每天一乐(2)
Humor in A Day's Work《2》 20170307
<I>
''阿玛提,你报名五月初考AP?''
''是,我自学自备''
''可上周我给你们那么多往年的AP试题你为啥偏不做?还玩儿巧的撒谎?''
''老师我要重新做人''
''可是你败坏了班里学风,该当何罪?'' 雅典娜:''听说老师把芥末青豆分给A3班的学生吃了''
Ms L:''他们整体有一贯的优良学风''
安德鲁:''老师今天还有糖吗?''
Ms. L:''有,但谁都不能给,必须全班相互帮助,有不凡的表现!''
众人谴责目光齐刷刷对准一个方向:''阿玛提,你这害群之马,幡然悔悟吧!我们要吃芥末豆的!''
Ms L:''阿玛提,你光跟我要复习材料是远远不够的,我从不诓人。目前你比AP班落后整整两章的内容,必须自己补上方能考虑是否参加真正的考试 并且你的时间远不充裕,明白吗?你要自己做个时间表来赶上,希望你脱胎换骨,绝地逢生,最后用事实说话''
<II>
Ms. L:''Zach, you need to know that from now on, you will never, ever expect to have any of your test graded with sympathy and leniency, period. And especially before the end of a marking period, don't you email or talk to me asking for reconsideration of any chances of improving your average. Don't talk to me and don't even come near me."
Zach K: "But why? Ms. L? What did I do to deserve that harsh of a punishment?"
Ms. L: "Zach, don't try to put on that innocent puppy look .......I think this year's Oscar for best leading actor obviously went to the wrong person……"
Zach(blushed and waited till the roar of the laughter in class has died down): "Ok, Ms L, tell me how I get the sympathy back. "
Ms. L: "Zach my boy, how could you not understand you don't have any sympathy left in your bank? You have long exhausted all of your credibility in my book. You didn't do your homework before the senior trip, you talked over me while I made the announcement, and you are still chatting with Ritwick when everybody else is seriously working. You have no chance left except you produce 100% perfect score on every test to save your ......."
Zach: "Wow Ms. L......"