如何面对消失的朋友：乐活让每个人每天活得更加精彩！
Title: Graveyard of Old Friends — Loving Life Helps You Live Better Every Day
You can listen to my story on SoundCloud:
Have you have ever one of your close friends suddenly disappear from your life?
You guys used to talk every day over messages. Conversations could easily go until midnight. And then suddenly this person vanishes. Without a sign.
You sent several messages. No response.
When I left my corporate job, one of my champions and mentors, stopped responding to my messages.
I was really hurt. For a long time.
I was angry. I felt used. When he needed me, his response rate to my messages was within five mins. Most of the time, within seconds.
I was sad. How can someone who knows me so well, cares about me, champions for my success, vanishes? Without even saying goodbye.
I doubted myself. What have I done wrong?
“Closure is overrated,” one friend told me, “You need to keep your eyes for what’s in front of you. Not driving looking at the rearview mirror.”
“You are a better friend than he is,” another friend said, “Same thing happened to me. You just have to realize. People come and go in your life.”
I shot an interview with Sage Hall, one of my favorite yoga teachers in the entire universe (full interview coming soon on Loving Life Youtube Channel).
She told me when she was doing yoga training, her teacher said, “Keep your focus on the mat.”
For three weeks, her teacher said the same thing.
At first, she didn’t get it. Keeping your focus on the matter. Sure.
“I am a very sensitive person,” she shared, “When someone next to me opens up their water bottle, I feel it. The person two rows behind me, putting up the wrong leg into the sky. I know. Why are you not putting up the right leg?! I would yell inside me.”
Only towards the end of those three weeks, she started to get what it means to “keep your focus on the mat.”
“My job here is to do yoga. To learn how to teach yoga. Why am I policing everyone else? Whatever others are doing, I should keep my focus.”
It’s the same thing with old friends.
The reason why I felt left alone. Angry. Sad. Was that I wanted him to respond to my messages.
I had a desire to control others.
What if I just let him be? Let them be.
Whatever their life circumstances are. Perhaps some do not allow them to be friends any more. And maybe one day our paths will cross again.
I accept that. I gave them the space to be them.
I gave myself the space to become the new me. With new friends. New mentors. New champions.
Sage made this beautiful analogy.
“I am this person with a lantern walking in the dark. Join if you feel like doing so.” That’s her teaching philosophy.
It comes not from a place of control, or dictation.
It comes with such acceptance and openness to all individuality and all circumstances. To celebrate the beauty of our uniqueness.
I had figured a long time ago that what impacts my efficiency the most is not time management, but energy management.
All the inner work that takes place is energy management.
That is why I said, the next wave of startups that will be big will be the ones that can understand human beings in a deep way and help people live better lives.
What does it mean to live a good life?
For example, human efficiency. I wanted a communication tool that allows sending outbound messages without seeing inbound messages first. I was doing outreach to XYZ and wanted to be laser focused. The moment I opened gmail, I saw all the messages and some impacted my energy and slowed me down. A suggestion to me, was Superhuman.
For example, mental health. I’m not talking about PTSD or severe depression. I’m talking about emotional training. In our daily lives. How to take a challenging situation and turn that into the best present for your life? How to shorten the cycle of sadness, anger, fear and channel that into something productive? Use those emotions which are part of human nature as tools to learn more about yourself and live better, with more clarity and lightness?
These are the questions that Loving Life aims to tackle. To help people live better lives. Every day, take a baby step forward to be a little happier with a bit more wisdom.
When you are frustrated with your two-year-old son, because something he does triggers something in you. What is it in you that gets triggered? How can you solve for that, instead of lashing your anger onto your son? Swap your son, with your friend, partner, boss, colleague, roommate here.
To help people make scary but important decisions.
To my friends in consulting or banking who are unhappy but still stayed for the money or security or answering to parents’ expectations. Maybe there really is another way to live? To exist.
A career and life that leverage your creativity instead of stifling it to succeed. Loving Life Conversation Series, People Who Change The World are the people who have done that, who are doing it. Hopefully by listening to their stories, you can be inspired and empowered to make the jump.
To help the world become a better place when all of us can truly be who we are. When all of us accept each other, no matter how different we all are. Whether it’s gender, race, what languages we speak, what culture we come from. We are all different but all the same.
It is okay to be different.
It is wonderful to be different.
It is something worth celebrating when you have discovered your uniqueness and decided to pursue your passion to make the best out of what you have been gifted with.
“I am that I am,” Sage said to me. “Figuring out the I is the work.”
Loving Life is an education and media platform, empowering everyone to be the best version of ourselves. Loving Life Conversation Series, People Who Change The World features the best entrepreneur and VC ecosystem to the world. Learn more HERE. Sample show HERE. Get in touch HERE.
I will be in California October 25 to November 12. I am coming to the Middle East November 27 to December 12. If you are pursuing your passion, reach out to me HERE. I would love to hear about your story. Together, we can make the world a better place.
Special thanks to Sage Hall, for the conversation on a beautiful Friday morning in Central Park, New York. Full interview coming soon here. To experience Sage live, go to Equinox 61st street, on Fridays 9am.
Special thanks to Dyland Xue for offering valuable suggestions on my writing and the creation of Loving Life.
原文发布于Medium：
https://medium.com/@lovinglife7/graveyard-of-old-friends-loving-life-helps-you-live-better-every-day-4364b2a78d2d
乐活对话系列预告：下场活动我将对话Ashmeet Sidana，硅谷投资人、创业者，Ashmeet投资种子软件公司，多项投资IPO或被收购。10月22日周六10：30AM美东时间（10:30PM北京时间），Ashmeet早已财务自由，却仍然每日辛勤工作。他为什么而活？他如何“成功”的？
报名链接：https://lu.ma/v5j1yqvd
在硅谷与Ashmeet Sidana合影
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