这里使用 ”thank you in advance” rude吗?

邮件里写了两个request: 
1) “I am wondering if you would suggest xxx”
2) “I am wondering if you could consider providing me with some feedbacks if your time allows”
结束的时候写了 “Thank you in advance”. 发完以后才发现这句话很rude, 因为有假设别人会同意的意思。但是我在最后一个request里用了consider和time allows, 所以我本来想表达提前感谢consideration and time. 不知道是不是我理解错了，这么用还是会让对方感觉到我很rude.

哪里说的？ 从来没听说过。 不过说 thank you so much 就行了。

I'm wondering 更侮辱人，我觉得。

I'm wondering 更侮辱人，我觉得。
aiyamayayongle 发表于 2023-07-15 20:48

为什么？

为什么？
pop 发表于 2023-07-15 20:50

你很不幽默。

没觉得 活的太仔细了吧

Would you suggest… Would you provide some feedback if time allows. Thank you.

回复 7楼聚的帖子
交给 chatgpt 去写 最省心 ～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～lol

哪里说的？ 从来没听说过。 不过说 thank you so much 就行了。
gokgs 发表于 2023-07-15 20:45

https://ca.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/thanks-in-advance

不会用I would like to know吗？
1.
2. I am wondering I am wondering，听着有点放肆随意的感觉

你们都好认真。我都不怎么管。我的意思表达清楚想要啥就行了。都是can you please....When you have time. 着急就ASAP 我都跟他们说我英语词汇量有限，只会直接交流。管他的呢。我觉得我礼貌不礼貌反正跟他们也成不了朋友。就是干活而已。日子处的久了，还是行为本身比语言更重要。

https://ca.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/thanks-in-advance
drewhouse 发表于 2023-07-15 20:58

没说 rude 阿？ 哪里说了？

不会用I would like to know吗？
1.
2. I am wondering I am wondering，听着就有点居高临下的感觉
桃花朵朵 发表于 2023-07-15 21:00

没听说过。 I am wondering 应该是比较委婉的说法。

没听说过。 I am wondering 应该是比较委婉的说法。
gokgs 发表于 2023-07-15 21:10

我改了一下。感觉比较熟的人之间用的多吧，同事之间好奇八卦用。楼主是向人家请求事情，不得礼貌客气点?

你们都好认真。我都不怎么管。我的意思表达清楚想要啥就行了。都是can you please....When you have time. 着急就ASAP 我都跟他们说我英语词汇量有限，只会直接交流。管他的呢。我觉得我礼貌不礼貌反正跟他们也成不了朋友。就是干活而已。日子处的久了，还是行为本身比语言更重要。
doublemint 发表于 2023-07-15 21:03

could you please should be better.

没说 rude 阿？ 哪里说了？
gokgs 发表于 2023-07-15 21:09

https://www.inc.com/elizabeth-danziger/thank-you-in-advance-presumptuous-or-polite.html
In a recent training, there was a spirited discussion about writing "Thank you in advance" as an email signoff. Half the group considered the phrase friendly, while half felt it was manipulative or rude.
To me, writing "Thank you in advance" is like writing, "I''m so sure you''re going to do what I want that I''ll thank you right now. And then I don''t have to bother to thank you after you do it." I''m not a fan.
两篇文章一个意思啦, indeed那篇没直说, 但也提到一般上司给下属派活儿的时候才合适说。

不会用I would like to know吗？
1.
2. I am wondering I am wondering，听着有点放肆随意的感觉
桃花朵朵 发表于 2023-07-15 21:00

wonder没毛病吧…
https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/i-wonder
You can say `I wonder' if you want to be very polite when you are asking someone to do something, or when you are asking them for their opinion or for information. [politeness] I was just wondering if you could help me.

为啥要wonder? 直接一点can you xxx,客气一点could you xxx

我觉得就是push一点也没啥

为啥要wonder? 直接一点can you xxx,客气一点could you xxx
crazyeater 发表于 2023-07-16 14:23

因为wonder更客气

我也觉得wonder没必要用。就直接写，Any feed back about xxx就可以了。一个句子里又是would could，又是wondering，有点太腻了，反而显得虚。
直接就写，Do you have any other suggestion? 就可以了。suggestion和feed back其实是一件事情。
至于thank you in advance，确实是假设对方一定会回答。但是写了就写了。对方真要ignore也就ignore了。都不是个事。我也经常在寻求别人帮忙的时候写thank you in advance。无所谓啦。
当然了，如果LZ是在中国，可以多琢磨琢磨。如果在美国，根本没必要想那么细。格局可以大一点。没人那么在意这个细节。

https://www.inc.com/elizabeth-danziger/thank-you-in-advance-presumptuous-or-polite.html
In a recent training, there was a spirited discussion about writing "Thank you in advance" as an email signoff. Half the group considered the phrase friendly, while half felt it was manipulative or rude.
To me, writing "Thank you in advance" is like writing, "I''m so sure you''re going to do what I want that I''ll thank you right now. And then I don''t have to bother to thank you after you do it." I''m not a fan.
两篇文章一个意思啦, indeed那篇没直说, 但也提到一般上司给下属派活儿的时候才合适说。


drewhouse 发表于 2023-07-15 21:26

这就是woke的东西。ignore就好了。工作中大家关注的点是解决问题。只要在email中不用伤人的词，把事情讲清楚就行了。没必要搞那些个虚的东西。升职，加薪看的都是实际的工作结果，而不是这些东西。
我遇到过印度人写的东西，一堆客气话，可是写的内容，事情都没讲清楚，这种email看的就烦。与其计较这些，不如多想想如何解决真正的问题。如果你写信的对方会在乎什么thank in advance太过pushy，那这个人的suggesion，基本可以ignore，应该是没有干货的。

回复 1楼drewhouse的帖子
I wonder whether you would suggest xxx
I wonder if you''d like to provide me with some feedbacks if your time allows
Thank you for your time and help/kindness.
感觉这样写好一些？