Redian新闻
>
哈佛心理学家研究六技巧养育“好”孩子

哈佛心理学家研究六技巧养育“好”孩子

公众号新闻

高科技正在绑架孩子,父母怎么办?

数码时代的爸爸妈妈们越来越意识到,这个世界正在使出各种高科技手段来吸引他们孩子的注意力。每翻动一页手机屏幕,每点击一下鼠标,父母们都会被各种最前沿的育儿理念轮番轰炸,被育儿焦虑症困扰。

尽管现代化正在以惊人的速度发生,但养育一个心智健康孩子的基本要素并未改变。

天下父母都希望自己的孩子健康成长,有出息。哈佛大学的研究者指出,这个愿望不必以牺牲孩子的善良和同情心为代价。他们相信,一些经过检验而可靠的策略依然是最佳方式,能够将你的孩子塑造成为你希望他们成为的正直诚实、同时也是目标明确的那一类人。以下是六条实用建议:

1)陪伴你的孩子。

这一条是基础。定期与孩子呆在一起,向他们询问各种开放性的问题,这些问题与他们自己有关,也与他们如何看待这个世界有关。你要耐心聆听孩子的答案。你不仅会了解到孩子身上独一无二的特性,而且也正在通过身体力行告诉他们,如何向另外一个人表示关心。

2)如果事情重要,就大声说出来。

研究人员指出,“尽管绝大多数父母和照顾孩子的人认为养育一个会关爱别人的孩子是重中之重,但孩子们却不知道大人们的良苦用心。”因此你要向孩子表达出来。与孩子的老师、教练以及他们身边的人交流,来为孩子在团队中表现的合作能力、与别人相处、懂得做人的行为把脉。

3)教会孩子如何解决问题。

帮助孩子度过决策过程,包括要考虑到决策会如何影响其他人。比如,如果你的孩子想中断某项体育运动或者其他活动,父母要帮助他们寻找和确定问题的根源,并让孩子思考他们对团队的承诺,然后帮助他们了解他们一旦真的退出,是否会真正的解决了他们的问题。

4)培养乐于助人和感恩的习惯。

研究人员指出,“研究表明,习惯表达感恩的人更加乐于助人,他们慷慨大方、富有同情心、懂得宽恕——他们也更加快乐和健康。”因此,父母最好坚持孩子帮忙做家务事,帮助兄弟姊妹,一整天都有表达感谢的习惯。关于奖励措施,研究人员建议父母只表扬“超乎寻常的好慈爱行为”。

5)关注孩子的破坏性情绪。

研究人员指出,“关心他人的能力会被愤怒、羞耻、嫉妒或其他负面情绪所淹没。”父母要帮助孩子认识,表达,并处理这些情绪,然后引导他们安全的解决冲突,才能持续的把育儿的重点放在帮助他们成为一个有关爱能力的人。同样重要的是,出于爱和安全的考虑,父母要帮助孩子设立清晰而合理的界限。

6)向孩子展示一幅更加宏伟的图景。

“几乎所有的孩子都能关爱和同理身边的亲朋好友。”研究人员指出。最关键的是培养他们去关爱在他们的社会,文化,甚至地理的圈外的人们。要做到这一点,你可以通过培养他们成为卓越的聆听者,鼓励他们学会换位思考,和利用在新闻和娱乐中的各种可教时刻来培养孩子的同理心。

该项研究以下面这段给所有父母鼓劲的话结束:

“培养一个懂得关心和尊重他人、正直诚实的孩子一直以来就是一项艰巨任务。但这件事我们所有人都可以去做。没有什么工作比这件事更加重要、带来更大的回报。”

英文原文:


Harvard psychologists have been studying what it takes to raise 'good' kids. Here are 6 tips.

A lot of parents are tired of being told how technology is screwing up their kids.


Moms and dads of the digital age are well aware of the growing competition for their children's attention, and they're bombarded at each turn of the page or click of the mouse with both cutting-edge ideas and newfound worries for raising great kids.

Cartoon by Sara Zimmerman/Unearthed Comics.

But beneath the madness of modernity, the basics of raising a moral child haven't really changed.


Parents want their kids to achieve their goals and find happiness, but Harvard researchers believe that doesn't have to come at the expense of kindness and empathy. They say a fewtried-and-true strategies remain the best ways to mold your kids into the morally upstanding and goals-oriented humans you want them to be. Here are six practical tips:

1) Hang out with your kids.

Image by Cade Martin/Public Domain Images.

This is, like, the foundation of it all. Spend regular time with your kids, ask them open-ended questions about themselves, about the world and how they see it, and actively listen to their responses. Not only will you learn all sorts of things that make your child unique, you'll also be demonstrating to them how to show care and concern for another person.

2) If it matters, say it out loud.

Image by Steven Bennett/Wikimedia Commons.

According to the researchers, "Even though most parents and caretakers say that their children being caring is a top priority, often children aren't hearing that message." So be sure to say it with them. And so they know it's something they need to keep up with, check in with teachers, coaches, and others who work with your kids on how they're doing with teamwork, collaboration, and being a generally nice person.

