《对爱不再怀疑》by陈冲
多年前读《新民晚报》，看到陈冲的这篇文章，印象深刻。后来发现她的文章都写得很好，好过许多专业的作家。今天把这篇和她为奥运写的文章放在一起欣赏。
对爱不再怀疑
三舅公是我奶奶的弟弟，三舅婆是他太太。小时候从来没有听说过奶奶有这么个弟弟，到美国之后方才晓得。可能是当年怕 “ 里通外国 ” 的罪名而不敢认这门亲。
到美国的第一夜与第二夜，我住在三舅公家。现在想想那是一幢极小极普通的房子，在纽约远郊地皮便宜的地方。但是那两天我觉得有这样高级的、门前带草坪的房子，三舅公与三舅婆他们一定很有钱。第三天我搬到了学生宿舍。以后，三舅婆曾来校园里探过我一次，带了些好吃的。那年底，我还在她家里过了我到美国后的第一个圣诞节。第二学期，我转学到了加洲，便与三舅公、三舅婆渐渐失去了联系。他们只是十分偶然地出现在我父母的言谈中，并使我知道他们的日子其实过得很清苦，所以总也不肯退休。
由于我自己的生活中常常充满了一些不可思议的问题，自顾不暇，这些年中确实很少想到过三舅公与三舅婆，所以当三舅婆突然给我打来电话时，我很有些吃惊。三舅婆的一位老友是我先生的病人，她也因此而找到了我。她在电话中说她常在报刊上读到有关我的消息，能重新找到我，她非常高兴。三舅公故去后她不常出门，也很少跟人见面，但她想来旧金山见见我。挂好电话，我不觉纳闷起来，我和她的接触总共才三四天，又是在十多年前，这次来，不知还有什么其他的事。早些年，在我到美国刚开始拍电影挣了些钱之后有些亲戚或干亲戚们曾经来借钱。我因此猜她或许也是缺钱吧。我把与她共处的那几天细细回想了一番，虽然不熟，但她在我初到美国时给过我温饱，又是亲戚，我其实早该主动寄些钱去的。
一见到三舅婆，我便提出当晚要请她吃晚饭，她说不用了，就去喝杯咖啡吧，，有些事要跟我说。我开车陪她去了一家安静的咖啡馆，叫了咖啡和点心，等她开口。她含情脉脉地望了我一会儿之后说： “ 真没想到我这生这世还能再见到你。你不知道我多想见见熊家的人呵！ ” 说着眼圈就红了。我虽然姓陈，但我奶奶姓熊，所以我身上也流有熊家人的血。她丈夫死后，她太想他了，以至能与跟他有血缘关系的人见上一面，竟也成为一种安慰。我呆呆地望着她，心里突然好难受，难受里还夹着羞愧。老人为情而来，我却如此俗气，以为是来借钱的。
三舅婆见我愣着不说话，便问我先生对我好不好，我说好。她说： “ 现在你还年轻不会懂，将来你就知道，天底下能跟你说话的就只有你男人。 ” 一面说，她的泪水止不住地往外流。三舅婆这辈子没有孩子，三舅公是她唯一的亲人。他们四八年一起到巴西，打了十七年的工，攒够了钱才一同迁到美国。三舅公在纽约哥伦比亚大学拿了学位后在一家银行工作。三舅婆在哥伦比亚大学找到了一份秘书性质的工作，一直在那儿做到退休。他们沦落天涯，相依为命五十多年。所以三舅婆每说一个 “ 我好想他 ” ，我心里都要紧一紧。我知道她思念得好苦，好无望。舅公死了四年了，她还这样不能自拔，这以后的日子可怎么过呢？我劝她想开些，半开玩笑地讲给她听我认识的一位七十多岁老太最近嫁了个八十岁的，日子过得很开心。她笑了笑，但好象笑得高深莫测，也许是笑我无知。我觉得自己讲什么话都有些不合适，只好又呆坐在那里。她自言自语地说： “ 他一天都没有拖累我，说去就去了，也没让我伺候他几年。 ” 从来没有老人跟我这样诉过衷肠，我感动之余，又有些窘迫。我们沉闷了许久。突然，她擦干了眼泪鼻涕，换了个人似地跟我说： “ 有件事告诉你，因为你是熊家的后代。 ” 我让服务员给我们添上了新鲜的咖啡，听她慢慢讲。
三舅公和三舅婆颠簸辛苦了一辈子，除了纽约远郊的那幢小房子以外，总共存下了九万美金。勤俭节约了一生是为了一同养老。可三舅婆刚退休一年，三舅公便去世了。她怎么能一个人去花这笔钱呢？几十年来攒下的心血钱，蓦然之间变得毫无价值。三舅公这几十年来给过她两件贵重的礼物。一件是金婚纪念日时送的金刚钻石与白金手镯，另一件是七十岁生日送的紫貂大衣。三舅婆将这两件礼物卖掉换来一万美金，加上九万存款一并捐给了哥伦比亚大学。每年有不少富翁给哥大捐钱，一捐就是一百万，所以三舅婆的十万美金不算什么。三舅婆就去找校长谈，有人捐一百万，但是那人拥有几十亿。她虽然只捐了十万，但这是她毕生的全部积蓄。校长问她为什么这样做，她告诉校长这是为她死去的丈夫做的， “ 我们一辈子庸庸碌碌，存下这些钱来，他没有来得及花。现在他死了，没有留下子女来思念他，也没有留下什么业绩，我捐了这钱，在哥大留下他的名字，作为纪念。 ” 校长听了十分感动，决定在校园里五个长长的石雕凳上刻上三舅公的名字 ——“ 我们怀着爱心纪念大卫 · 熊。 ”
“ 我常去那儿坐坐， ” 三舅婆一脸平静的骄傲， “ 你如果去纽约也可以去看看。 ”
我对眼前这位老人肃然起敬。她的精神力量让我震惊。望着她简朴的衣着，我突然想到， “ 你现在靠什么过活？ ” 她豪爽地答道： “ 我有退休金，还有社会福利金。实在老了就去养老院。 ” 我不由地想到美国养老院是个多么凄惨的地方，而十万美金可以换取到最好的保姆和专业护士，在她自己家里给她无微不至的照顾。
三舅婆的眼睛里没有任何对同情心的邀请，也没有任何对自己所作的牺牲的炫耀。能在她的眼睛里看到的只是一个浩瀚、富有的精神王国，她与三舅公在一道，就跟我最后一次在圣诞节之夜见到他们时那样。犹如在这浑浊、有限的物质世界里流过一股清泉，它透彻，明亮，使我对爱不再怀疑，对未来不再恐惧。
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陈冲昨天在“华盛顿邮报”上发表的好文《让奥运会继续》：
Let The Games Go On
Wednesday, April 9, 2008; A19
I was born in Shanghai in 1961 and grew up during the Cultural Revolution. During my childhood, I saw my family lose our house. My grandfather, who studied medicine in England, committed suicide after he was wrongly accused of being a counterrevolutionary and a foreign spy.
Those were the worst of times.
Since the Cultural Revolution ended in the late 1970s, however, I have witnessed unimaginable progress in China. Changes that few ever thought possible have occurred in a single generation. A communist government that had no ties to the West has evolved into a more open government eager to join the international community.
