每日原则：要清楚界限在哪里，并站在公平的另一端

2022-10-14 00:10

这条界限要依据各方之间的交换关系，在区别于什么是慷慨大方之后再确定什么是公平、什么是适当、什么是必需。如之前提到的，你应当期望人们的行为与那些高素质、有长期伙伴关系的人一致，彼此之间高度关切对方的利益，并清楚各自的职责。每个人都应该站在公平的另一端，对此，我的意思是说要尽可能多为别人着想，少向别人索取。这与大多数商业关系中的行为是不同的，商业行为更关注自己的利益而非对方的利益或整个集体的利益。如果每一方都说“你应该得到更多”“不，是你应得到更多”，而不是“我应该得到更多”，你就更有可能建立一种慷慨、良好的人际关系。

The line is what’s fair, appropriate, or required, as distinct from what’s generous, in light of the deﬁned quid pro quo relationship between parties. As mentioned earlier, You should expect people to behave in a manner consistent with how people in high-quality, long-term relationships behave—with a high level of mutual consideration for each other’s interests and a clear understanding of who is responsible for what. Each should operate on the far side of fair, by which I mean giving more consideration to others than you demand for yourself. This is diﬀerent from how people in most commercial relationships generally behave, as they tend to focus more on their own interests than on the interests of others or of the community as a whole. If each party says “You deserve more,” “No, you deserve more,” rather than “I deserve more,” you are more likely to have generous, good relationships.