LOL
: 第二段应该把沙僧变成伟哥
: 小猪变成伟哥, 猴子的屁股就遭殃了