3) Show your child how to "work it out."

Image by susieq3c/Flickr.

Walk them through decision-making processes that take into consideration people who could be affected. For example, if your child wants to quit a sport or other activity, encourage them to identify the source of the problem and consider their commitment to the team. Then help them figure out if quitting does, in fact, fix the problem.

4) Make helpfulness and gratitude routine.


Image by David D/Flickr.

The researchers write, "Studies show that people who engage in the habit of expressing gratitude are more likely to be helpful, generous, compassionate, and forgiving — and they're also more likely to be happy and healthy." So it's good for parents to hold the line on chores, asking kids to help their siblings, and giving thanks throughout the day. And when it comes to rewarding "good" behavior, the researchers recommend that parents "only praise uncommon acts of kindness."


5) Check your child's destructive emotions.

"The ability to care for others is overwhelmed by anger, shame, envy, or other negative feelings," say the researchers. Helping kids name and process those emotions, then guiding them toward safe conflict resolution, will go a long way toward keeping them focused on being a caring individual. It's also important to set clear and reasonable boundaries that they'll understand are out of love and concern for their safety.

6) Show your kids the bigger picture.

Image by debowcyfoto/Pixabay.

"Almost all children empathize with and care about a small circle of families and friends," say the researchers. The trick is getting them to care about people who are socially, culturally, and even geographically outside their circles. You can do this by coaching them to be good listeners, by encouraging them to put themselves in other people's shoes, and by practicing empathy using teachable moments in news and entertainment.

微信扫码关注该文公众号作者

戳这里提交新闻线索和高质量文章给我们。
相关阅读
学习自觉主动的孩子,家长都做对了什么? 权威心理学家15年跟踪研究发现,颠覆认知加州大学河滨分校,优越的气候和丰富的文化活动|教育心理学/学校心理学/心理学硕博项目介绍看病,加拿大的医疗真的“好”么?华人亲身经历吐槽:一拖就是大病!“好”老公!华人夫妻诈骗1.5亿美元,妻子被捕判刑丈夫潜逃回国!发财方式真是绝了......秒懂!著名心理学家维蕾娜:在权力欲和金钱欲膨胀的社会里,做三件事可以保护孩子的兴趣社会心理学:Social Psychology|心理学细分专业介绍发现未来的心理学家 | 华东人才2024咨询心理学夏校开放申请美国文化探究,等级“森严”的皮卡球场。夏威夷大学,享受南太平洋的悠闲|心理学/咨询心理学/社会工作/公共健康硕博项目全球最大电量换电重卡正式下线;中国科学家研发高比能氢混动力电源,解决工业级无人机续航难题丨智能制造日报Greta Ferro领衔主演/<<Colette>> You will怎样养育一个心理健康的孩子?法国教育专家给的9个建议人民的“好”专家:樊纲长篇小说:九针 (55)英国心理学PhD学长分享:跨专业申请英国心理学硕士指南(Conversion项目)|直播回顾中国科学家研制出世界首款类脑互补视觉芯片“天眸芯”;腾讯正式发布AI助手App“腾讯元宝”......怎样过好这一生?哈佛心理学教授的12条建议做父母的,要觉察自己养育时的这种心理童年很短,好好用心“看见”孩子,你的爱会成为孩子心中的太阳~汽车之家研究院:2024小微电动市场发展研究报告司法心理学 vs. 犯罪心理学|心理学细分专业介绍工程心理学:Engineering psychology|心理学细分专业介绍【荐】懂点心理学,走好人生路,给8~15岁孩子的健康心理指南科学家研发光驱动纳米马达实现运动速度新突破,最高速可达125μm/s,或用于药物递送及精确成像协和心理学家研究:孩子最好的营养剂,第一是运动,第二种你想不到我是否适合心理临床工作?临床心理学和咨询心理学的区别是?硕博项目有什么差异?回国散记1: 买机票堪萨斯大学,心理学是优势专业之一|心理学相关项目介绍长篇奇幻浪漫小说《双灵星》第二十章:不断的情打破认知局限!我国科学家研发出这一新型材料滨海学习,迈阿密大学 | 精神健康咨询/咨询心理学/应用行为分析/心理学硕博介绍莱斯大学,工业组织心理学排名第一|心理学相关项目介绍哈佛受训心理学家推荐的6本好书,带给你幸福充实的生活|世界读书日工信部部长:推动5G、智能网联汽车、商业航天、低空经济等新兴产业健康有序发展;我国科学家研发出低功耗类脑芯片丨智能制造日报特拉华大学,坐落风景宜人的小镇 | 人类发展与家庭科学/学校心理学/心理学硕博项目介绍
logo
联系我们隐私协议©2024 redian.news
Redian新闻
Redian.news刊载任何文章,不代表同意其说法或描述,仅为提供更多信息,也不构成任何建议。文章信息的合法性及真实性由其作者负责,与Redian.news及其运营公司无关。欢迎投稿,如发现稿件侵权,或作者不愿在本网发表文章,请版权拥有者通知本网处理。