A state-controlled economy has morphed into a market economy, greatly raising people's standard of living. It's clear that the majority of the Chinese people enjoy much fuller, more abundant lives today than 30 years ago. Though much remains to be done, the Chinese government has made rapid progress in opening up and trying to be part of the international community.
Last month I went to China and spent four weeks visiting Shanghai, Beijing, Hong Kong and Chengdu. The people I met and spoke with are proud and excited about the Beijing Games. They believe that the Olympics are a wonderful opportunity to showcase modern China to the rest of the world. Like many Americans, most Chinese people are disturbed by the recent events in Tibet. But after watching the scenes of violence and arson by the rioters, the Chinese believe that the government is doing the right thing in cracking down to restore order.
The Olympic torch is in California and is to be carried through San Francisco today. In a resolution criticizing China, Chris Daly, a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, said that demonstrating against the torch relay would "provide the people of San Francisco with a lifetime opportunity to help 1.3 billion Chinese people gain more freedom and rights." To his credit, Mayor Gavin Newsom did not sign Daly's resolution.
This statement could not be further from reality. For one thing, the Chinese are a proud people. They want freedom and greater rights, but they know they must fight for them from within. They know that no one can grant them freedom and rights from afar. The stigma of Western imperialism and the Opium Wars also remains a strong reminder of the past, and Chinese people do not want their domestic policies to be dictated by outside powers. They also do not want the United States to boycott the opening ceremonies of the Games. The U.S. boycott of the 1980 Games in Moscow and the Soviet boycott of the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles accomplished nothing. A U.S. boycott of the opening ceremonies in Beijing would be counterproductive for relations between the two countries.
For decades, anti-China human rights groups in Washington have spent millions of dollars denouncing China. To many Chinese, it seems that this lobby is the only voice that's acceptable or newsworthy in the U.S. media and to the U.S. government. But times are changing. We need to be open-minded and farsighted. We need to make more friends than enemies. Remember what a little ping-pong game did for Sino-U.S. relations in the 1970s? Let's celebrate the Olympics for what the Games are meant to be -- a bridge for friendship, not a playground for politics.
The writer is an actress and director. She became a U.S. citizen in 1989.