建立友谊需要多久？心理学家：34小时

从“泛泛之交”发展成真正的朋友需要大约11次互动、每次至少交流3小时，并且这些互动最好在5个半月内完成。

The Fisherman's Friend study found it takes about 34 hours of investment to shift from a more superficial acquaintance to a true friendship. According to the study, a total of 11 interactions are required to transit from acquaintances into friendship, with the average friendship taking 5.5 months to turn into something solid.

这样的时长在现今这个快节奏（fast-paced）、超负荷（over-scheduled）、时间不够用（time-impoverished）的世界里可不是一件容易的事。

新冠疫情对人们交友也影响巨大，心理学教授邓巴认为：“封锁让人们重新思考自己的许多朋友关系。由于友谊非常依赖持续的时间投入，所以如果你与朋友交往互动不够，友谊就会消逝。” 

According to Dunbar, "Lockdown made people rethink a lot of their friendships. and one of the big problems [has been] friendships are very dependent of continued investment of time, so if you aren't able to see individuals at the requisite rate, they're just going to slide." 

如果联系中断，朋友间会在几个月内失去情感亲密感，迅速走向陌路。

尽管交朋友很耗费时间，但三分之二的调查对象仍在积极寻找新朋友，58%的人表示需要许多朋友才会觉得满足。

调查结果还显示，人们交友时比较看重某些特质：61%的人认为幽默感很重要；44%表示需要价值观相同；26%希望好朋友与自己有共同的兴趣爱好；此外，值得信赖（26%）和可靠（23%）是友谊的基石。

Study found certain qualities are most important for friendship. In particular, 61% of respondents believe a sense of humor is an essential ingredient of friendship and 44% say it's about holding similar values. For 26% friendship is driven by similar interests and activities. People also say friendship is based on being trustworthy (26%) and reliable (23%).

牛津大学心理学教授邓巴因提出“社会大脑假说”而闻名。他认为，受到脑容量和时间成本限制，现代人最多可以和约150人保持友谊。

其中，约有5人处于“核心朋友圈”——这些是你可以真正依赖的人，感情最为深厚的“死党”（ "shoulder to cry on" friends）。

图源：Christopher Roosen

Dunbar was made famous for his classic theory that people can maintain meaningful relationships with about 150 others. This is based on brain size, but it’s also based on the amount of time and investment it takes to maintain connections with each other. Within their 150 relationships, the average person has about 5 people who are close friends. According to Dunbar, these are “shoulder to cry on” friends—the people you can really rely on, and with whom you have the deepest relationships.

你有几个“死党”？把这篇文章分享给你的朋友们吧。

编辑：焦洁

实习生：魏宁

来源：新华社 福布斯新闻网 Richmond&Towers communications